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Janeen DeGolier NX

The saga continues here with incest family members attacking, infiltrating, donning sheep's clothing to get the job accomplished.

They say I began the war, but my 100,000+/- bird and flower pictures would dispute that. I was busy checking the lawn, bushes, trees, garden, for new birds, old birds with new expressions, birds with character, birds of color, size, intelligence, and funny birds. Oh, and birds badgering, singing, chattering, staring at me, screaming at me, flying away, flying in.

My new book was to be the closing chapter on my past, a book of lessons learned, upbeat quotes and birds, birds, birds from my healing place, Albion, Orleans County, NY at my sister's house where together we thrilled to each new discovery of the bird-life in her own backyard.

But incest family system's cannot, as in, are not able to, trust.  So the war returned and a summer of pain and confusion, stress and fear entered Albion, NY and my sister and I, along with three other "heretics" struggled to understand so much cruelty pitted against one young sister, me, just to "save" our long ago dishonored family name.

You see, when I spoke in our old hometown of Brocton, NY, one woman was forthcoming with the news that the little town in general knew there were things "happening in our house at 151 Lake Avenue. Back then "it was family business and remained that way.

It still seems to be family business in that the old ways are still intact and disloyal people like myself must and shall be destroyed, run off, silenced, discredited.

But I was molested by 3 of my brothers my eldest nephew, and at last, my father. Now they want to re-victimize me for surviving, recovering, and moving on to live and create, and enjoy the joy and beauty in the world?

As I speak the evil is infiltrating the house I wrote both of my books in, and my sister will take further abuse as they try to win her back to "right thinking" but she knows I had moved on from the old family crap. She knows me, but she has been silent so long, how will she handle it?

Personally, I do not care how, only that she is able to preserve the love and light in herself. She need not go to great lengths to clear my name or defend me. They have used her own children to drive me out of her home, they used legal means fraught with lies, slander, and fear and they sent the law into her living room.

The rest of the family will never feel the joy, the love, the insight and strength of this woman, my sister, because they will not see outside their little box. They will not know her, only that they must rescue her from the wrong thinking I brainwashed her with, you know, like little girls should not be followed around campgrounds by lecherous old men who whine when they are found out. And that, brother or not, no man ought be protected from his own consequences by sacrificing his victims.

My sister who will now face the further disrespect of family members filling her head with what she ought to think, how she ought to feel, and whom it is safe to associate with, has a history of being the leaning post the good and the bad alike looked to for kindness. She has no evil in her to hurt anyone.

But I am not afraid for her. I know her strength and I know that though she has not yet found a voice as persistent as mine, she has found a voice. It is often a whisper, sometimes a raucous laugh at the insanity of what the family has done. At times it is silent, but then, are we not all silent at times?

I will not quit, and a large part of the reason is her and the other three sisters who have stood by me with every strength, love, and courage they could muster.

They are the heroes. I am just loud and determined, and now very angry at the anguish this family system caused with their "right" thinking.

But the people behind the scenes are the real heroes for me. They believed in me and mustered the courage to stand against the family the best they knew how.

Incest and sexual assault are a plague in America. One person cannot do a lot, but I will do all I can until I cannot do more.


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