Straight Talk From My Experience  

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Spring Follows Winter Just As Joy Follows Recovery

Sexual Assault happens every two minutes in this country, make a choice to be a part of the solution.

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• Archived Blog Post

  Date / Time: 10/22/2009 11:08 AM UTC

  The Trouble With Mob Rule When Fear Is The Instigator, Leader, & Weapon in an Incest Family System
  

  Nobody Wins!
  
  The mob remains in fear:
  Fear of being right
  Fear of being wrong
  Fear of discovery
  Fear of one stray individual thought betraying them
  Fear that one day they will become the target
  
  Fear
  Fear
  Fear
  
  Mob rule can kill, maim, slander, discredit, and destroy. But they can never win.
  
  It is more so in an Incest Family System. The Mob Rule consists of predators and the family who will give their own lives, time, energy,  emotion and sell their souls to the devil to protect a predator in the family.
  
  They lose on many levels.
  
  1. They lose the predator to his own disability
  2. They lose touch with their own humanity.
  3. They lock themselves in to one set of thinking, right thinking
  4. Individuality is sacrificed for the good of the family.
  5. Being on-guard consumes them
  6. Lies and deceit must be covered with more lies and deceit
  7. Remembering what they say is imperative, truth has a way of finding its way
  
  I am the disloyal member in an incest family system. I am not the first traitor, only the most recent.
  One who knew too much was labeled long ago "crazy"
  Intimidation wreaked havoc on most of us.
  Another was pressured to sign a paper stating that what happened never happened.
  A third was black-balled from the family for attempting to protect a predators grandchildren.
  
  I made the mistake of returning to the family territory of Chautauqua County. The first day in NY a family member-predator was lurking around, and yes, there is proof, in an attempt to frighten me off.
  You see, as the baby of 20 children, I was always easy to run off, a cry-baby, of little account.
  I changed.
  Now three years and 4 months later I am still moving forward and upward through fear and heartache and financial ruin due to caring too much for family who are incapable of caring back.
  And so Mob Rule has won some battles against me, but they cannot win the war.
  I told them to back off.
  I said my bite was worse than my bark.
  I said I was not out to hurt anyone.
  I said they had it all wrong.
  
  They in turn labeled me crazy, dangerous, suicidal, a candidate for "the system" for disability and "the mental help I need" and from all directions family members poured in to drive me away.
  
  Wait a moment. I am family. No. I am not. I am a traitor to the good name of bad people.
  I have dishonored the family with no honor.
  I must be put back in my place, or destroyed.
  
  They do not know yet that I found a new place to belong in, a place of freedom and sanity, individuality and self worth.
  
  When one of my elder sisters recently said if only I would just relax and be one of them, then they could accept me back in the family, I knew I would never be acceptable to them.
  
  I fought through depression, alcoholism, incest therapy, and years of twelve step meetings to get to this place. I faced down my mother, braved the cold heart of DeGolierland, and have stepped away from the precipice I let them drive me to.
  
  Go back and be "one of us" ? It will never happen.
  
  I will always be free of the past. I earned my freedom with tears and hard work.
  The family will remain a slave to the past, standing guard, ever vigilante against some wayward soul revealing the family secrets.
  
  I have gained four sisters however. I have sisters for the first time ever. So I have more family than I thought possible.
  
  Perhaps there are winners after all.
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