Straight Talk From My Experience  

Show Notes

Spring Follows Winter Just As Joy Follows Recovery

Sexual Assault happens every two minutes in this country, make a choice to be a part of the solution.

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Sexual Assault is everybody's business.

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  Date / Time: 10/31/2009 6:22 PM UTC

  Back on Air Monday Morning!

  The troops are gathering for the final assault, I can feel the ill wind breezing in from the west.
  I must be silenced.
  For family honor.
  Really?
  
  
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• Date / Time: 10/27/2009 6:28 PM UTC

  Sorry About This. Sudden upheaval.

  Be back on air Monday
  
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• Date / Time: 10/22/2009 11:20 AM UTC

  Changes On The Way

  I will combine the two shows, and try to focus on changing me as My Mama's Mustache was meant to focus on.
  
  However, with the family mob working on changing me also, I need to focus harder on what they fear the most, being found out.
  
  This is not about revenge. It is about survival. They have done their best to destroy my life, my mind, and my heart. They will not stop until I run for the hills with my head bowed in shame and contrition, or get put away as all crazy people must be.
  
  In their quest they have hurt many good people and delayed inexcusably my return to Carolina and my children and grandchildren.
  
  I no longer harbor any soft-hearted empathy for the family lynch mob. They are headed for a rude awakening and I intend to be the one to hand it to them.
  
  Incest Family Systems destroy the victim, and shield the predator to save the family honor.
  
  
  
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• Date / Time: 10/22/2009 11:19 AM UTC

  Changes On The Way

  I will combine the two shows, and try to focus on changing me as My Mama's Mustache was meant to focus on.
  
  However, with the family mob working on changing me also, I need to focus harder on what they fear the most, being found out.
  
  This is not about revenge. It is about survival. They have done their best to destroy my life, my mind, and my heart. They will not stop until I run for the hills with my head bowed in shame and contrition, or get put away as all crazy people must be.
  
  In their quest they have hurt many good people and delayed inexcusably my return to Carolina and my children and grandchildren.
  
  I no longer harbor any soft-hearted empathy for the family lynch mob. They are headed for a rude awakening and I intend to be the one to hand it to them.
  
  Incest Family Systems destroy the victim, and shield the predator to save the family honor.
  
  
  
  No Comments

• Date / Time: 10/22/2009 11:08 AM UTC

  The Trouble With Mob Rule When Fear Is The Instigator, Leader, & Weapon in an Incest Family System

  Nobody Wins!
  
  The mob remains in fear:
  Fear of being right
  Fear of being wrong
  Fear of discovery
  Fear of one stray individual thought betraying them
  Fear that one day they will become the target
  
  Fear
  Fear
  Fear
  
  Mob rule can kill, maim, slander, discredit, and destroy. But they can never win.
  
  It is more so in an Incest Family System. The Mob Rule consists of predators and the family who will give their own lives, time, energy,  emotion and sell their souls to the devil to protect a predator in the family.
  
  They lose on many levels.
  
  1. They lose the predator to his own disability
  2. They lose touch with their own humanity.
  3. They lock themselves in to one set of thinking, right thinking
  4. Individuality is sacrificed for the good of the family.
  5. Being on-guard consumes them
  6. Lies and deceit must be covered with more lies and deceit
  7. Remembering what they say is imperative, truth has a way of finding its way
  
  I am the disloyal member in an incest family system. I am not the first traitor, only the most recent.
  One who knew too much was labeled long ago "crazy"
  Intimidation wreaked havoc on most of us.
  Another was pressured to sign a paper stating that what happened never happened.
  A third was black-balled from the family for attempting to protect a predators grandchildren.
  
  I made the mistake of returning to the family territory of Chautauqua County. The first day in NY a family member-predator was lurking around, and yes, there is proof, in an attempt to frighten me off.
  You see, as the baby of 20 children, I was always easy to run off, a cry-baby, of little account.
  I changed.
  Now three years and 4 months later I am still moving forward and upward through fear and heartache and financial ruin due to caring too much for family who are incapable of caring back.
  And so Mob Rule has won some battles against me, but they cannot win the war.
  I told them to back off.
  I said my bite was worse than my bark.
  I said I was not out to hurt anyone.
  I said they had it all wrong.
  
  They in turn labeled me crazy, dangerous, suicidal, a candidate for "the system" for disability and "the mental help I need" and from all directions family members poured in to drive me away.
  
  Wait a moment. I am family. No. I am not. I am a traitor to the good name of bad people.
  I have dishonored the family with no honor.
  I must be put back in my place, or destroyed.
  
  They do not know yet that I found a new place to belong in, a place of freedom and sanity, individuality and self worth.
  
  When one of my elder sisters recently said if only I would just relax and be one of them, then they could accept me back in the family, I knew I would never be acceptable to them.
  
  I fought through depression, alcoholism, incest therapy, and years of twelve step meetings to get to this place. I faced down my mother, braved the cold heart of DeGolierland, and have stepped away from the precipice I let them drive me to.
  
  Go back and be "one of us" ? It will never happen.
  
  I will always be free of the past. I earned my freedom with tears and hard work.
  The family will remain a slave to the past, standing guard, ever vigilante against some wayward soul revealing the family secrets.
  
  I have gained four sisters however. I have sisters for the first time ever. So I have more family than I thought possible.
  
  Perhaps there are winners after all.
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• Date / Time: 10/21/2009 2:09 PM UTC

  I Shall Return!!!!!!!

  In the meantime, here is the post I would have posted, would have talked about and couldn't stay on line long enough to post even.

  My powerful pc should be ready this week. I got everything but my eyes crossed.

  There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find how you yourself have altered.
  Nelson Mandela
  
  I vowed to me before entering New York State in June 2006 that I would not knuckle under to family pressure, or the intimidation that was sure to come.
  
  I underestimated the meanness of the family of my birth. Perhaps I overestimated my own strength.
  
  Before I set off for the land of my childhood I joked to my children that I would be the one with binoculars up on the cliffs at Letchworth State Park checking out the DeGolier Family Reunion to see if it was safe to proceed.
  
  I ought to have taken me serious.
  
  It is three and a half years later, and I did not knuckle under, nor did I run. I bent and twisted like a funnel cake at the fair, as did two of my sisters who stood by me, but I did not break.
  
  In total I have four sisters now, four more than I had before 2006.
  
  But back to changing me.
  
  A portrait has been painted, more like a police sketch, and handed out, tacked up, and an all-points bulletin broadcast.
  
  She must be devalued, discredited, patronized, medicated, re-educated, disabled, silenced, sent back where "she belongs."
  
  One thing is sure. Had I the character, personality, selfishness, and viciousness of the labels attached to their rendition of me, I would hardly seek to change myself. It would still be everybody else who needs to change.
  
  Point made. They label me with their own cr and expect me to fix it.
  
  But it is all about changing me. The family will have to deal with their own stuff, or not. I do not care anymore.

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• Date / Time: 10/12/2009 1:07 PM UTC

  No Show Again

  Temporarily silenced due to technical difficulties and an evil incest family system begging for its comeuppance.
  
  My equipment is messed up still. Please return next week. I am just beginning to get reorganized after the latest blast of foul air.
  
  
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