Straight Talk From My Experience  

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Spring Follows Winter Just As Joy Follows Recovery

Sexual Assault happens every two minutes in this country, make a choice to be a part of the solution.

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• Archived Blog Post

  Date / Time: 5/21/2009 4:18 PM UTC

  On Incest Memory Recovery
  

  The following outburst was my blog before doing research on incest memory recovery.
  
  I was wrong. I apologize.
  
  Not only had I never heard of this movement, I never underwent any such treatments. My heart goes out to all who suffered this incredible injustice.
  
  I left this absurd writing of mine intact to remind me, and others that contempt prior to investigation is not the way to go. It is simply hot tempered rambling on a subject written from pure emotion. It also has the potential to harm people.
  
  In fact, this is the harm being done to me by people who are ignorant of the facts. This wrongheaded thinking riding on giant waves of emotion cuts swift and deep.
  
  I come by my arrogance and hot headed uninformed arguments honestly.
  
  So this week I wish to emphasize the impact such ignorant rantings have on both people who were victims of the memory recovery movement, and those whose memories simply never wandered far enough astray to need recovery.
  
  I am presently appalled at re-reading what I wrote, mocking unreasonable sarcasm.
  
  Wow, How wrong I was. How wrong I was.
  
  It was a natural reaction though, considering that my memories were always mine, and I knew nothing about this travesty of "helping" women in particular to "recall" memories of incest. I cannot imagine the horror of having to face myself or the world after such claims must be retracted. The damage is done. It is not like stealing a cookie and a simple apology will do.
  
  Peoples lives were stolen in as devastating manner as a true incest victim. I want to say, perhaps worse for the victims and survivors of the memory recovery movement, but I try not to compare who has pain bigger or deeper or more traumatic. Pain is pain.
  
  THE SECRET TRAUMA INTRODUCTION TO THE 1999 EDITION THE GREAT INCEST WAR: MOVING BEYOND POLARIZATION  by Diana Russell
  
  And now my most ignorant rant ever. Try to read it in an attempt to see, not only my obstructed view, but also as a shining example of the damage contempt prior to investigation can cause.
  
  
  I will not repeat this mistake.
  
   We can have facts without thinking but we cannot have thinking without facts.
  John Dewey (1859 - 1952)  
  Let us take things as we find them: let us not attempt to distort them into what they are not. We cannot make facts. All our wishing cannot change them. We must use them.
  John Henry Cardinal Newman (1801 - 1890)

  
  
  It is inconceivable to me that one of my sister's said just this week that it was too bad therapists messed me up by putting false memories of incest and abuse in my head.
  
  I laughed almost until I cried at the insanity that would allow that thought to dwell in this woman, let alone, come out.
  
  Had she said it to me, I would grab her by the shoulders and do what my father did to me that night when I was 16, and ask, "Did a therapist put that memory in your head?"
  
  I would also ask, "Will you and your body shudder at that memory for the rest of your life?"
  
  Well, she had to put the blame someplace, for a lot of years the blame was squarely on my shoulders. Thank heaven's she's lightened up. I think it may be her way of excusing my "bad behavior" so she can tolerate me in her presence.
  
  It is something after all, providing I accept her terms.
  
  But I will not. My memories are mine.
  
  The only time I ever remember a therapist trying to implant a false memory in my head was one who exclaimed, "Oh that poor woman." when I said she gave birth to twenty babies.
  
  I cannot imagine the incredible agony Mother endured, spending her life broken and bent to feed and clothe children she had never wanted.
  
  Still, my answer to the therapist was quick and definite.
  
  "Don't ever say anything like that again." You see, I needed to heal from her motherhood, not feel sorry for her. Now healed I have compassion for her plight, nothing more.
  
  So the idea that a therapist put in my head that five male members of my family made an attempt or accomplished incest/assault on me before the age of sixteen is pretty appalling.
  
  Was I that stupid, needy, twisted, cruel, or gullible to accept the implant of such horrendous events? Say nothing about the twisted mind of the licensed psychologist.
  
  Another point to be made: Why was I in a psychologists office before the age of five? Was I born defective?
  
  If I were that twisted and did accept the implanted memories as my own, what created the person I was who would give up my life to live in agony because an incompetent psychologist created my life for me?
  
  Another point, after the first psychologist destroyed my carefree world on a whim, why did the succession of 5 mental hospitals and eons of therapists, always get her version of my memories over thirty five years? Had she implanted her sick twisted story in my mind so deeply that I was forced not only to live it, breathe it, smell it, see it hear it but also repeat it in detail to countless therapists?
  
  And where was I when this magnificent implant took place? Under a spell? Under a rock? Hypnotized? Perhaps I was sitting in a straight-backed chair under a naked bright light, hungry, thirsty, tired, and afraid for my life.
  
  "No, please don't tickle my feet anymore. I'll pee my pants and my nice new crinoline skirt will be ruined."
  
  "You agree to accept my interpretation of your childhood as I have explained it? You agree to live as though it really happened, depression, psychosis, alcoholism, chocolate addiction, isolation, insanity, inability to give or receive love, as long as you live?"
  
  "I swear, I swear! Only please let me use the bathroom!"
  
  Yes, another unwilling victim of the evil incest memory implantation forces. Soon there will be no person on earth who remember a life without incest. None who recall the joy and freedom of childhood without the taint of incest playing about their brain.
  
  Ludicrous? Yes. But no more so than the idea children give up their entire lives on the whim of a stranger who is also a professional in the helping field.
  
  I believe it is a last desperate attempt to hold on to the idea that incest does not happen, not in MY family anyway.
  
  I will research for information from professionals on this topic.
  
  
  
  • Tags:
  • incest recovery move
  • incest memories
  • false memories
  • retracted memories
  • incestuous
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