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Megan Cyrulewski has been writing short stories ever since she was ten-years-old. After attending Grand Valley State University, Megan eventually settled into a career in the non-profit sector for eight years. She decided to change careers and went back to school to get her law degree from Thomas M. Cooley Law School. While in school, she documented her divorce, child custody battle and postpartum depression struggles in her memoir which is slated to be published on August 2 by Black Opal Books. Megan lives in Michigan with her 3-year-old daughter who loves to dance, run, read, and snuggle time with Mommy. Megan also enjoys her volunteer work as a Board Member with Troy Youth Assistance, a non-profit in Troy, MI.
In our HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series, we shine the light on challenges that community members have shared with me. This episode is, “How do I let go of my anger?”
What is anger? What constitutes “a problem” with it? Is it possible to let it go (and let it fly or float away forever)? Or, do we have anger with us for the rest of our lives no matter what we do? Anger is derived from pain. When we experience searing pain our lives, how are we supposed to respond? Do we simply become numb (yet no longer angry) or do we remain emotional, reactionary and animated by our anger?
We discuss the “pain Olympics” wherein we always lose out on trying to make people acknowledge that our individual anger and underlying pain is “worse” (or better depending on how you look at it) than that of others. The person who loses a pet, who loses a loved family member, who experiences a tragedy, who is a victim of a war or genocide; they all have an argument that their pain is “worth more” than what other people have experienced. Yet, this is one of the most negative actions to undertake in terms of poor outcomes.
No cares about me. How can the world continue on while I suffer like this? These may be accurate sentiments. The world will continue on no matter how much pain (and resulting anger) we experience. I would ask you to think about your legacy. What will you be remembered for? Will it be your anger? How does that impact you? It is not easy to find a healthy way to move forward with anger, yet it might be possible. What do we have to lose in finding out?
“No love from my daddy cause the coward wasn't there
He passed away and I didn't cry, cause my anger wouldn't let me feel for a stranger
They say I'm wrong and I'm heartless,
but all along I was lookin for a father he was gone” - Tupac Shakur
In our HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series, we shine the light on challenges that community members have shared with me. This episode is, “How do I pick “the right” college for my first degree?”
If you are new to your first college degree, in general (from a US perspective), degrees are awarded based on completed credit hours. One credit hour is based on one class hour per week throughout the duration of a semester. So, a class that meets for three hours per week for an entire term will be worth three credit hours upon successful completion. An associate degree is roughly 60 credit hours. A bachelors degree is 120 credit hours. Thus, to earn a bachelors degree would take 40 different three credit classes (which is why it takes several years to graduate). So, what is “the right college” for your first college degree (associate or bachelor)?
“Why are you going to college?” If you are not at all concerned with financial issues (more income, promotions, more job opportunities, etc.) and are only motivated by personal enjoyment/ enlightenment concerns, select your college based on your interests. If you want to really learn about botany, study botany! If you are primarily motivated by financial concerns, select your “right college” based on going to the highest caliber (“best”) school that you are able to gain admission to (if it was easy, everyone would do it).
Here are some potential resources to utilize:
In our HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series, we shine the light on challenges that community members have shared with me. This episode is, “My boss hates me, what do I do? How can I save my job?”
Feeling like anyone hates you can be stressful! We immediately think, “I am awesome! How does anyone hate me?” Yet, with the diversity of the human population there are going to be some people in life who just do not find us appealing. But, what do we do when the person who is not fond of us (okay, they hate us) is our boss? Will they be able to provide fair evaluations of your work? Will we be treated fairly and judged only on our work performance or will we be unable to succeed due to the boss making decisions solely on their personal hatred for us?
It is illegal in many nations (including the US) for an employer to make work decisions based on personal attributes (and their feelings, stereotypes or prejudices related thereto). Thus, if your boss really does hate you (first make sure that it is not just your imagination), and it is based on one of the “protected classes” (race, color, gender, national origin, religion, age over 40, disability, pregnancy, etc.), you may have a legal case. Please consult an attorney immediately! Make sure that you are performing at a very high level at work (do not give the boss a reason to make an adverse workplace decision based on your actual performance).
If the hatred is not based on a protected class but is instead based on your “attitude” or some other non-related trait to a protected class, you might want to consider a strategic approach to change how the boss views you. What makes people “like” someone? When they feel they are like them (similar interests, ideas, sense of humor, etc.). It is possible to change how people people perceive us by reflecting back to them how they see themselves. Let’s discuss!
In our HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series, we shine the light on challenges that community members have shared with me. This episode is, “I do my job and their job! Am I a SUPERSTAR or a SUCKER?!”
Are you a SUPERSTAR (the best, an overachiever, etc.)? Or, are you someone that is being taken advantage of (a “SUCKER”)? What is the difference? A Superstar is measured by their results (higher/ better/ more/ compared to their peers) and is an overachiever. An overachiever is achieving over and above their peers (early promotion, bigger pay raise, awards, recognition, etc.). The key is the achieving aspect. They have results at work that are more than their peers (more pay, bigger office, better schedule, rewards, etc.).
If you are salesperson of the month every month (with the highest commissions in the office) and you love it, you might be a superstar! If you are paid equal to (or less than) your peers, your reviews are average and you are toiling away in obscurity (no promotion, no raise, etc.), you are not a superstar but instead are a “sucker” (your peers are taking advantage of you). It is simple to tell the difference between the Superstar and the Sucker because the Superstar is achieving more than their peers and the Sucker is not (they are receiving equal to or even less than their peers). If you are a Superstar, congratulations! I have shows and programs on burnout and celebrating success (among others) that I recommend for you. You are exceeding your goals! Remember to be of service to others and work on balance in your life.
If you are a Sucker, I am sorry. I will also add that your supervisor is poorly skilled for permitting this to happen (yet you are responsible for permitting it to continue). I have shows and programs on assertiveness and confidence (among others) that I recommend for you. Right now, let’s talk and see how we can transform you into a Superstar!
Tonight we are talking about how you tell your partner when you have a problem.... How do you communicate when there are issues that concern you in the relationship? Ego's can get in the way but can you calmly and respectfully discuss the conflict until you reach a mutual agreement? What are the skills required to negoitiate with a partner? How do you have difficult conversations?
You've tried to avoid fighting because you know that it doesn't really solve anything. But you get so upset by the way your spouse treats you, or ignores you, that you can't help yourself. Besides, even if you wanted to solve your problems calmly and respectfully, you wouldn't have a negotiating partner. Your spouse only takes you seriously when you're screaming. Otherwise your problems are swept under the rug and never discussed. Does that describe your situation?
Let's talk about it
3479457556 or ask questions in the chatroom
Connect with Ebony @ http://www.ebonyempresstv.com
Ok, where to start with this one? Romance, African in the same sentence??? Apparently, it's the heart's cry of some folks in relationships or marriages with Africans. It's Soccer Season now, FIFA 2014 and some men think the idea of a romantic night is hanging out watching 22 men chase a leather ball around the field for 90 minutes while shouting at their televisions and sending texts or posts on social networks expressing their views on certain shots/moves the players on the field.
While the women's idea could range from the man buying them gift items. Buying a house or "Buiilding" a car kinda tinz seem to trip the ladies. Or for some, just being a homely girl, home body, let's just chill and cuddle kinda tinz.
Abeg, please help!!
For those who know a thing a two about Romance, help our Brothers and Sisters out please.
We all could learn a thing or two. Let's swap tales....
Dr. Bessie from the Mother and Daughter Faith Trust Ministries talks about, The Perfect Recipe for any Mother and Daughter Relationship? Check us out at: www.mdbn.org
Finding the right price can be such a struggle.
In fact, I talk about pricing with clients more than just about any other topic. Most healers, coaches and teachers struggle to set prices that are just right - prices that support the life they want AND serve the people they want to work with.
Join me for this podcast with fellow master coach, Susan Hyatt, to talk all about setting the right price for you and for your business. You are going to LOVE this!!
Susan Hyatt is Master Certified in an elite coaching style developed by Dr. Martha Beck, a life coach to the Oprah Show and O, The Oprah Magazine columnist. Through innovative coaching techniques, clients are able to identify goals, remove obstacles, and design their ideal lives.
Susan is a member of O, The Oprah Magazine's "Life Improvement Team" for the current year, to be featured in the magazine, on Oprah.com, and on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN).
Susan is the author of “Create Your Own Luck: Seven Steps to get Your Lucky On” and "Jacked Up on Greens." Susan is the creator and host of Life is Delicious TV.
Learn more about Susan at http://shyatt.com