Misstepping, and All Tangled up, The Thirteenth Step

Tangled

The Twelve and Twelve says “To think of liking lust seems impossible. But how many men and women speak love with their lips, and believe what they say, so that they can hide lust in a dark corner of their minds? And even while staying within conventional bounds, many people have to admit that their imaginary sex excursions are apt to be all dressed up as dreams of romance”.

Step Thirteen is euphemistically addressed by members in recover as when someone with long term sobriety has sexual designs and takes advantage of a new comer’s vulnerability and engage inappropriate romantic entanglements

My first sponsor Kevin passed some sage advice, make of it what you will

Looking for a mate in the rooms of A.A. was like looking for Olympic hopefuls in a polio ward

under every skirt was a slip

That the odds were good, but that the goods were odd

Women are particularly vulnerable, but this phenomenon is not exclusive, men are also at risk.

We have found that people in recovery have a higher I.Q than the average so it would stand to reason that they also have very strong libidos. The years of addiction have produced little or no inhibitions and morality has taken a back seat to gratification.

New comers are used to being validated sexually by the opposite sex. We come into the rooms of recovery sick and wounded people easy prey to the unscrupulous. A romantic diversion comes with the promise of a momentary relief from the pain of mind, body, and spirit. It also distracts us from the work of recovery. Many a new comer has fallen into this trap which in turn has stunted their growth and some have even died because of it.

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