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Dr. Thomas Keister

http://www.freereinmedia.com


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Language: English

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Probably Uncalled For...  

Why Talk Radio Was Invented. Hosted by author/syndicated columnist Dr. Thomas Keister and "The Internet Legend," ppdingles, the show takes an often cynical look at the best, the worst, and the least damn surprising of the week you're amazed you've only made it halfway through. Current events, politics, entertainment, pop culture, we discuss all the crap getting beamed into space to state the case we're an intelligent species. Yeah...we're boned...

  • Archived Blog Post

    Date / Time:

    10 things we hate about Eric "Rage, The Franchise, The Southern Dandy, Faterique, The Souljah, Stay-


    a rare pic of Eric struggling to see his genitalia

    (photo courtesy of personal collection of Dr. Thomas Keister)

    Version 1.0
    the 1st of many edits to come soon...

    compiled by Dr. Thomas Keister & Darrell "ppdingles" Mays

    Introduction: Never before, in any of our travels (at least those we can fully remember) have we encountered such an individual like Eric Montgomery. Whether or not that's because God either hates us just enough, or He figures saying "gotcha" once is sufficient, who can say?

    The guy's an utter, massive, unforgiving and non-stopping joke set on 24-hour autopilot.

    This is offered up as a strictly satirical list of the many things we sat down and figured we hated about that ponderous bag of human excrement. Can't say how much is actually true, but if you ever met this douchebag, you'd settle up your own scorecard...

    10. That 33 pound head of his...Seriously. Honest-to-God, man, have you seen the f**king thing?...Looks like a dirty bowling ball with ears.

    9. His professional wrestling "fantasy life,"...Eric Montgomery is the shame of the industry. Not even Ian f**king Rotten holds less of a place of esteem or respect in this business, in our humble opinions, that this fat waste of human resources, Eric "Wage" Montgomery.


    (photo of Eric "Rage" Montgomery (on left) acting like a retarded kid with a sparkler stuck in the a** crack of his shorts at a 2002 World Wrestling Alliance event courtesy of personal collection of Dr. Thomas Keister)

    8. His sheer gluttony...Has a small Moon circling him....Like a black hole of suck! I remember, at one Classic Championship Wrestling event, Kliff Hanger, a in-ring performer, brought out a Taco Bell reciept, where this fat motherf**ker put away something like fifteen bucks worth of Taco f**king Bell!

    7. His iron grip on denial...One quote..."I never ever never ever never ever did anything to you, why you hating on me???"

    6. He's a Two-Face b**tard and not the Batman "Harvey Dent" kind of Two-Face either...And believe us, with a head that big, it's easy to have more than one face.....he has a face for every chin...never before have I ever seen someone so adept at trying to play both sides of a fence he can't even f**king climb...

    5. Just because. Did you think we needed all 10 f**king reasons?...look at him. He is beyond hope, repair, or salvation. I'd personally ask him (as I have on several occasions) to eat a f**king bullet and make the earth just that much better a place, but then he'd just start whining about how all his legions of imaginary friends and wrestling figures care about him, and yakity f**king yak...and then you kind of just wish a loose airplane part would cave in his skull at 750 MPH.

    4. His immaturity...23 or 24...still living with momma because the boy has never been able to keep a job...completely unable to support himself or even bathe himself.......needs help whipping his a** we hear......No car, never gonna be a car owner......Big Mac Daddy wannabe

    3. His creepy-a** momma...One quote...."Eric I need the phone" during our LIVE radio show....Talk about having your mom bust your a** out on LIVE radio...seriously, yo...that b**ch is out of it...her antenna is up, but she ain't getting all the channels. Like a character in an M. Night Shylamalan flick. Somebody oughta cut her f**king head off and bury it in the desert, they way it should have been done the day she found out she was carrying the fat, worthless antichrist.

    2. His speech impediment...Hi, I'm Erwic "Wage" Montgomory....Talks like a hairlip with a mouthful of unwashed c**k...a lot of unwashed c**k. Like he found an unwashed c**k buffet off the interstate somewhere. Like he likes his rocky mountain oysters so fresh they still have a trucker attached to them...something like that kind of speech impediment.

    1. His, ahem, "game," I think he calls it...Telling chicks what they want to hear but never showing them what he really looks like isn't being the Mac Daddy...It's called stalking and it's illegal in many if not all states. Then when they say NO cause No means NO ya know. They then became b**ches, whores and according to him hoes that he was just trying to be friendly with. And no, Eric...the strippers are NOT THAT INTO YOU!...they just want your allowance...

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