FEMA: Tired of all the jokes, now they come out swingin' golf clubs!

You would think after all that has happened after the last couple of years, the last thing FEMA would need is a refresher in customer service. FEMA housing inspector Vincent Koley, on the job in Cedar Rapids, Iowa for the recent flooding, got into a confrontation with a man at a cross walk, which led to Koley striking Tom Kramer with a golf club (breaking the club), after claiming "he didn't have to slow down, he was with FEMA," then forcing him on the hood of his car after several of Kramer's co-workers surrounded the vehicle to prevent him from leaving the scene. Koley, 74, was booked into the Jones County Jail, charged with assault with a dangerous weapon.

Damn. I mean, it's not just the arrogance involved with making the kind of statement like "I don't have to slow down, I'm with FEMA," but the slight inaccuracy. Koley is not with FEMA, but rather with Alltech, Inc., a housing inspection company working as a FEMA contractor. I guess Koley did have the power of creative license on his side. If someone fed me the following line of crap during a traffic-related confrontation (should that, in all unlikelihood, ever happen to me): "I don't have to slow down, I'm a sub-contractor," then said person, whether male, female, or 74 years old, had better by god have a golf club on them.

 

Although, in Koley's defense, he's not taking any s**t at 74. Still got a pretty good swing, too, judging by the broken golf club in his wake. Maybe I'm being just a bit ageist, or whatever the f**k the term is, but isn't this kind of what you get for keeping a 74 year old on the payroll? I mean, let's not kid ourselves here. Who the hell takes a golf club to a flood zone? If someone's gonna get sh**ty about your driving, what made you think they'd mind some of the FEMA catching a quick nine on the golf course, should it not be completely submerged?

 

Of course, I'm just...ahem...kidding here, should FEMA (or their sub-contractors) read this. Or, email ahead and let me know what club you plan on bringing...so I may make my club selection accordingly...