Probably Uncalled For...  

To the guy in Minnesota who tried to kill himself by diving headfirst into a wood chipper...first, don't you feel like an utter f**king stooge for managing to screw that up?, and second, seeing as how you are apparently that committed to ending it all (given the direction of this country, and the planet-at-large, it isn't like I can completely blame you. I mean, you live in Minnesota for starters, isn't that a reason in its own?), let me be among the first to say better luck next time. Schmuck.

Regarding the FDA's recent interest in the advertising practices of pharmaceutical companies...yawn. Maybe if the Food and Drug Administration would get up off their lazy a**es once in a damn while and actually evaluate some of the statements made not only by pharmaceutical firms, but all these fly-be-night energy drink/diet pill manufacturers, then the problem would not be waiting until the human guinea pig pool known as the American consumers start dropping off to figure out something just might be hinky about the drugs/pill/drink in question. If the FDA is so f**king worried about it, why don't they send the FCC into action? They'll just call the ads offensive because a talking bee flies against God's design (not that it would happen like that, but with the White House we have in charge, it would fail to surprise anyone).

If the most pressing issue in Britain currently is organized pillow fighting, then I finally have a solid, definitive answer as to why British police do not carry guns. I said it on the show Wednesday night, and it bears repeating- guess rather than tangle with those nasty pirates, I'm glad to see the United Kingdom found something a little more its speed.

Barbara and Rebecca Maykish are both a**hats, and it is my sincere hope that one day soon, not only will a judge throw one, or both, of their stupid a**es in jail, but that the public-at-large will quit buying into shady-a** crap like "school phobias." Otherwise, I feel for the taxpayers in California for this latest assault on the corpse of common f**king sense working on it's tan near Palmerton.

Maybe if the Tampa Bay Rays were willing to cough up $150 million for on-field talent, rather than a new stadium they not only do not need, but clearly and simply do not deserve. Have a winning season first. Just one. The first winning season in team history, then come back and start begging for a new ball field.

Kenny Chesney? Douchebag. Don't care what his problem is, don't buy his explanation of why he decided to s**t all over the Academy of Country Music or the fans who voted him Entertainer of the Year. For a guy with the cowboy hat and big-a** belt buckle, it is kind of funny to see that in the final wind-up, he's just another "diva." Can't wait for his career to stall to see how many fans he's got left when he's forced back to the bar circuit (or in all likelihood, the reality show circuit).

Normally, we here at the show are not ones to crow much about who is or isn't getting money from the Department of Homeland Security, as the whole concept of Homesec is bulls**t, but the city of LaCrosse, Wisconsin has softened us just a bit. Nobody in the city managed to notice a 5-foot tall, 700 pound anchor missing from in front of the former Naval Reserve Station, despite it sitting in a high traffic area of town. After reporting the anchor stolen this last Monday, the city was informed by the U.S. Navy that it was not, in fact, stolen. The Navy had simply put it in storage after closing the center. The city will get the anchor back, if they want (if they would even notice it was back), but this story clearly illustrates how unprepared the city of LaCrosse, Wisconsin is, should a terror cell ever determine there was anything in the entire state of Wisconsin worth attacking. Send them some dough, help them protect that anchor. It's completely unnecessary at this point, but the people of this country have grown used to that by now.

To follow up, Blog Talk Radio found the remaining 50-something minutes of our May 13 broadcast, and the entire show is now available for listening in our archives on our Blog Talk Radio homepage. We here at the show thank Blog Talk Radio and John Sweet for their prompt attention on the matter.

Thanks to everyone who made the move to Wednesday nights with us, and we hope to see you back next week for another all-new Probably Uncalled For.