Probably Uncalled For...  

So, Britney Spears' new album, the ironically titled Blackout, will debut at #1 on the Billboard charts this week, bumping Carrie Underwood from the top spot. People seem surprised, but I'll be anxious to see the sales numbers, so I can see how many copies the label ponied up for to try and make it look like not only a hit, but a successful comeback. Something tells me it won't work by this point. Maybe if she flashed some vag on the CD cover...

F*** Barry Bonds. I know I'm not the first to say it, I know I won't be the last, but still, f*** Barry Bonds. The solution to his dilemma regarding the * ball going to Cooperstown is simple- don't elect the mook to the Hall of Fame. You guys wanna question Mark McGwire, but Barry Bonds is going to the Hall of Fame? It's an absolute outrage. Yeah, don't show up for your own induction. Doubt anybody will notice much, or care, in the long run. Jerk.

Duane Chapman, the 54-year-old also known as "Dog the Bounty Hunter," has apologized for his recent remarks, which helpfully ended up on audio released by the National Enquirer. In the tape, Chapman is berating his son for his involvement with a black woman, threatening to fire him if he didn't call it off. Mighty white of you, Dog. Could we expect anything less from the guy with history's greatest mullet? The amazing part about the taped conversation, powered by Chapman's apparent fondness for the N-bomb, is that Chapman himself expresses concern that his son's girlfriend would become "offended" by the remarks, tape them and release them, although nobody knows who leaked the tape to the media. Wow. You mean you don't know who did it? F***ing seriously? And you, um, catch people for a living? Thank god the show isn't called Dog the Master of the Stunningly F***ing Obvious, people may not be able to keep up. Not surprisingly, A&E has suspended Chapman pending an investigation.