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http://www.PlayingDevilsAdvocate.net
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PDA is socially known as Public Displays of Affection. It can be shocking and gritty or subtle and classy. On this show, Ms. KiKi is all about shock, grit, subtlety and class as she delivers her humorous, edgy take on life, love and relationships by her own rules, by Playing Devil’s Advocate (PDA). Ms. KiKi gives it to you straight by publicly displaying her affection with real world talk that will have you laughing, crying and challenging social themes while keeping your mental gears in check. Playing Devil’s Advocate (PDA) Uncensored, Unscripted, UNAPOLOGETIC!!!
Date / Time: 7/30/2009 6:29 AM UTC
Types of Frenemies:
Secret Hater...
Constantly discourages you
Known as a cockblocker
If I wasn’t me…I’d be you...
Copies everything you do
Wants to be you
Push me, I push you
Always competing with you
Has to one-up you
If you mention you want something, they get it first
I love you, I hate you...
Single White Female
Jealous
Territorial
Ulterior Motive/Convenient
Only your friend when it benefits them
Only your friend when things are good
Friends with you because you're connected
How to spot a Frenemy:
When NONE of your other friends or family likes this person for no specific reason (everyone can't be wrong!) When your friend has no other friends but YOU When you constantly hear negative, unsolicited information from unrelated sources (from people who have no axe to grind) When your friend always falls out with their longtime or good friends & it’s ALWAYS the other person’s fault Friend Commandments:
Friend Commandments:
1. Play Fair In Matters of the Heart >>>>Never try to talk to someone that your friend is trying to talk to (let that other person decide who they want)! >>>>NEVER date, sleep with or make friends with your friend's Ex!
2. Just Friends, means JUST FRIENDS!!! >>>>If you have a platonic friend of the opposite sex...KEEP IT THAT WAY! Don't ruin your friendship in a moment of carnal weakness!
3. Don't Sell Out Your Friend >>>>Never say anything about your friend to a 3rd party that you would not say to your friend! >>>>Never allow anyone else to talk bad about your friend, especially if they are not present!
4. ALWAYS check with your friend first! >>>>Never jump to conclusions >>>>Be fair >>>>Treat your friend like you want to be treated
5. Your Word Is Your Bond >>>>Never lie to your friend >>>>If you don't want to lie, politely change the subject >>>>Never make promises you can't keep >>>>If you will lie, you'll steal-DON'T STEAL!!!
6. Don't Tally Up >>>>Never throw up your deeds in your friend's face >>>>Never measure your friendship in deeds
7. Don't Expect Perfection >>>>Accept your friend as they are >>>>Support them in their life journey & difficult transitions (everyone doesn't get it at the same time) >>>>Challenge them to be better people in spite of themselves
8. Don't Let Issues Fester >>>>If you have a beef, speak on it! >>>>Try not to speak when emotional (you make them defensive & issue never gets resolved) >>>>Respect & trust your friendship enough to have those uncomfortable conversations!
9. Create Your Own Specific Commandments with Your Friends >>>>Recognize that every person and friendship is different >>>>Never assume your friend believes what you believe & their priorities are your priorities! >>>>Respect their perspective, even if you don't agree
10. Heed Commandments 1 thru 9
Listener Emails...
Dear Ms. Kiki,
My associate and I have known each other since our freshman year at college. We’ve fell out a few times usually because I felt like there was a constant unspoken competition between us. She never seemed to enjoy sharing in my good news, only my bad news. Whenever we went out and I got more attention than her, she would immediately get an attitude and want to leave. She was never really supportive of my endeavors and only spoke of them when they failed. I, however was very supportive of her, loaned her money when she needed it and even drove her around when she needed a ride because she did not know how to drive. After a while we stopped talking to each other. I thought that was the last I’d see of her until I had a sudden tragedy in my family and needed someone to lean her right away. I didn’t know who else to call so I called her. And she was there throughout the entire thing. I have never forgotten that because she came through when no one else did.
The reason why I am contacting you today is because about two years ago I relocated to another city. Before I left, she volunteered to keep some of my personal items in her storage unit – leather jackets, shoes, clothes (new), a computer and two TVs. She volunteered to ride the 2000 plus miles shotgun during my move however, she was not too pleased when I landed a job the very next day after we arrived. Once she got back home, the agreement was I would send her money for her to send me my things. The only thing she sent me from the unit was my computer. I have asked her time and time again where my other items were and how much I needed to send her as I was not looking forward to re-buying them and she would always dodge the question. I feel as if she stole from me and thievery is something I find hard to forgive. However, I am torn because she was there for me during my family tragedy. We have recently began communicating again. Should I continue with this friendship? Or gracefully bow out?
Signed,
Frenemies or Enemies?
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