Our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy have changed. We think you'll like them better this way.

Pathways4Parents

Dr. Phil Advice (read more by visiting http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/48)

The idea behind parental discipline is to ultimately create self-discipline within your child. That means the kid has to learn something -- your value system and the difference between right and wrong -- that will guide him or her throughout life.

So what do kids learn from being spanked? The hitting itself doesn't teach them anything. Whether you believe in physical punishment or not, Dr. Phil has some disciplining tips and alternatives to spanking:

  • Don't take out your frustrations while spanking. Ask yourself if the spanking is truly warranted because of the child's behavior, or whether it's an excuse for you to have an adult temper tantrum? Are you more prone to spank when you are in a bad mood?

  • There needs to be a sense of calmness and order in the house. If you are spanking your kid for being physical and chaotic, aren't you adding to the physical chaos by being physical and violent with your child? What are you teaching them?

  • Make a commitment to your child's discipline. You have to do what you say you're going to do. Consequences should be highly predictable for your child.

  • Define your child's currency. What does he/she value? You can withdraw a positive (take away a favorite toy) or introduce a negative (giving a time-out) event -- but be consistent.

  • Develop a child-level logic. For example, kids know that you are less likely to discipline them in public, so that's where they'll act out.

  • When you have a confrontation with your kid -- don't ever lose! They will miss out on the opportunity to learn an important lesson if you cave in and let them get away with a behavior that is unacceptable.

  • Two things you should NEVER say to your child if you want him/her to behave are: "I'll give you something to cry about," and "Wait until your father gets home." Children can see through idle threats and will eventually ignore them. They will also take advantage of the fact that one parent doesn't want to deal with doling out the discipline and tries to hand it over to the other parent.

  • Negotiate a disciplinary plan with your spouse in calm waters. Calm parents make calm children.


    1. Today's Best
    2. Top Shows
    3. Best of BTR
      1. Loading

        The Diva Cupcake

        My Neck, My Back, My Netflix and My Snacks

      2. The Challenges NFL Players Face

        The Challenges NFL Players Face Changing Positions, Scheme

      3. Weird News With A Comedy Twist

        Join Jeff Adams, Denny Khane, Chris Fisher, and Kris Cruz as they talk current events and what happen over the weekend!

      4. Goodbye, Sábado Gigante

        The variety TV show Sábado Gigante will end his record-breaking 53-year run on the air come September. Here, José Manuel Simián and Marcelo Báez discuss the impact of the Sábado Gigante on Latino pop culture, and interview blogger Laura Martínez and former member of the show's Clan Infantil, Paz Zárate.

      5. Sloppy Interviews, How Not To Suck

        This episode covers sloppy interviews, begging for content, inappropriate guests, being a clone, and long ads.

      6. Vivid Girl's Next Door

        Premiere of the new "GIRL NEXT DOOR" Segment, which will run every Monday. Tony will get an exclusive interview with a different VIVID Girl each week, asking them questions that you just won't hear anywhere else.

      7. Proactively Preventing Suicide

        Timothy Lawsona student at American University, a Marine Corps veteran and a survivor of his own suicide attempt.

      8. Jonestown: "Don't Drink the Kool-Aid"

        November 18, 1978, was a tragically unprecedented day in U.S. history that will forever be woven into the fabric of this country.

      9. $220 Ml Dollar ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

        The Mom Behind the $220 Million Dollar ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

      10. The Le'Veon Bell Effect

        Fantasy Football: The Le'Veon Bell effect and other news and notes.

      11. NBA Playoffs

        We are talking NBA Playoffs as the Warriors, Wizards & Cavs all sweep. Can the Cavs win next round vs Bulls without Kevin Love?

      12. Be Your Own Roll Model

        Jill Miller is one of the world's leading experts on yoga, massage, and pain management. She is the industry's go-to person for everything from chronic pain, to mobility limitations, to improving performance.

      13. The Evolution of Warriors

        Dr. Joyce Benenson: How the evolution of male warriors/female worriers drives us.

      14. Triple Creek Ranch

        This week, the Peter Greenberg Worldwide Radio Show airs from western Montana. We’re at Triple Creek Ranch, just outside of Darby.

      15. Mayo Clinic Radio Health Minute

        In this Mayo Clinic Radio Health Minute, as a child, cancer claimed part of Shanna Decker's leg, but not her desire to succeed or to help others.

      16. Senator Mike Lee and Ben Shapiro

        Utah Senator Mike Lee & NY Times bestselling author and editor-at-large for Breitbart News Ben Shapiro will be here to discuss all the latest political news. Two powerful conservative voices on one show.

      1. Loading

        Small Business Unstuck

        Host Barry Moltz gets small businesses unstuck. He has founded and run small businesses with a great deal of success and failure for more than 15 years. This is a business radio show where he shares all the craziness of small business. It’s that craziness that actually makes it exciting, interesting and totally unpredictable.

      2. America's Most Haunted

        Official Internet radio show of forthcoming epic paranormal investigation book by Eric Olsen and "Haunted Housewife" Theresa Argie.