NuFFSaiD Radio with your host Tom England  

 Friday, July 25, 2008
 1:11:59 AM




Chances are, you've been in this situation. Or, if you're too goody-goody to admit it, you've had a "friend" who was in the same situation. It's nothing to be ashamed of, either way. It's not something you want to share at the Thanksgiving dinner table with all your relatives either, but at one point or another, the majority of us have had a one-night stand. Whether it be a drunken blur from a fraternity party or a flirtation from across the bar that went a bit too far, and you wake up to find yourself next to someone that looked a lot better ten shots ago, you find yourself in the ultimate of awkward situations. Don't lose your cool, whatever you do, and just follow the following set of guidelines which will help you get through this moment.

1) Don't get on your cell phone while you get dressed in front of them and tell your friends that you're "in some random person's room and can't remember how crazy last night was." Save the gossip for when you have left and are well under way.

2) Don't ask them "how you were" last night. Chances are, they probably don't remember. And if they do, they will say something about it.

3) If you happen to wake up in their house and find yourself heading down the "Walk of Shame", don't act embarassed or ashamed. Simply roll your eyes, act like you couldn't care less, and walk out with your head straight up in the air. You have nothing to be ashamed about.

4) If you don't remember their name, don't ask them what it is. That will look very bad on your part. See if they remembers yours first. That's a true indicator as to how much interest they really have in you

5) If they invite you for breakfast or to hang out, even if you really want to, thank them but turn down the offer. If they have any real interest in you, they will try to set up a future date with you. Besides, do you really want to sit across from the table from them in broad daylight with last night's makeup still caked on?

6) If possible, try to leave before they wake up. It will make you that much more mysterious. And if they really like you, they'll attempt to find you. They'll ask around, maybe go again to the same diner or bar that you met at, and they'll look for you. People will go to great lengths for a person they really view as worth the effort.

7) Don't offer to leave your number or ask them to call you. When people want something, they will get it themselves. If they have any intention of calling you, they will ask that you write down your number before you leave. Obviously if you say to them, "Do you want my number?" they're going to feel bad if they say no, so anyone would feel the safer choice would be to have you write down your digits, and then they just go straight into the trashcan. And you will be waiting by the phone for a call that will never come!

8) Don't attempt to engage them in conversation. Not all people are morning people, and having a conversation with a stranger you just woke up next to can be one of the strangest and most uncomfortable experiences. If you find that they're answering you in mono-syllables, that's your indicator right there that they just don't want to talk. And if you feel that you just must chat with them, don't mention the hook-up, the future, or anything touchy in that aspect. You'll only make them that much more eager to have you leave.

9) Don't overstay your welcome. You wake up, look at the clock, and you should already be glancing around the room, eyeing your belongings. Don't wait around in bed, especially after they get up. Don't hang out while they take a shower either. When the person leaves the room to take their shower, they secretly are hoping that you will leave during that period of time. Unless they specifically indicate that they would like you to stick around, don't assume. Another indicator of them wanting you to stay would be if they actually invited you to shower with them. I still say you should leave, even when offered the invite. You don't want to seem too clingy or eager. Plus, that shower could be just another hormone-filled excuse so they can score an extra morning session before they start their day.

10) Don't give them the whole "I've never done this before" routine. That will just make them more likely to think of this as a repeat occurrence for you. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone. You know in your heart whether or not this is in your nature, and it can be your little secret. No one needs to know how many strangers you've gone home with on multiple occasions. You should feel free to forget that number too, if you like. And if they ask you if you've done this before, simply say, "It's not normally my nature," give them a smile, and change the subject. NuFF SaiD.