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MZGLORIA

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Mz.Gloria World of Love & Poetry  

Time and Life is so very precious...take nothing or no one for granted...tell EVERYONE who means something to you...THAT YOU CARE! Please remember to pass kindness onto all who may cross your path, be it family, friends, loved ones or strangers.....for you may not know just how much of a difference you can make in someones life...please do that for me! A SMILE costs you nothing, but creates much with it's lasting effects. It enriches those who receive it, without impoverishing those who give it. Also Check out BIGGREDD11 on blackplanet.com leave a comment please!

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    HANDLING GRIEF OF A LOVED ONE

    Handling Your Grief Of Your Loved One
     
    Grief is something that we all will experience at one time or another during our lifetime.
     
     The verb to bereave means to rob, or to leave desolate, and bereavement usually refers to the experiences
    Which people have when they have lost, through death, someone who is important to them. 
    You the Family, Friends, have truly lost a
    Good man or woman!


    For many of you the pain may never completely depart; rather it becomes a part of who you are, t    ucked away in a corner somewhere in the deep recesses of your hearts.
    There it remains at a constant
    Low level ache, which with time may never be over ridden.
     
    When a person experiences the loss of someone they truly love, they are forced to deal with grief. When a loss occurs, most of us are unprepared for how to handle it, especially if they have never had to deal with it before. Even if you have, it is still traumatic each time. The death of someone close can be a
    life-changing experience.     An understanding of grief will cause you to realize that it is more focused on loss than on death. 
    The process of accepting the unacceptable is what grieving is all about.     This is why grief is so different for each individual. 
    When a loved one dies, no two individuals will experience the same losses in the same manner even if the relationship might be identical. 
     
    The true value of understanding the many facets of the grief cycle is not so much in knowing how to get through
    The variety of emotions that come with your loss as it is in knowing that these feelings are acceptable.

     Some of you have not allowed yourselves to truly grieve over the suddenly and unexpectedly immeasurable death
    Of your beloved loved one. I speak from experience and
    I am guilty of this, many may hold it in, only to have it negatively affect you for the rest of your lives. Some of you tend to wallow in your grief for too long, unable to adjust, still in search of answers. You must also realize that no one can tell any of you when to stop grieving. 
     
    Although the grieving process is different for each of you, it is imperative that grief be worked through so that 
    You all can come out on the other side of it and get on with your lives. Life does go on, so you may as well live it
    To the fullest when all is said and done.
     
    I want so much to help you all deal with your grief by helping many to recognize it, understand it, accept it and work through it. You all need to allow yourselves time to grieve because it is an important aspect in the healing process. Working through your grief isn't always easy, and each of you must work through it in your own time. You have to stop keeping everything bottled up and talk with others about what has happened and how you feel about it. This is really important! You will feel more better the more we talk about it even though it may seem hard at times. When you do share your feelings with others especially with those who understand, chances are you will realize that you are not the only one who's feeling upset.The shock, the numbness and the disbelief you all may be feeling is very normal.
    Also normal are your symptoms of anxiety, your crying, your anger. You have to feel the feelings and work through them, your grief will lessen,and in time fade.
     
    Steps you will need to go through to HEAL:
     
    Focus is going to be a key word when it comes to finding healing from grief.  If you can focus on the fact that your loved one is experiencing great joy in heaven with The Father of All and is not feeling anymore hurt and pain of this earth, it will be much easier to experience happiness in their absence.
    F    ocusing on others who need you and becoming involved in caring for them can be very helpful. 

      1) You must accept the reality of your loss. You must talk about the loss until you accept it. The more you talk about it, the more you will realize that the loss is real--that your loved one is really gone and will not come back.


    2) You must allow yourselves to experience the pain of grief. In any loss, you must accept the painful reality and finality of the loss. If you don't, your grief will keep resurfacing throughout your life and interfere with a healthy emotional state of being. You have to feel the pain. You can't as much as you may want to, avoid the pain.     It will hurt. You will feel awful. But this pain must be felt in order for you to work through the pain and heal.
    If you push the pain away and refuse to feel it, it will fester for years and affect your entire future.
     
    3) You must learn to adjust to an environment in which your loved one is missing. You have to return to hold on to
    and cherish your memories of your special loved one.  You have to encounter each aspect of your life without them.
    It will be hard but you must keep going on with your lives. You can't withdraw from the world.
     
    4) Finally, after you have grieved all you need to grieve, you have to begin to withdraw emotional energy that you are investing in your grieving and the focus you have on your loss,and invest it in new relationships of your lives.


    Please know that you can't let yourselves grieve for too long. 
    You all have the strength to overcome. Let the tears come out if necessary! It is important to remember that grieving is a process. You must emotionally work through each of the grief stages effectively, and you must overcome your fear of grief.  
    It is not a sign of weakness to grieve.     Grief is one of the most universal human emotions - and one of the most isolating. All the world may love a mother, father, sister, brother, child, lover, friend, but few of you know how to honor grief how to be with a grieving person, or how to handle your own grief. Sometimes grief is overwhelming: how can life possibly go on! Sometimes, though, grief is much less severe. Perhaps life has been so hard that survivors really feel death is a release. Perhaps faith in an afterlife helps. Perhaps the survivor has learned from a prior experience. Grieving is the mark of having been close to another person. The only way to avoid grieving is to avoid having loved.

    Each person grieves in their own way, according to their own needs. There is no formula for grief, and no way around it. Like other emotions, grief is simply there, like love, joy, anger, or fear. As with other emotions, you can not wish grief away, nor can you avoid it. Some of you may try to ignore grief, or pretend it does not exist, but eventually you will feel it. Grief, like death, is hard to discuss. Unlike other emotions that you have grown comfortable expressing or describing, you have no ready words for grief or bereavement. When you are happy, you can say you are on top of the world, flying high, on cloud nine. You can use clichés for anger, too, and say someone has had it up to here, see red, or blow their top. Grief has no such expression. But grief has a range of accompanying feelings: anger, loneliness, depression, guilt, relief, sorrow, fear, anxiety and frustration.
    In the midst of grief, you may swing from one emotion to the next, unprepared for the strength of your feelings and uncertain what to make of them.

    Grief is a country we all must visit, and it helps to know what it’s like there, how others have survived the journey,    the maps they followed, the setbacks, and what they learned along the way. These words describes the grief that comes with dying and death. I have talked about the changing nature of grief, and how grief it can occur many times in the course of life, both before and after the death of someone you love. I offer you suggestions on how to live through grief,  and how to cope during difficult times, such as holidays, birthdays, and other anniversary dates.
    I have described some problems that can occur when grief is overwhelming, and where to turn when you need help....turn to someone who can understand what you are going through.
    You must give yourselves permission to grieve for as long as necessary.

    Again, It will take some of you longer than others, so you can't be to hard on yourselves if you have to grieve longer than you think you should. An old saying is, "When you get sick of tired of being sick and tired, you will do what is necessary in order to heal.    " When you are ready, you will do your grief work. 
    Please remember this and hold on to it....YOU ARE NOT ALONE 
    For You Are Truly Loved!
    Please pass this on to all that you may feel
    may benefit from my words.
    From My Heart To Yours!
    Gloria

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