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Michael Brown

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The U.N., however, blasted back at the couple after only mere hours of deliberation. In a statement released early this morning Senior chairmen of the UN’s Committee Against Torture dismissed the couple’s plea entirely.

“The sense of entitlement these people displayed is reprehensible” said chair member, Dr. Amancio Dominguez in an interview with National Report. “We deal with legitimate and widespread instances of human rights violations, and frankly the issues presented to us here are not even a blip on our radar. It is in our opinion after reviewing all the evidence that the officer in question committed absolutely no wrong doing.”

He continued, “While I feel for loss endured by these two individuals, I believe they are blinded by grief, and this is simply not the forum which to project those feelings. My colleagues and I went over the surveillance footage, as well as other evidence documented in the case, and we believe that Michael Brown is indeed guilty of the acts of which he is being charged.”

Another member of the UN committee told CNN this morning, “We have much more important things to do than involve ourselves in county level legal proceedings. This was an absolute waste of our time. Compared to human rights violations that are prevalent in such 3rd world countries as North Korea and Brazil, America’s plight simply does not compare. While instances of police brutality certainly do exist, we have found that this was no such a case, and we will not be intervening in the matter.”

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