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One of the many causes of self-hate is UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS OR PERFECTIONISM. What are are some the UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION for yourself? If you examine your UNREALISTIC expectations, chances are, you’ll find an angry and demanding person behind your “negative self-statements.”
Self-hate is the most insidious and pervasive problem we all have. Self-hate underlies most patterns, and rules most relationships. The patterns springing from it can manifest in a wide variety of ways. That's because self-hate hides so well, and has the ability to co-opt other patterns for its use. Self-hate is evident in everyone on this planet. A broad statement, yes, but we believe this to be true. To one degree or another, everyone has lack of self-acceptance, lack of self-love. Feelings of unworthiness are at the root of the self-patterns or mental dispositions. Self-hate keeps us from feeling loved by another. We are frozen in unworthiness, often battering away at the stone with affirmations and behaviors to try to feel better about ourselves. We exercise and diet and build careers and seek power or fame. We wear makeup and hair gel and cologne, trying to hide the awful people we "know" we are deep inside. We seek lover after lover, trying to feel loved and special and valuable . . . but we never really FEEL it. We drink and drug and sex, trying to dull the pain at the core of our bones that says "unworthy". The only way to heal the dark demon at the center of the SELF is to allow the feelings of self-loathing expression, in a safe place, and hopefully with someone who loves and can listen without judging.
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