BEEhappy

8/18/2008 11:38 AM UTC

I just read your reply about your DH and disorganization. What really got my attention was the brain injury comment. My dd 15 suffered a brain injury 8+ months ago. Disorganization is just one of the many symptoms (as I am sure that you know). You said that his brain injury happened some years ago. Did he go to neuro-trauma rehabilitation? It is a relatively new philosophy and it is never too late. My dd has been taught many organizational strategies to help her through a cognitive therapy program...we are still considered new to the injury, so she still has a ways to go. A neurologist at Jefferson in Philadelphia recommended a specific cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) from a doctor trained by Dr. Beck (the Beck Institute)-this CBT is different from the organizational therapy. You said that your husband is a brilliant scientist. My daughter, even just 10 weeks after her injury, was labeled as having "superior intelligence" by the neuropsychologist. All of the docs have said that the very intelligent patients have a difficult recovery, as they become exceptionally frustrated and confused. I don't want to tell you things that you already know, but I wanted to share something that seemed potentially helpful. As you know first hand, a brain injury doesn't just affect the patient, it affects the entire family and future. Just to share, we have had two specialists tell us that our girl is amazing and they wish that all of their TBI patients could get to her level. That comment would have soothed me when I was still a blink away from crying all the time, but this more analytical and educated mom says, "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!" So, although we have recently learned that she will be able to graduate from high school eventually (valedictorian and AP calc are no longer an option-I tell her and me that there is less pressure). College, driving and living on her own, are still in question, but it is becoming apparent that there might be a savant talent for songwriting....?.... She is supposed to return to high school this fall (she is officially special ed and taking a modified schedule), she says that she is excited for school to start. What has your journey with your husband been like?

chantlaura

8/16/2008 3:03 AM UTC

That was so kind and gracious of you, what you said in the "I love you but" thread - thank you so very much!

Hope4RoseGardens

8/13/2008 9:55 PM UTC

Thank you for your comments on my Ups & downs post. I'm glad to hear your MIL made peace at the end. To answer your question....Mom is still alive, but she is the classic battered woman. She defends him and enables him to the point of blaming herself for my attitude and me for the effect the estrangement is having on him. It's sad, but that's the way they are. All I can do is love them...from over here. SIL has a mother very much like my father. We went to high school together, and shared a lot of stories over the years. I think it bothers her that I have made a stand where she has not - one of us must have made the "correct" choice while the other made the "incorrect" choice. As long as we were in the same boat, it was okay. Does that make sense?