I attend a good deal of live theater in New York City. I believe in
taking advantage of this incredible City that is at my fingertips and
the theater in NYC is one of passions. As in life, some plays are
phenomenal and some not so great. A few nights ago I saw a not so
great play entitled Happiness BUT it did give me something to think
about and a tool to utilize on those days that I am feeling not so
great.The Perfect Moment. The concept presented in the play
was this: 10 or so people are trapped in a subway car, all of them
suddenly made aware of the fact that they have died. The conductor
informs them that they must come up with a Perfect Moment from their
lives and if they do so, eternity can be spent in that perfect moment.
Oh if that were actually true!So slowly but surely, each of
them arrives at their perfect moment. For an older woman, it is a
moment from the 1940's when she was dancing with a soldier at a USO
dance and he asked her to be his girl. For a doorman, it was when his
Dad took him to the 1954 playoff game where he saw Willie Mays make a
ground-shaking catch. For a young Hispanic bicycle delivery man it was
when he dressed up as the tooth fairy and gave his daughter her 50
cents. For a young woman who spent her life in Manhattan selling
perfume at Bloomingdales and living in a make believe world of the
rich, it was a night on the beach in Brooklyn with her sweetheart. And
so on.I give my clients undergoing divorce a 'time-out'
exercise that allows them to bypass a negative emotional reaction. They
sit quietly and spend a minute or so taking deep, cleansing breaths to
slow down their heart rate and thus calm themselves. In the past, I
have asked them to then visualize a time when they were joyful or at
peace. Now I plan on using the Perfect Moment.Here a few of my Perfect Moments: - playing in the woods with my gang of neighborhood friends when I was a kid- Sitting at a dinner table with my dearest friends for my 50th birthday- Lying in bed with my teenage daughter and just talking about her life- Falling asleep with my children when they were young, cuddled up to me in my bed- Awakening from a deep sleep and seeing my two year old son, standing with his blanky, staring intno my eyes.- Hiking in the rain-forest- Sitting on my Dad's lap-
Immediately after my wedding ceremony when my ex and I sat alone
together for a half an hour to ponder the wonder of being married..- Lying with a sleeping infant on my chest.- Talking on the phone late at night with my first boyfriendThere
are so many of those perfect moments in our lives but we forget about
them all too soon. Its the muck of life that seems to be on our minds
most of the time. We have to remember to remember the perfect moments
in our lives, especially when life is not treating us so good. These
are gifts we can give ourselves to bring a smile to our face and
realize that life is indeed good.
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It's good to talk.