Life in the Can  

Energy cannot be created or destroyed
Simply delivered by Life in the Can
Pontification upon LitC
Rolling in the HoJo
Co-Hosting on a grand scale
The time change messed me up
It's two hours behind, it's great
I woke up at 3 a.m.
Why the hell is she still sleeping?
I walked over and poked her
I can't say that
No man can use that line
Poked her again
You are the rube of travel, Booba
I did sleep in my jeans
My pants are unhappy
Whatever, Mr. SoCal
Turns out that I am the token fat person
Token Midwesterner
Using the scar for priority seating
Southwest Airlines didn't know what was about to hit them
I felt like third class priority seating
Your mom's super scar comes in handy
The missing piece to your story
What is it, Betsy?
Well, I started drinking at about 10 am
The drunk mom was great on the plane
I started crying
"My life is so good"
"He didn't leave me alone with my special needs kid"
The stewardess, a man
Flight attendants
I laughed at all of his jokes
And the drinks kept flowing
He made me a drink called "Sex on the Airplane"
On the fifth drink he asked what I thought of the drink
I can't wait to tell my husband about sex on a plane