5. Trailing toilet paper on your shoe

4. Getting your pantyhose stuck in your skirt

3. Spilling something on yourself in front of a hot date

2. Finishing the interview of a lifetime, and discovering you had broccoli in your teeth the whole time

1. Sharing your deep, dark money secrets.

Last week we talked about curiosity, and many of you emailed me after that show to tell me how that skill has worked in your financial life:

Kathy, from Georgia, wrote to say:

"I’ve never been curious enough about the different ways to invest, so at your urging, I called my broker and set up a time to talk to him about it. I’m excited about what I can learn!"

Tom, from Denver, wrote:

"Sometimes I’ve been a little too curious, and found myself all over the place with my investments. I found myself changing strategies just to change them – now I’m curious about whether what I’m doing is actually getting me where I need to go."

And finally, from Karen in Gainesville, (who also happens to be my Mom):

"It was curiosity that prompted me to learn about the stock market back in the 80’s. I was envious that people knew how to read the financial section of the newspaper and I didn’t."

Thanks to all of you who wrote in with your comments.

This week I want to give you the skill of questioning – a close cousin of curiosity, since curiosity is the precursor to questioning – and I want to talk to you about a simple method of questioning that can get you to your goals more easily and more quickly.

My new game, Let’sTalk Coaching Cards, the MONEY Edition, which you can find out more about at playthecoach.com, is based on using questions to initiate financial conversation – first we use the cards that come from the game, and then we learn how to create what I call “quality questions.”

Quality questions are the ones that zero in on the financial challenges, free from the stories that surround them, and have an acceleration built in to them.

A focused, accelerated question takes you much more quickly into action, and here’s how you build it:

·        First, identify a financial challenge you’re having, and boil it down to its 2 to 4 word essence. For instance, “saving money,” “collaborating with my spouse,” or true to the theme of this week’s show, “earning more”.

·        Once you have the essence of the challenge, start your question with “How can I…? So, the basic version would sound like: “How can I earn more?”

·        Now the really important part of this is to add an accelerator element to the question, using words like “best, more strategically, in ‘x’ period of time” That accelerated version then would sound something like:

“How can I most strategically meet the goal of earning what I’m worth?”

You can hear that this question holds a lot more power and promise than just “How can I earn more?”

Remember, a quality life comes from asking quality questions, so play with creating more quality questions in your financial lives, and email me at info@playthecoach.com to tell me how it’s working for you.

Tune in this Friday to hear my interview with Mikelann Valterra, Director of the Women's Earning Institute. Our topic is Why Women Under Earn - the emotional and psychological connections behind why women undersell themselves, and the tools to earn at their potential. 
 

Also on this week's show, I'll take your questions on handling financial conflict within your relationships, giving you the tips for talking to your partner, spouse, or family in a way that is respectful, productive, and transformative.

Email your questions to jenifer@playthecoach.com, and enter to win a copy of my award-winning book, A Financial Minute!

I'll meet you on Friday!

Let's talk about the skill of curiosity. Most people assume that curiosity is more of a trait – something you're naturally good at – than a skill, which is something you develop. I think it’s a little of both. As children, we're very naturally curious, because just about everything is new to us. But as we get older, the more we experience, the more we lose that innate curiosity and start to adapt something of a “been there, done that” response to life.

I’m here to tell you that losing your natural curiosity – especially when it comes to money matters – will have a dramatically negative effect on your financial success. Let me tell you why:

When you commit to curiosity, you open yourself up to possibilities. When you’re certain you already have all the answers, you close yourself to possibilities. It’s that simple. But that doesn’t mean I think you should abandon everything that’s worked for you, just for the sake of curiosity. What I’m suggesting is that you look at your financial challenges with a new lens, free from the “stories” and beliefs and habits that may have driven you in the past. Adapting an attitude of curiosity means you reserve the right to go back to your old way of thinking, but only after exploring other options first.

So the next time you’re presented with a new way to think or act with your money, commit to curiosity first, action second. And be sure to post your comments, to tell me how you’ve used this coaching skill to better your life.

Would you like to find out how financial coaching can help you use curiosity to accelerate your financial success? Simply email me, at jenifer@playthecoach.com, and we'll connect!