Radio Blog Theater  

FOR THE BENEFIT OF MISTER KITE

PART 3

MUSICAL INTRO:

A

(coughing)

Hey! Somebody! Anybody!  Help!  Pleeeease. (pause) Oh, oh, God somebody help!  Its so dark.  Hate the darkness (coughing)…

(Pause)

(coughs)

A drink of water?

Thirsty!!!!!!

(pause)

In here, check in here…did you forget about m…um…did you forget?  I,uh…we’re in here.

Here.

Anybody?...Anybody…Hey, hey, hey, IN HERE. Anybody at all

(Pause)

I…(gags) I…we want to go home…LET US OUT  LET US

GO HOME.

(pause)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE- PLEEASE

(whimpers)

I-We…we’ll confess.

(pause)

Whatever it was…I confess, I mean we, we confess!

I did it!

I did it!

Um…um…um…

WE DID IT

WE DID IT

WE DID IT…DID YOU FUCKING HEAR US…WE DID IT!

 SHIT, FUCK, FUCK…I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU…

FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!

(Breaks down sobbing)

B

A human being…the human body can survive 3-4 days without water.  An animal that perseveres. We must admire that.  On or after the third of fourth day, they, it will begin to die from dehydration.  Its true, we read it on Wikepedia.  Food, people can…the human body can go without eating for a good couple of weeks.  Fatties can last a little longer.

(slaps A on the stomach)

We’re quite a chunker aint we, a real porker?

(laughs)

PIG PIG PIG.

(makes pig sounds)

A

Leave me alone…leave me alone…go away…you monster!

B

And ripe!  My Brotha, it stinks to high heaven in here.

Shit our pants, eh motherfucker, pissed em too…reckon?

FUCKING PIG!!!

(makes pig sounds again)

(pause)

A

(sobbing)

B

We’ll turn a light on and see how pathetic looking things are.

A

(screams)

Eyes! Eyes, too bright, too bright turn them off…hurts…owwwwwwwwww!

B

You faggot flip flopping liberal democrats don’t know what the fuck you want.  (mocking)

Oh, oh, I’m so lonely anybody there…Go away leave me alone….I’m afraid of the dark…oh too bright turn the light off…We have to go to war…oh no we gotta pull out now. 

Bunch fucking pussies sound like a goddamn cock teasing virgin,

(girlish voice)

Oh, I want you inside, but its so big, it will hurt…oh I’m not ready…oh, yes, make sure you pull out…we never done this before…eat my pussy first…we shouldn’t be doing this.

(normal voice)

You’re all cunts.  Fucking pig cunts!

(approx 15-20 seconds makes pig sounds, while beating A)

A

(screaming)

Stop! Stop!  …I’ll…me…I…I’ll…We… Sign anything, but please, please, begging, begging, just stop…I’ve got nothing to hide.

B

Are we to understand that a signature will grace the bottom of a piece of paper, a signed piece of paper confessing sins against society?

A

Yeah, yes, yeah anything, anything…anything at all.  Stop…please.

B

We don’t want, or need a bullshit tainted confession.  What is the value of a confession gained by torture?  Worthless!  The Muthafucka is muthafucking worthless.

A

Wha?

B

Confessions achieved by torture are as reliable as rubbers made in pin factory. Nobody wants to be accused of coercion.  Next thing ya know some useless public watch dog committee will be created to convince the American people that a congressional investigation is not good enough.  There will be a total cluster fuck at the polls during the next election and a peanut farming cracker from Georgia will end up in the White House again.  Not on this agents watch, No sir ree Bob.

A

But…But, I said, I did it…I confess…I’m guilty.

B

There was no question of the guilt or the crime that was committed.  That was established from the very beginning…no questions of who would take the fall.

A

Me?

B

Um, yeah, Duh, who else?

A

I don’t even know…what I did?

B

So.  Crime doesn’t pay.

A

I don’t know what I did.

B

Ignorance of the law doesn’t excuse the lawbreaker.  Stupidity of one’s actions are no excuse either.  Sad, Sad former productive member of society.

A

Why…Why the…If I’m already convicted, why the whole Guantanamo Bay bit.

B

Maybe this is Guantanamo Bay.  Examples must be set.  The sleeping giant has been awoken and the mother fucker is pissed off.

A

That’s not heroic or patriotic, that's rhetoric and prop...propaganda.

B

“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.”  George Orwell said that.  1984, George Orwell.  Animal Farm George Orwell Pig!

A

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT KNIFE!

B

SUEEE!  SUEEE!  Gonna gut me a pig pig.

(Begins to cut A and A screams

Here is a pound of flesh!

People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

(cuts A, A screams over and over)

People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.  WE ARE BIG BROTHER!

A

(hysterical almost incoherent)

Yes, Big Brother…sure, little brother, ma, pa, sis, boom, ba, baby in a high chair, who put em there- -

B

Double plus good.

A

Baby in a high chair who put him there?

B

Thought crime, hate crime it all the same.

A

When you’re up you’re up and when you’re down and when you’re only half way up you’re always upside down.

B

Speaking in a code? (cuts A screams) People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

A

(screams and laughs)

Yeah, (laughs) secret code, top secret code, the code of the rebels.  Kick em in the head, kick em in the feet, Boy Scout camp cannot be beat…Yay, Boy Scouts…Yay, Boy Scouts.

B

Shut up!

People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

A

The window, the window, the second story window, with a heave and a ho and a mighty throw, we threw it out the window.

B

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

A

The limits of my language are the limits of my world. HAHAHAHAHAHA

(B hits A hard)

B

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUTUP

PEOPLE SLEEP PEACEABLY IN THEIR BEDS AT NIGHT BECAUSE ROUGH MEN STAND READY TO DO VIOLENCE ON THEIR BEHALF…YOU PIECE OF SHIT

WE THE ROUGH AND READY

People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

A

The limits of my language are the limits of my world.

Music begins screaming starts end of part 3