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YES I ABUSED WOMEN! AND YES I AM A CHANGE MAN!

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Why it happens, gender, myths/facts

Why do some men abuse women?

Most men do not abuse their partners or children. However, a small number do.

Men who abuse believe they are entitled to get their own way. Their abuse is intentional behaviour, usually because they think they have the right to take control of their female partners. They are usually only violent to their partner in private. Making their partners and families afraid of them is a common way of holding the power within the relationship.

This sense of entitlement enables abusive men to avoid responsibility for their actions. They generally have very little consideration for the feelings or wishes of their partners.  Instead they will put the blame and responsibility for anything that goes wrong onto their partner.

Men are not abusive or violent because they have a problem managing their anger. They are generally capable of managing their anger in situations where there are more likely to be consequences, such as at work.  Using abuse and violence is a choice.

Three reasons for using violence:

  • to make someone do something
  • to stop someone from doing something
  • to punish.


They might say to their partners:
“If you loved me you would do what I want."

This is never OK.

 

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