Kreeptown 206

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Spider Von Kreep

Spider Von Kreep

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The rundown--  **The sound of Danzig being slapped to the floor by that fat security guard on Youtube is the sound your childhood dying. I know it's old news but goddamnit, was Danzig sitting on a unicycle or something? He's 5'3 and a hundred and eighty pounds and dropped like a feather. How is that even physically possible? I call bullshit and say it never happened. I contend that had Danzig actually been hit he would've sprouted giant black demon wings and and blinded the security guard with acidic brimstone hellfire breath before reaching into the fat man's chest and tearing out his very soul while quietly chanting the lyrics to Astro Zombies. I smell a conspiracy involving Dan Brown, ILM, and Chris Kirkpatric of 'NSYNC. The evidence speaks for itself.  **Casey Anthony was found not guilty of murdering her three year old daughter today. Experts (meaning myself and the plastic Bat Mite Happy Meal toy on my desk) believe that since the case didn't involve a samurai sword, a stolen golf cart, and 2 civil war cannons filled with Coors Lite, the Florida jury didn't recognize the events as a crime and therefore let the woman go. Florida-- the place Arizona looks at and goes "Look at those wierdos."  **Transformers 3 is about as brutal a movie of alien robots violently beheading other alien robots as you're likely to see this summer. Then again I haven't seen Bad Teacher yet so I could be wrong.  **And finally we got an awesomely black visit by everyone's favorite The Ed today. Oh, you didn't know Kreeptown was beloved by the black community? Well now ya heard son! Put that in your grape drink and smoke it. Side note--  I actually felt my credit score dropping as I wrote that last part. Kreeptown!!

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