Keith Price  

I just read an article in Newsweek that made me think about ways of dealing with stress. The artcle discusses a new study from Families and Work Institute. Summary of findings:

• Women are contributing more, financially
• Men are taking on a bigger role in child care
• Trying to balance parenting and career is taking its toll
• 3/5 men rated work/family balance stress at some or a lot
• those numbers are about 25% higher than they were in the late 1970s
• interestingly, the rating by women has maintained approximately 45%

My take: Stress is often measured by the variance of expectation from experience. For example, when I am driving 40 miles an hour in a 35 mile an hour zone, I'm happy as a clam (how do we know how happy clams are?). But if I'm forced to drive 40 miles an hour on the freeway, even for a minute or two, my blood starts to boil. In that example, how I feel has nothing to do with how fast I'm going. In both cases, I'm at 40 miles an hour. But on the freeway, I expectation is that I should be going 55, or higher. When I can't do that, I feel stressed and frustrated. So, if that is true, one of the things this study suggests is that men are feeling higher expectations from themselves to be more involved in their families' lives. I actually see that as a good thing. But, how are we dealing with the stress -- which is not such a good thing? Simple things we can do to reduce stress related to an expectation variance are: 1) Breathe better -- two or three times a day, take around 10 deep, cleansing breaths, where you exhale completely. 2) Be physically active -- every day, try to lift weights, walk, run, or climb. For many people, something that allows you to hit something else, such as tennis, racquetball, or a punching bag (not spouses, kids, or dogs!) can be produced huge reductions in stress. 3) Smile -- have you ever tried to smile, nonstop, for a full 60 seconds? Unless you have been in a beauty pageant, I'm guessing not. And it's harder than you might think. Try it a few times a day. Try it while looking at yourself in a mirror. Your brain often takes its emotional cues from your body. 4) Plan ahead -- if you can manage your expectations by planning for what you can and cannot do the day before or at the beginning of the week, you're less likely to feel stressed when the expected events occur. 5) Ask better questions -- Why me? Why can't I? What's wrong with me? These are common and completely unhelpful questions. There are seldom good, accurate answers, but your subconscious brain knows that you expect one, so it will make one up, such as, "because you're a loser!" Instead, try: What's not right, yet? How can I make this better? What could I do differently, next time, to avoid this? How can I make the best of this situation? The more you practice asking better questions, the better you'll get at coming up with helpful, supportive answers. Stress it doesn't go away just because you ignore it. If you work at it, you'll find your stress dropping to a manageable level. BTW, I'm going to create one of these stress reducing products, soon. Help me pick which one, and you'll get it free:

• Happiness Infusion
• Jolt of Energy
• Wake Up High
• Bedtime Heaven
• Busting Blocks