keitbraycoach  

DENIAL and YOU!
The last thing I ever wanted in my life was to be an addict.
There I was a model of success to most of my outside world. Good job, nice home a great family, community volunteer, yada yada yada. Sure I had problems, but doesn't everyone.
As a part of a marriage break up (yes, another one), a therapist had the nerve to suggest substance abuse may be a big issue.
That statement was met with total DENIAL.
My friend Patrick Meninga wrote today in his "Spiritual River" the following words. As you read, substitute whatever word you want for alcohol:
"Denial is all about trying to stay on the hamster wheel and appear somewhat normal. The alcoholic tries to maintain and stay somewhat happy through being self medicated all the time. This becomes a difficult balancing act because the alcoholic will realize that they cannot really enjoy themselves with their drinking unless they let lose completely and drink as much as they want. But at the same time, they know that they have a tendency to get into trouble when they do so, and so they struggle to restrict their drinking in order to maintain control.

This struggle for control plays a central role in the life of the alcoholic and it cannot be overcome without complete surrender. The surrender is defined by the absence of this struggle for control. Once this is dropped, then recovery can begin. But if the alcoholic is still trying to maintain this struggle, then they are not ready to stop drinking. Until they do let go of this great struggle, they are still trapped in denial, believing that they might somehow both enjoy and control their drinking at the same time.

Surrender happens when the alcoholic transcends this struggle for control and accepts the idea that they could abstain from alcohol entirely.

This is not so much an action step. It is sort of like the opposite of action. Surrender is a release. The alcoholic is letting go of something."I found out in my own life Denial is not a river in Egypt, and surrendered. It started a great journey. There are some questions on my web site (www.hopeserenity.ca) you might want to ask yourself and answer honestly when you are in private. They may help you to break through and start your own recovery process!