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Tonight, I HEARD A MIRACLE!

I’m very fortunate, the things I’m involved in and the new life I’ve been given allow me to be positive about life most of the time. I also have a sense of realism. I have had the good fortune to see tremendous growth in the lives of others on a frequent basis and in nearly every aspect of life; jobs, careers, family, spirituality, motivation, success and more.

There are some that realism tells me, just can’t get it despite the best efforts of “others”. Some of these people die, some just get continuously more miserable.

Tonight, I heard a miracle.

One of the people I care deeply about in my life gave me a call as is his habit. We had driven to an event together yesterday morning, and much about the season and living had been said in the car and at the meeting. The person I drove home had become deeply reflective over the course of the meeting. This was a man I really wondered about. A man who I thought maybe one of those “less fortunate’s” when it came to dealing with HIS living issues.

I was out Saturday night and wasn’t here to take his call. I did notice something different in the voice I heard on the message he left on my machine.

Tonight we talked. A light has come on with my “friend”, he heard and listened intently to a voice inside of him, and understood what the voice has been telling him. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED ANYMORE. JUST SURRENDER. The exact message I had got some fourteen plus years ago. I had listened intently to the same message and received a dose of n hope for the first time in years. I related to what my “friend” said; I have had the same experience. I pray that the change stays within him.

This holiday season, even though “the feeling” is new, I know he will experience the best Christmas he has had in many. He will be able to just “BE” for himself and his family. There will be a lot less that he will have to control and prove. I say tongue in cheek; he may stay out of his own way and enjoy what the “spirit” of the season is. He certainly, on an intellectual basis, has the tools. I think a spiritual side may have just kicked in! A miracle after knowing this fellow for many years. Let us all hope that my “friend”, and others just like him, who have experienced a “moment of clarity” right before the holidays, carry it with them throughout. They will have a positive impact on many around them.

Its funny, hearing that a new light has come on within my friend uplifts my soul in a powerful way. Seeing him and his family truly enjoy the “Spirit” of the season, without my friend sabotaging it, will be a great gift. What I heard tonight is truly a miracle, and we are pledged to work forward based on the foundation this moment of clarity has created. Tonight, I loved hearing this miracle.

My friend will now start a co-creative process of life recovery. I am thrilled to be an invited part of his journey. To be able to be a co-creative with him and others is what my personal mission is all about. Help others start on this journey. Assistance is available to those who visit www.creativeliferecovery.com and reach out. More miracles can start in 2008!!

I am truly blessed to have heard this miracle!

Using a Life Coach for Addiction Recovery

A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and deadline behind it.

As I went through a major process to determine what I wanted to focus on for the rest of my life, the answer finally came to me:

Helping others.

Specifically, coaching them to success.

I really do appreciate the personal referrals I have received from "friends" on addiction and life coaching. Lives are changing as a result! Please know that I sponsor within my fellowship as a give back service, I coach people for a small living, non-addicted and some with addictions or addicted family members. Funny how it works, "paying" clients, WITH SOME EXCEPTIONS, do the work and improve more than those who I work with as a service.

I went through a very thorough educational process to become certified as a LIFE Coach. It was strongly suggested that I have a coaching niche.  While I am currently coaching people in goal setting, life accomplishments, and general growth and development, my chosen niche is working with people impacted by addictions....not as a councillor or therapist, but as a coach. "Hope & Serenity" describes my niche practice.

I have a very unique background that made me gravitate to this area.  Currently, I am involved with the 12 step program of AA and very active in service work. That being said, I have also hired and still use coaches in my journey today.

Coaching works.  I have seen this to be true over and over again in my life.

Why? I thank my friend Patrick Meninga from the Spiritual River for his input to this blog.

A life coach can help you break free from the strong hold addiction has over you. No longer will you feel compelled to use drugs or alcohol to overcome issues in your life.  Sometimes, especially in early recovery, we can become our own worst enemy.  A life coach can help you learn how to hold yourself accountable, as well as to help motivate you to pursue goals that you otherwise might have thought unimportant to your recovery.

How is a Life Coach Different from a Sponsor?

The biggest difference is that a sponsor helps you from their perspective, based on their background, whereas a life coach helps you from your perspective and your background.  The emphasis shifts from "how can I help the addict work the program" to "how can we customize this program to best fit the needs of this individual?"  Thus, life coaching can potentially be a much more powerful and flexible approach to recovery.

Sometimes a sponsor in recovery tries to make a square peg go into a round hole, if you know what I mean.  They try to mould their sponsee to fit the program.  If the sponsee fails and ends up relapsing, they don't blame the program or the rigid style of sponsorship....instead they blame the individual!  This crazy approach plays itself out over and over again in recovery programs throughout the world.

With a life coach, the situation is reversed.  Instead of trying to fit the square sponsee into the round program, a good life coach will guide the recovering addict through a custom program that works for them; that is tailor made to their unique situation and personality.  In other words, the life coach changes the shape of the hole, not the shape of the recovering addict!

For example, some recovering addicts excel in a group setting, and they thrive on AA meetings.  But there are also some recovering addicts who are leery of sharing in front of groups, and prefer a one-on-one setting.  A life coach can meet this need with grace and flexibility.  The typical sponsor will just keep banging away though, trying to fit this poor square addict into the round hole of traditional recovery.

It is in this way that life coaching can go beyond traditional methods of sponsorship, unlocking the full potential of the individual through skilful coaching and program customization.

Beginning Your Addiction Recovery

A Life Coach can help you through the entire recovery process of your addiction. Once you decide you are ready to get help with your addiction, you can employ a Life Coach to help you stay motivated through your recovery. Trained life coaches will use the same principles of 12 step programs, and will have first hand experience with recovery. They will listen to you, and if you require, work with you in 100% privacy and confidentiality. Many people want to begin recovery in total privacy.

Physical dependence

In the beginning, your life coach can help you find treatment centers so you can get over the physical dependence you have on the substances. Not everyone needs a treatment center to get over an addiction but it is an effective way to receive the medical supervision while your body goes through withdrawal. Your coach can discuss treatment options. 

Emotional dependence

Treatment centers will also provide support to you through your emotional dependence to these substances. Usually people use substances because situations in their life cause them to use substances to help them through problems. Once you are not physically dependent on the drugs and alcohol you can start attacking the other reasons for your cravings. Coaching will focus on you and finding and harnessing your strengths (not unlike coaching an athlete).

Hope & Serenity has associations with health care professionals and treatment facilities. 

Life Coaching after Treatment

After you complete a treatment center or you have successfully withdrawn from the substances, your recovery is just beginning. You will need to continue to work towards not using substances in your life especially when life doesn't go the way you would like it to. This is when a life coach can help prevent you from relapsing. Relapse means you go back to using your drug of choice whether it is one time or more than once. 

Your life coach will help you find ways to de-stress your life and maintain balance each day so you don't get overwhelmed to the point in which you feel you need to "use" to find relief. Your life coach will check in with you as often as you need through phone, e-mail or in person. This means that your life coach will be on top of how you are feeling and if you are experiencing any triggers for your substance use.  

Many life coaches will allow you to call him or her any time of day or night just like a sponsor. You can call your life coach if you are craving. You can talk about how you are feeling and your life coach can work through it with you. Your life coach will keep you focused on your personal goals for your life. 

Conclusion

The most important thing to keep in mind is that with a life coach you will not be alone in the process of recovery. You will have an experienced and trained coach on YOUR team. Family and friends can be excellent support systems for you but a life coach can give you an unbiased view. Your life coach will never judge you and will LISTEN TO what YOU are thinking and feeling with an open mind. Don't go through addiction recovery on your own, a life coach can help you get through this difficult time in your life.

Your Life Coach will help you to build a game plan for life through goal setting, hold you accountable, and harness your own strengths to succeed in life.

Hope & Serenity is a coaching service focus on addiction recovery and is on the web at www.hopeserenity.ca. Check out the landing site at www.creativeliferecovery.com.

We believe in a holistic, balanced approach to the journey of recovery. A Co-Creative Process.

More on FEAR

Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourage; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable.
-- Harry Emerson Fosdick

FEAR maybe the real 4 letter word. I submit it causes more destruction on people than the other four letter "F" word we commonly think about.

Fear is a natural instinct, and does have a role in our lives, a purpose. If a bear comes after you, fear and the response you have from the fear (adrenalin rush?) is a good thing. This is fear with a foundation.

It is unfounded fear that destroys. The “what ifs” of the future.  As Fosdick points out, fear is the opposite of faith and faith heals.

It has been said that the opposite of fear is faith. But how do we change our fears into faith if we have little or no faith? How do we start having faith? One of the easiest ways to develop an alternative to fear is to ask ourselves during a moment of fear: What is the worst that could happen? Once we know the answer to that question, we have dealt with the source of our fears - the unknown.

What do we fear now? First we need to identify all the unknowns that we fear. Once we recognize all the things that can happen, we will be able to prepare ourselves for possible failure, loss, or sadness. By recognizing the fears, we take away some of their power over us. We can then believe we will be all right.

What do I fear and why do I fear it? I know I am okay because I have identified my fear.

For so many, fear is real, faith is fleeting. Being rational about fear can be a big help as noted, but nothing deals with fear like faith (not religion per se although some have faith in religion). Faith is within, and a large part of a co-creative process is finding the faith within. It truly is a journey, and for many, a guide is very helpful. Today, my faith has led me to a constant co-creator of a life I love, and I found that faith within.

Getting the life that you want and deserve is serious business. My own experience taught me that if I did not get serious about recovery and “go to any lengths”, there would continue to be serious consequences including unhappiness and lots of fear and the continued loss of things, including what was left of me! When I got serious, things got better, and have continued to get better as a result of time and constant effort; throw in faith and a lot of help on top!

We each may find our own way. Help put unfounded fear behind you. A place that may be a start point to design your journey is at www.creativeliferecovery.com. Start killing unfounded FEAR.

If It Ain't Broke-Why Fix?

I've got some acquaintances who look at me like I've got 2 heads over our work to develop the "Creative Theory of Life Recovery" and move the theory to an action process that is teachable/coachable, "The Co-creative Process of Life Recovery".

These acquaintances are generally hard line 12 Step people that I respect.

I have a great belief in the 12 Steps. When worked and applied, they provide a great model of good mental hygiene practice for ALL people, not only those with addictions.

I love the successes of the "program" and acknowledge them, but worry about the high rate of failure.

FOR ME, the 12 Step program gave me a base for my journey of life recovery, but I would not made the major changes I have made to my complete way of living, to my goals and aspirations, and would not have achieved the life I love today on the 12 Steps alone. Today I realize that I had to "create" life with lots of help from people outside the program, and this included a complete revamp of my spiritual life.

Once again I quote my colleague Patrick Meninga from his "Spiritual River" blog:

"Traditional Recovery Can be a Trap - Moving Beyond the Boring Path to Relapse

Traditional recovery programs are well established and if you are seeking recovery you will no doubt come into contact with them. While these programs offer instant support and good networking, they are not without their problems:

1) Traditional recovery can be fear based - sometimes traditional recovery seems to be fear based, meaning that people are not really motivating towards creation. Instead, there is a distinct sense of "I know I have to hit these meetings every day or I will relapse," or "I have to keep working this program or I will relapse."

2) Traditional recovery can be dogmatic - traditional recovery programs usually preach open-mindedness in order to get you in the door, but they do not extend this open mindedness beyond their own program. This is because they have already found their solution and see no need to explore elsewhere. "If it ain't broke don't fix it" is the mentality. Because traditional recovery works for some people, those people believe that it could work for anyone, and discourage seeking solutions elsewhere (which would entail a creative effort).

3) Traditional recovery is not holistic - most traditional recovery programs are spiritual based. But addiction affected our whole person, including physically, mentally, socially, and emotionally. Treating addiction with only a spiritual solution doesn't make sense. The ideal approach is therefore holistic in nature and addresses the whole person.

4) Traditional recovery lacks creative energy - A program of recovery is only effective to the extent that it pushes you to create a new life for yourself. Traditional recovery programs make a half hearted attempt at this but fall short of really pulling it off. For example, they instruct us to do an inventory and to work on correcting our shortcomings, but where is the push for a life of real passion and purpose? How do traditional recovery programs encourage us to explore our passion and find deep meaning and purpose in our life? The short answer is that they can only do this indirectly at best, and any creative efforts must come from the individual outside of the boundaries of traditional programs.

5) Traditional recovery can create dependency - some recovering addicts and alcoholics have become dependent on their recovery solution instead of creating a new life of freedom for themselves. This is certainly better than active drug addiction but it's not the ideal life for someone. Recovery is about recovering the life you once had, about getting back to real living and real freedom.

That is the focus of recovery and if you become enslaved to a recovery program at the expense of finding a new life of freedom then you have missed the mark. Most people can establish a healthy balance between this life of freedom and their recovery efforts but others become obsessive with traditional programs to an unhealthy degree.

Remember that recovery is not an end in itself; it is the means to an end.

Living a good life is the point.

Achieving freedom and serenity is the point.

Creating this for yourself is the point. These are the ends that you should be seeking and if the program itself becomes your ultimate goal then you are missing out on the creative life."

Patrick has expressed what I've personally witnessed and experienced. I know I'm not alone, and coach with the creative and holistic aspects as a "part" of the journey. There is no knock on 12 Step programs, they work for some and meet the expectations and goals of some. For many, more is needed.

Tomorrow, I am going to take a hard look at "holistic". In the mean time, let's have a chat about what YOU want! See www.creativeliferecovery.com if you think there might be more for you. If it is broke, fix it! We can help.