APPRECIATE YOUR TALENTS

YOU HAVE THEM

There is a real good daily reading I get from my friend Patrick in Michigan and it can be found by searching Spiritual River. He sends out free his “Daily Dose”.

For the most part, I love the holistic approach Patrick advocates for recovery, and it applies to addictions but many other facets of life. I do not believe, personally, those with addictions are unique; they have a disease that had kicked in to high gear as they have coped with living issues.

The clients I work with, and this includes people who want improvement in a wide range of areas in their life, generally have one thing in common, they have quit believing in and truly loving themselves.

I am working with Patrick on an eBook that we hope to finish and give away on our sites. It will deal with EGO, something we all need a better understanding of to get the joy, abundance, hope and serenity we deserve from life.

I must admit, some correspondence I got from Patrick this morning really made me feel god. He shared a response with me about some articles I had provided him with.

I commented in my response to Patrick, and honestly so, that I am not talented in the full use of technology, that his writing skills far exceed mine and in fact, I can’t even hammer a nail. All true.

What did strike me as I wrote is that I do have many wonderful god given talents that are mine. I have a gift, and always have had, for helping others. I am intelligent and through conscious self-improvement, I am a balanced and solid citizen. I love big and deeply care about family and friends. I am reasonably open minder. In coaching, I am making a positive difference, a person at a time, to this world. While it is true I can’t hammer a nail, there are other things that I can do to help out. I have had a career filled with volunteer activities, and have never done them looking for a personal payback. And on.

I have some talents, and must keep these front and centre in my thinking! I am a worth while person capable of making a positive difference, and my journey keeps this in the forefront. Life keeps it in perspective!

Look at yourself. No matter how dark things may seem to you, you do have talents. You are challenged to find them and use them. There is a community of great, trained, Life Coaches who are emerging. Coaches are just that, they are not therapists or analysts. They are trained to help you find your own talents, look at how YOU want to apply them, and through confidential sessions, help you to harness YOUR talents for YOUR success.

So thanks to Patrick, today I am reminded each of us has talents. It is our challenge to be conscious of them, and through whatever help we need, to put them to use!

See Patrick at www.spiirtualriver.com, or Keith a www.hopeserenity.ca or historically look at HOPESERENITY at www.livejournal.com.

You have the talent. Now harness it!

Personal Responsibility

There are so many great readings I get directly, read daily in books, or see posted on mtrecovery.com. To day, from Hazelden, I got the following and it rang a bell. There are some essentials I have to apply in my own life, and through my coaching with clients in my areas, life achievement or addiction recovery, help my clients find.

The article below articulates a thought better than I ever could, but a thought every human being must realize if they are to achieve their goals and have joy in life!

“There will be times when other people will disappoint us - either intentionally or because of indifference or incompetence. If we have been counting on them, their nonperformance can cause us real anger and frustration.

Our growth, however, should teach us that such failures are part of life. While never losing trust in others, we must accept them as fallible people. Their mistakes and lapses come from the human shortcomings all of us have.

Our best course is to live without expecting too much from others. They are not here to please or satisfy us. It's possible, too, that we've been unrealistic in some of our expectations and have set ourselves up for disappointments.

Our personal responsibility is to do our best even when others fall short of our expectations. At the same time, we can grow by becoming more reliable and dependable ourselves.

We cannot use another's failure as an excuse for negligence on our part.”

I am responsible for my actions, and must constantly remember not to have too high of expectations of others. Ultimately, the joy in my life is in direct proportion to the things I do, and not point fingers at others when I don’t achieve my best. If I point a finger at you, three point back at me!

I must always remember also, the journey is “trudged” and progress must be the goal, not perfection!

Staying On Top Of Things

I’ve got a man a truly respect in my life, “Bugsy”, who started a similar journey to mine years before I did. He has faced things that I can only imagine, and faced them with courage, humor and a willingness to be of real service to others.

From Bugsy I get great readings and reminders (as well as some good jokes) and as got up on mail that accumulated over Thanksgiving, the following screamed out at me:

“We can try to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had shown none. With those we dislike we can begin to practice justice and courtesy, perhaps going out of our way to understand and help them.

Whenever we fail any of these people, we can promptly admit it - to ourselves always, and to them also, when the admission would be helpful. Courtesy, kindness, justice, and love are the keynotes by which we may come into harmony with practically anybody. When in doubt we can always pause, saying, "Not my will, but Thine, be done." And we can often ask ourselves, "Am I doing to others as I would have them do to me - today?"”

As a child, we learned the “Golden Rule”. Do we keep it in the forefront as much as we should? We all make mistakes, and inadvertently do things that we know are wrong. Personally I can still put my foot in my mouth more often than I like, particularly when I put my mouth in gear before my brain! I make mistakes and can unintentionally hurt others and sometimes not even know it until it is brought to my attention.

Perfection continues to elude me!

That being said, and as reminded by the quote above, I try to practise new behaviour.

When I am wrong, and as promptly as possible, I try to take full responsibility for my behaviour, admit my mistakes, and make the necessary amends. There are certain principles I do try to practice in all my affairs. I worked hard to understand my life prior to journey’s start, and early on in the journey, tried to clean up the wreckage I had inflicted on others and myself. In doing so, it allowed me to look life in the eye!

My journey is one of progress, I try to remember the “Golden Rule” and when I make the blunders I still make, to put them to right as soon as possible.

Thanks Bugsy for this important reminder!

The journey is open to all!!

Paradox In The Journey

For the last 14 plus years I have been on a journey. I had hit a wall in life, in particular the life I was living inside myself. The outside world may have thought things were OK. I had a home, 2 cars, the bills were paid and my consulting company was doing fine from a financial standpoint.

Inside I was a mess. I was spiritually dead, was losing relationships that meant the world to me, and had lost respect for myself. It was not a pretty picture.

A series of events occurred that caused me to make changes. I wanted myself back and had no idea who I was. I wanted balance, joy, hope, serenity and a positive feeling about life. I wanted balance and to find my original centre once again.

A journey began. One of the interesting facets of the journey is the paradoxes that are a part of it.

Think about them in your own life!

“We SURRENDER TO WIN”.

“We DIE TO LIVE.”

“We SUFFER TO GET WELL

“There is no way to escape the terrible suffering of remorse and regret and shame and embarrassment which starts us on the road to getting well from our affliction. There is no new way to shake out a hangover. It's painful. And for us, necessarily so. I told this to a friend of mine as he sat weaving to and fro on the side of the bed, in terrible shape, about to die for some paraldehyde. I said, "Lost John" - that's his nickname - "Lost John, you know you're going to have to do a certain amount of shaking sooner or later." "Well," he said, "for God's sake let's make it later!" We suffer to get well.”

My journey really began when I surrendered. I finally quit fighting the obvious, life was not OK as it was, and to make change, I had to understand that I did not control much. Tough for the old ego, but the ego in a healthy form survived!

A part of me had to die. Those habits and actions that were dragging me down. And slowly but surely they began to die and I started to live the life I knew was possible!

Was it easy?

NO.

I suffered, and in some ways those around me suffered. Yet slowly out of the suffering came balance and a new sanity!

Life is full of paradoxes and today I appreciate them! I love the journey. I love to share it! It is great to be alive again inside!

Make It A Good Day?

When I got up Wednesday morning, I had a choice to make. I choose to make it a good day.

There is enough craziness going on in this world, the talk of economic collapse, and gosh help us, elections on both sides of the border. Here in Canada, as far as leadership goes, I don’t find any real good choice. In working with politicians for years to advocate causes, I learned one thing quickly. The only real certainty starting from the time they are confirmed as elected? The real politicians are consumed with getting elected again. True people pleasing and makes it understandable why being called a politician or political is not a compliment! My life has so many elements going on that aren’t what my conscious mind would choose, yet we made it a good Wednesday. Thursday is my personal mental health day where I see a fellow coach, an associate “professional” whose skills compliment mine, attend a great discussion group and even visit my mother at the “home”!  A day that helps keep me centered and balanced.

Those that know me know I do a great deal of volunteer work, including working with a group of peers who are struggling with addictions specifically and life in general. There were people there for me when I needed it, and I will continue to be there the best I can for others. It’s called service.

I also coach for a living. There are many who will not take the “free” help readily available at 12 step programs, for what ever the reason. I have opinions on that. Part of the problem is they feel if it is free, it can’t be good. With some, its ego or work related. I do feel with many if there is no pain there is no gain, and with some pain equates to spending their own money. The hired gun knows best.

While I am certified as an Addictions Life Coach, most of my clients are not addicted. They are people who want more from life, whether it be career, relationships, balance, or settling in a new country. The funny thing, the principles of the 12 steps work in every life and make them better. It all starts with being honest with and knowing yourself, and making each day a good day!

It is frustrating that so many people will spend on things to make them happy, stuff, but will not invest in themselves. Ever seen a world class athlete or performer who didn’t have a coach to bring out their best and allow them maximum performance. Coaching isn’t a luxury, stuff is.

Coaching is something I’ve used for years personally, and paid with my own after tax dollars. It inspired me and helps me to set goals and reach them in several areas of my life. I have hired professional to help me deal with addictions and life as well. It has been a great investment personally.

I’ve experienced coaching and trained hard to be good at it! I believe in the innate goodness that every person was born with, and feel we are our own largest limiting factor in how our lives come out. We have choices to make!!

Every day is not great, some are much better than others. Many of the good ones feature “service” work or client work, and nothing is better than observing others move forward and use their abilities to meet there goals. My great days generally have a new client taking a free session!

Wednesday was a good day by choice. Thursday will be more of the same, but with my getting my dose of coaching, will be a good day with personal growth. How’s yours going to be?