keitbraycoach  

IQ of a HOUSE PLANT

I just got off the phone with a client, and was once again reminded how complicated bright people can make life.

Last night I attended a meeting, and on a board was the message “Keep It Simple”. I think it is a message most of those who read this and are going through recovery should have tattooed in neon in a visible place.

We were not all created equal from an intelligence quotient point of view. Some got more than others. How it is put to use is another different subject. Most people I have met that need major life change are not short on capacity but have used the capacity to complicate the heck out of life; and have taken themselves to a point of moments of insanity.

From testing, I know that I have more than average capacity. In some ways I’ve used it productively, in other ways I allowed my intellect to make things that should have been simple very complicated. Today I intellectualize less and that is a miracle!

What would life be like if a person had the IQ of a house plant, and was able to live a simple life and face situations head on without complicating? I have a feeling it would be far more serene than what many of us create.

My client has faced his addiction, and through today, has not been active for a good period of time, in a behavior than was taking the most important things in his life away from him. You would think that he’d be thrilled and those around him would be also.

Yet, during today’s session, that scary thought from him. “Rationally, I can’t explain what has happened to cause the change.” For bright people it is hard to just accept and not need a detailed explanation. It was a meaningful discussion.

Miracles are not rational! I have finally been able to accept that in my own life.

Those in recovery, look around you. They say recovery is a simple program for complicated people, and isn’t that the truth. Anyone going to write a book (or maybe they have) - Recovery for Dummies?

“Keep It Simple”. As we face challenges, may all of us remember the humble house plant that spreads its leaves, is aesthetically pleasing and just gives and accepts nurturing from others while remaining firmly rooted! Oh for the IQ of a house plant. (hopeserenity.ca)

 

 AUTHORING YOUR “LIFE” LIBRARY

I must admit, I had never considered my life like a personal library. Them I received the following quote and reflection that made me ponder. Ever thought of things in these terms?

Life is like a library owned by an author. In it are a few books, which he wrote himself, but most of them were written for him.
--Harry Emerson Fosdick

“In our minds there are multitudes of stored memories, knowledge, and skills. Some of these are the results of living and learning, but most are information given to us by others. Our family, friends, co-workers, teachers, and children are the greatest sources for our storehouses of information.

Most of our learning comes from others. Teachers give us much in the way of facts. Our family instructs us in morals. Friends show us different personalities and lifestyles. Our children reflect what we've taught them and give us their views of the world.” (KB-scary to think about!)

“All the information we have is valuable to our growth and maturity. Every person we meet, each place we visit, and everything we try contribute to our library of knowledge and experience. At times we may borrow from what is on our shelves, but we must keep our shelves stocked with fresh material. Each night we can write a new volume based on the day's experiences.

I have more valuable contributions to make to my library of knowledge and experience.”

So now I am more understanding as to where my knowledge of addictive behaviors came from, and the impact I had on others. I may own my history, but as the quote from Fosdick says, much of my history was written for me!

During the process of co-creative life recovery, I have been given the courage to make major changes, and the history I am currently creating has a much more positive spin to it! In what I am doing today, I am authoring more valuable contributions to my library.

Is it something you would like to author for your personal library? (www.hopeserenity.ca).

 

 

MORE ON TWO YOUS/DUALITY
Since I began the process of life recovery, and particularly when I became aware that my final career-coaching others- is so spiritually focused, I became very exposed and interested in the duality that exists within each human being. This duality causes huge internal conflict within many. It sure did within me.
Simple statements we all make, like "I'm mad at myself" are good example of duality at work. Think about it, who exactly is mad at whom?
I loved "The Power of Now" and even more "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. Maybe too much detail but reads on duality that were meaningful to me. They have helped me answer that great question-"Who am I?" and other parts of the journey help me appreciate why I am how I am.
This week, my coaching mentor, in his weekly "Idea Engineer", published a short article with quotes that brought this subject top of mind again. He wrote:
Two views

"... no matter what our difficulties may be, we recognize that there is a deep untroubled stream flowing below all surface troubles and that we are of one substance with that stream. The soul knows no difficulties." -- James Thornton

Masters teach that we can experience two completely different states of reality at the same time -- from the personality and from the soul.

Author Pema Chödron talks about being hungry, cold and tired but at that same time deeply content. Ram Dass speaks of how the emotional heart can be breaking while we recognize that all is unfolding perfectly.

Allowing our soul to be present with the discomforts of the personality shifts our experience of the discomforts.

"True self simply refers to the aspect of our being that is completely aware of its expanded nature no matter what we may be experiencing in our lives." -- Martia Nelson

Ever wonder who your true self really is? What is truly your reality? Something to really think about as you consider making major life changes!!(hopeserenity.ca)

READY FOR THE "BIG CHANGE" YOU NEED?
Got something this morning that said something about holes and drills and that people are not looking for a drill, but are looking to fill a hole.
This was a very good reminder for me; both of that hole that was in my life some 15 years ago, and what it took to fill it.
I had hit a point where my frequent unhappiness finally drove me to the realization I needed a big change in my life. Relationships of a personal nature were headed south, work gave me no boost, and it was just that....work. I did not like looking at that person in the mirror. After 46 years on this earth, and many "good times", it was not a great place to be at! I know many others hit the same point; most want but are not ready for "THE BIG CHANGE".
I have seen many come to this crossroad in life and succeed. I chose today in both my personal life and career to focus on success. I study it in the lives of others and in what has happened in my own life. Part of change for me was expanding my formal education to a place where I could professionally coach others. Where I wanted to go and do came crystal clear after reading a book called "Half Time" and spending a great deal of time in meditative soul searching.
When the light came on and direction clarified as to what THE BIG CHANGE might look like, it was time for the hard part....ACTION.
I had been in a rut for so long I really didn't know how to take the needed action, and like an underperforming athlete or musician, I needed someone to help and push me through the action phases of change. Once I got rolling, momentum based on successes took over, and I found my need for an outside push lessened as I grew within.
I hit a point where I knew I needed BIG CHANGE in my life. I did not like the life I had, and became ready for change. I got the external help I needed and took action, and in taking action located that something inside of me that has allowed progress to occur over an extended period of time, and learned, and continue to learn, from the successes of self and others.
There are a million books you can read on turning it around, what the qualities are of successful people and what success looks like. There is only one way that will allow you to achieve what you read. Simply put, get committed deeply then take action.
There is no one "right" way once you are ready for BIG CHANGE. Having walked the talk and having worked with and learned from hundreds of others, I have learned very few do it alone. Wonder why just about every high performer and goal setter and achiever has a "coach" in their lives, an external mirror? Do you need BIG CHANGE in your life? Are you ready for it and importantly are you ready, truly ready, to take action? If the answer is yes then take action and contact me (www.hopeserenity.ca) and as a sounding board and with no charge, let's see if my experience can help you design an action plan for you.

HAVE YOU LOOKED INSIDE?

I'm sitting here on one of those real fall days in southern Ontario.

This is true 4 season’s country, and they sometimes seem like they can happen all in one day! We started sunny, the wind picked up and the temperature dropped then rain to a sign of snow and now, blue shy and sun. A good day to take some quiet time and look inside; no golf today!

So the question; have you looked inside?

For what? You may ask and I respond; for the answers.

The answers to what? Inside lies the answer to everything. Yet most don’t know where to look and how to look. I was that way for most of my life, looking for answers when they were within me all the time.

Those who know me know I am not a religious person. As part of my process of life recovery I have developed a deep and abiding sense of spirituality and in doing that, I have found that within me is what some call the GREAT REALITY.

Is the Great Reality my soul? my sense of decency? My innate knowledge of right and wrong? Could it be what others refer to as God?

I don't need a label. Through the Co-creative Process of Life Recovery I have been guided to IT, and through prayer and meditation I try to stay conscious of the Great Reality on a daily basis. In prayer I talk and in meditation I listen and do get the answers.

So have you looked inside for the answers?

I can assure you, if you learn how and seek, you will find and with the discovery, start on a road to peace of mind and positive life change.

Need some help? (hopeserenity.ca)

 

At a Turning Point?
Thought to Ponder . . .
When I change the way I look at things, the things I look at change.
There came a time in my life I stood, out of a combination of desperation and despair, at a turning point. The options were clear. I could slide all the way into a dark world OR choose to turn my life around. Have you or are you there?
I was living separated from my wife, estranged from my children, friends were worried, I was depressed and my self-esteem had all but disappeared. The only thing that was positive is that I functioned at my job and had not YET fallen into financial disarray. Notice I said yet.
In some ways I was living in a fantasy world and my false pride told me I was not in trouble, yet the other part of me said I was. I was truly at a turning point.
My life was kept together by the use of booze, drugs and using other people to escape reality. Drugs and booze had not YET become daily, other escapes, some involving computer use, had.
There are literally millions of people out there that had been in the same position as me, and had transformed their lives to a point they had contentment, hope and serenity.
I wanted what they had and from somewhere got the courage at this turning point to choose recovery.
There was and is no one right way for me to get there, but I decided to take action. Through some trained professionals (the start happened to be a marriage counsellor) I was exposed to the 12 steps, a group approach and other support. I was not ready for a 12 step fellowship. I did go for intense counselling and finally decided to take action as a life priority.
This reading from the book Alcoholics Anonymous stuck out:
Half measures availed us nothing.  We stood at the turning point.
We asked his protection and care with complete abandon.
- Alcoholics Anonymous,  p. 59

This made sense to me. I had to stop trying to do things my way-in half measures. I had to do what millions of “WE” had done, and get the help and take the action as a top priority in my life. With gratitude and after continuous work, things turned and the turning point was left behind and life moved positively forward.
Please feel free to contact me if I can provide more detail. Tomorrow I’ll blog about some of the promises that were made known to me and in fact came true!