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Profile

RestorationKeith

http://www.hopeserenity.ca


Country: Canada

Language: English

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Coach Crystal-VOF

Coach Crystal-VOF

Hey buddy Keith, It's Crystal from Express! Thank you so much for listening to my show. I appreciate the support. Rock on.

keitbraycoach  

I am a certified and experienced Life Transformation Coach and an Addictions Mentor. I guide clients to results and offer a complimentary session to ensure fit for both of us.My daily blog is available through my web site

  • Archived Blog Posts

    Date / Time:

    READY FOR THE BIG CHANGE YOU NEED?

    READY FOR THE "BIG CHANGE" YOU NEED?
    Got something this morning that said something about holes and drills and that people are not looking for a drill, but are looking to fill a hole.
    This was a very good reminder for me; both of that hole that was in my life some 15 years ago, and what it took to fill it.
    I had hit a point where my frequent unhappiness finally drove me to the realization I needed a big change in my life. Relationships of a personal nature were headed south, work gave me no boost, and it was just that....work. I did not like looking at that person in the mirror. After 46 years on this earth, and many "good times", it was not a great place to be at! I know many others hit the same point; most want but are not ready for "THE BIG CHANGE".
    I have seen many come to this crossroad in life and succeed. I chose today in both my personal life and career to focus on success. I study it in the lives of others and in what has happened in my own life. Part of change for me was expanding my formal education to a place where I could professionally coach others. Where I wanted to go and do came crystal clear after reading a book called "Half Time" and spending a great deal of time in meditative soul searching.
    When the light came on and direction clarified as to what THE BIG CHANGE might look like, it was time for the hard part....ACTION.
    I had been in a rut for so long I really didn't know how to take the needed action, and like an underperforming athlete or musician, I needed someone to help and push me through the action phases of change. Once I got rolling, momentum based on successes took over, and I found my need for an outside push lessened as I grew within.
    I hit a point where I knew I needed BIG CHANGE in my life. I did not like the life I had, and became ready for change. I got the external help I needed and took action, and in taking action located that something inside of me that has allowed progress to occur over an extended period of time, and learned, and continue to learn, from the successes of self and others.
    There are a million books you can read on turning it around, what the qualities are of successful people and what success looks like. There is only one way that will allow you to achieve what you read. Simply put, get committed deeply then take action.
    There is no one "right" way once you are ready for BIG CHANGE. Having walked the talk and having worked with and learned from hundreds of others, I have learned very few do it alone. Wonder why just about every high performer and goal setter and achiever has a "coach" in their lives, an external mirror? Do you need BIG CHANGE in your life? Are you ready for it and importantly are you ready, truly ready, to take action? If the answer is yes then take action and contact me (www.hopeserenity.ca) and as a sounding board and with no charge, let's see if my experience can help you design an action plan for you.


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  • Date / Time:

    HAVE YOU LOOKED INSIDE?

    HAVE YOU LOOKED INSIDE?

    I'm sitting here on one of those real fall days in southern Ontario.

    This is true 4 season’s country, and they sometimes seem like they can happen all in one day! We started sunny, the wind picked up and the temperature dropped then rain to a sign of snow and now, blue shy and sun. A good day to take some quiet time and look inside; no golf today!

    So the question; have you looked inside?

    For what? You may ask and I respond; for the answers.

    The answers to what? Inside lies the answer to everything. Yet most don’t know where to look and how to look. I was that way for most of my life, looking for answers when they were within me all the time.

    Those who know me know I am not a religious person. As part of my process of life recovery I have developed a deep and abiding sense of spirituality and in doing that, I have found that within me is what some call the GREAT REALITY.

    Is the Great Reality my soul? my sense of decency? My innate knowledge of right and wrong? Could it be what others refer to as God?

    I don't need a label. Through the Co-creative Process of Life Recovery I have been guided to IT, and through prayer and meditation I try to stay conscious of the Great Reality on a daily basis. In prayer I talk and in meditation I listen and do get the answers.

    So have you looked inside for the answers?

    I can assure you, if you learn how and seek, you will find and with the discovery, start on a road to peace of mind and positive life change.

    Need some help? (hopeserenity.ca)

     

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  • Date / Time:

    AT A TURNING POINT?

    At a Turning Point?
    Thought to Ponder . . .
    When I change the way I look at things, the things I look at change.
    There came a time in my life I stood, out of a combination of desperation and despair, at a turning point. The options were clear. I could slide all the way into a dark world OR choose to turn my life around. Have you or are you there?
    I was living separated from my wife, estranged from my children, friends were worried, I was depressed and my self-esteem had all but disappeared. The only thing that was positive is that I functioned at my job and had not YET fallen into financial disarray. Notice I said yet.
    In some ways I was living in a fantasy world and my false pride told me I was not in trouble, yet the other part of me said I was. I was truly at a turning point.
    My life was kept together by the use of booze, drugs and using other people to escape reality. Drugs and booze had not YET become daily, other escapes, some involving computer use, had.
    There are literally millions of people out there that had been in the same position as me, and had transformed their lives to a point they had contentment, hope and serenity.
    I wanted what they had and from somewhere got the courage at this turning point to choose recovery.
    There was and is no one right way for me to get there, but I decided to take action. Through some trained professionals (the start happened to be a marriage counsellor) I was exposed to the 12 steps, a group approach and other support. I was not ready for a 12 step fellowship. I did go for intense counselling and finally decided to take action as a life priority.
    This reading from the book Alcoholics Anonymous stuck out:
    Half measures availed us nothing.  We stood at the turning point.
    We asked his protection and care with complete abandon.
    - Alcoholics Anonymous,  p. 59

    This made sense to me. I had to stop trying to do things my way-in half measures. I had to do what millions of “WE” had done, and get the help and take the action as a top priority in my life. With gratitude and after continuous work, things turned and the turning point was left behind and life moved positively forward.
    Please feel free to contact me if I can provide more detail. Tomorrow I’ll blog about some of the promises that were made known to me and in fact came true!


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  • Date / Time:

    WHAT IS THE PAYOFF??

    WHAT’S THE PAYOFF???
    Yesterday, I talked about the turning point I was at in my life.
    Through a series of events and people, I made a decision to transform my life, and took a journey I know call “Co-Creative Process of Life Recovery” With an underlying foundation of the 12 steps, this process is a holistic approach to regaining a healthy balanced life.
    What was promised that I wanted and have got. Initially these were the things I sought.
    Promises
    If we are painstaking about this phase of our development,
    we will be amazed before we are half way through.
    We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
    We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
    We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
    No matter how far down the scale we have gone,
    we will see how our experience can benefit others.
    That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
    We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
    Self-seeking will slip away.
    Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
    Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
    We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
    We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us
    what we could not do for ourselves.
    Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 83-84, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.
    This was a start point. When these things had come true, self-esteem had returned, I had experienced a transformation, personal relationships with family and friends had improved, and in my case, fortunately my marriage had come back together.
    I was able to work on other key areas of my life with a whole new foundation, and to get the life I wanted, continue to work with others on specifics’.
    If this is something that interests you for your own life, feel free to contact me through www.hopeserenity.ca, and I’d be pleased to share in detail the journey that life and recovery has been for me. I would not change my life today for anything from my past.


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  • Date / Time:

    EVER FEEL INFERIOR?

    EVER FEEL INFERIOR?
    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
    --Eleanor Roosevelt
    Do you constantly-inside of you-feel inferior? Be honest with yourself! If you answered yes, do you want to do something about it?
    These questions were prompted by the following reading, and remembering a time when I answered “yes” to both questions:

    “In this moment, we are the best we can be. Today, we can work at loving the best in ourselves and not fearing the worst. We are truly wonderful and growing people with gifts and qualities that make us who we are. No one can make us feel inferior without our consent.

    Now, we are in charge of our lives and growth. We can choose to let go of old negative thinking. We can choose to think positive, loving thoughts about ourselves. We never need to be victims again to addiction, daily living or to other people. We have options today. We can choose to grow in a positive recovery program. We can choose to have loving, affirming people in our lives.

    Today I will stick with the winners. I am a winner today and every day.”
    At this point in my journey of life recovery, I can honestly say I am a winner. This did not happen on my own. It came as a result of a co-creative/holistic approach to change and involved several components and I was led by a “coach” who guided me and helped me set goals. The journey included a “group” approach and the 12 step principles, the development of a spiritual (not religious) approach to life, many outside specialists and “winners” as situations developed and a focus on balance. The journey has made me one of, not inferior to any person, in other words, in my own way, a winner.
    If I can help you to look at a way out, and at no obligation, please look at hopeserenity.ca and through a chat, you may find answers that will prevent you from ever feeling inferior again.


    No Comments

  • Date / Time:

    DENIAL and YOU

    DENIAL and YOU!
    The last thing I ever wanted in my life was to be an addict.
    There I was a model of success to most of my outside world. Good job, nice home a great family, community volunteer, yada yada yada. Sure I had problems, but doesn't everyone.
    As a part of a marriage break up (yes, another one), a therapist had the nerve to suggest substance abuse may be a big issue.
    That statement was met with total DENIAL.
    My friend Patrick Meninga wrote today in his "Spiritual River" the following words. As you read, substitute whatever word you want for alcohol:
    "Denial is all about trying to stay on the hamster wheel and appear somewhat normal. The alcoholic tries to maintain and stay somewhat happy through being self medicated all the time. This becomes a difficult balancing act because the alcoholic will realize that they cannot really enjoy themselves with their drinking unless they let lose completely and drink as much as they want. But at the same time, they know that they have a tendency to get into trouble when they do so, and so they struggle to restrict their drinking in order to maintain control.

    This struggle for control plays a central role in the life of the alcoholic and it cannot be overcome without complete surrender. The surrender is defined by the absence of this struggle for control. Once this is dropped, then recovery can begin. But if the alcoholic is still trying to maintain this struggle, then they are not ready to stop drinking. Until they do let go of this great struggle, they are still trapped in denial, believing that they might somehow both enjoy and control their drinking at the same time.

    Surrender happens when the alcoholic transcends this struggle for control and accepts the idea that they could abstain from alcohol entirely.

    This is not so much an action step. It is sort of like the opposite of action. Surrender is a release. The alcoholic is letting go of something."I found out in my own life Denial is not a river in Egypt, and surrendered. It started a great journey. There are some questions on my web site (www.hopeserenity.ca) you might want to ask yourself and answer honestly when you are in private. They may help you to break through and start your own recovery process!


    No Comments

  • Date / Time:

    I HAVE TRUST ISSUES


    I HAVE TRUST ISSUES
    Learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks.
    -- Isaac Watts

    Funny how many people I have run into convey that they have "trust issues". Can you relate? As Watts quote says, learning to trust can be very hard.
    For me, I lost trust initially in my family, specifically my mother, at a fairly young age. As life progressed and I started acting out and find ways to escape reality, I lost trust in myself. In my first marriage, I was the betrayer and in return was betrayed. I can relate to those who have "trust issues".
    We marry for better or for worse, we expect some ups and downs, but once we feel we've been betrayed, we are lost.
    If we've been lied to so many times we can no longer think straight, if we've been fooled into thinking we are at fault for an impossible financial situation because we don't work, don't earn enough, or because we spend too much, or if we've been manipulated into believing that by co-signing a loan all our problems would disappear, we've been betrayed. The person we thought we were supposed to trust and to turn to for emotional support is not being trustworthy or supportive.
    Getting through betrayal is a long process, one that both parties must be willing to commit to in the most profound way. If one party is unwilling to be consistently trustworthy and the other is unwilling to forgive, the cracked foundation only crumbles further. Funny how that works.
    There are many of us who state they have trust issues, but then claim to have a deep and abiding faith is a "Higher Power" with an active spiritual life. Can this be so if we don't trust?
    I had to work extremely hard at my low point to restore my self-respect. Over time, it returned. I had to find a "Higher Power" beyond my conscious self that I could trust and have faith in. It came almost through a series of small steps and these included learning to trust "me" again with the help of a "higher power"

    By the time I started the process of life recovery just for me, I trusted people too little and had lost all trust in or sense of a higher power. As importantly, I had lost trust in myself and without self trust, external trust is impossible. To accept trust in self has been lost was an act that led to a dose of both reality and humility.
    Today, with the help of a higher power, I trust again, and over time, have learned where to place trust with more accuracy. Today I trust myself to act with proper intentions.
    Have you got trust issues?
    My experiences with dealing with trust may be of benefit to you. Have a look at hopeserenity.ca.


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