Katy Manna  

Life is good. I love how spring has a way of bringing everything back to life, and that include aspects of myself. After a difficult year personally, I have been finally feeling like myself again. I can really see how different I was feeling even 4 months ago compared to where I am now. I feel alive again, I feel like Katy.
The clarity about my past registers more and more. I see how amazing it is that we choose certain things, that I chose certain things, because of the desire to always feels safe.
The notion of safe between the spirit and the human self are totally different.
When the human in us feels safe, I often find that the spirit in us feels caged, trapped. We seek the things that are tangible, that are solid. We live without faith that our deepest desires and even our needs will be ever met. We may go after "it", but stop short of seeing the miraculous.
This is a great difference between the spirit and the human self. Our spirit is fully capable of seeing the bigger picture and knowing that we are always safe. ALWAYS.
The human body is just the vessel that allows our spirit to experience our greatest potential here. The human body, the human self is to be applauded for all of its hard work. We get our personality traits from this human self, we get so much from it.
When we tip the scales though and forget that the spirit within us is ultimately what our human self has to answer to, we find ourselves frustrated and in unfulfilled places. We wonder why this person, place or thing has not delivered the happiness we expected it to.
Life to me is about not always feelings safe, but allowing that higher knowing in. Allowing my spirit the space to fully express itself. I can see that a lot of my turmoil a year ago was when I was allowing my spirit and my human self to dialogue so clearly that my life could not be the same. That transition often times brings turmoil because of the way we are shedding some of that human aspect of us that needs to feel safe by the physical world. 
I am thankful that I was aware enough to know that the turmoil was a deeper opening, that I was being pulled into deeper places within myself.
I realize that if I had leaned to heavily on my human side and let my spirit become filtered out, the turmoil would have become a soul sickness. That it would have felt toxic and tragic.
The real essence behind feeling safe is when we are so connected to our spirit and our Source that we know that will always be okay. That life is to be lived and not meant to be to packaged in this beautiful little box. When we do not live in that box, we are free to paint our fullest and most beautiful expressions on canvas.When we push ourselves in boxes, filling the expectations of what we are "supposed" to do, we are cutting off our potential and now allowing the true sense of joy really in.