Katy Manna  

Women and Sexuality- A Path to a Healthier Culture

Everywhere we turn there are images of beautiful, sexy vibrant women. Look at any magazine cover, turn on your television set or even hop online to your home page. Women exuding sexuality are EVERYWHERE. So why then is one of main causes of divorce sex? Why is it that approximately %35 of women, in conservative polls, say they wouldn’t care if they never had sex again and that it is really hard to get in the mood?

It is easy to assume that raising children, working full time jobs (whether in the home or not), financial stress all play major roles in this. And certainly, there is truth to that for many people. However, give a woman $1000.00 to spend on her self, prescribe a weekly massage, or a hot bubble bath and see how much easier it is to get her to do that. The secret behind this is that it feels like it is something for them, and for them only.

The sad truth is that millions of women feel that sex is just another thing to check of on their to-do list in the lengthy line of responsibilities they feel bogged down with. It is something they “do”, not something they experience. Somewhere along the way that sexy woman on the inside decided to take and nap- in a long, frumpy, terry cloth night gown.

What is so deeply misunderstood is that sexuality is not about looking like a model, being there to only please your partner, not having a fat role become too obvious, or a do it and get it over with kind of job.

Sexuality is an innate part of who we are. Sex is a place where our spirit can connect us to a higher place, a place where our creativity and sense of self is free. This is a place of self expression at its most vulnerable state, where we are truly merging with another person. And not only that, but sex drastically reduces stress because of the hormones released during orgasm. The hormones released also allow us to feel more connected to the person we share this orgasm with as well. There are biological, spiritual and emotional reasons for these feelings of euphoria and connectedness.

If you are a woman who has fallen into the rut there are many things you can do to ignite your spark again. One thing that can really help is to not buy those trashy magazines that tell you all about how to please him, what the best positions are or the ones that suggest that you need to look like a Barbie for you to enjoy sex and for your partner to want you.

The biggest problems with these approaches are because in part they are lies. And when it comes down to the Truth, you need to learn about what makes YOU feel sexy. What makes YOU enjoy sex. And in discovering that, we learn more about the experience of it all instead of the act of it all. The act of sex is fine, but that is not where sexuality and fulfillment live.

Sexuality and fulfillment live in the experience of our sexual acts. To experience what we are dong we need to be conscious. Experiencing means to be alive to what everything feels like, having your senses fully awake. Being conscious of what feels good and what doesn’t. What we like and what we don’t like. What we like to give and what we like to receive. Being in the conscious and in the moment also means that we are not in our heads wondering if that stupid fat roll just made its big debut.

Here are some tips to get your sexual and sensual side revved up:

• When you see something with texture, touch it. Touch it with your finger tips, and with the front and back of your hands. Close your eyes if you can and really feel it.
• When something smells good, take a minute to take a few deep breaths. What does it feel like to allow it all in?
• When you sit down to eat pay attention. Avoid just chewing and swallowing. Smell the food, put it up to your lips and feel it. Place the food in your mouth and see what it feels like rolling around in there. How does it feel on your tongue? On the roof of your mouth or the insides of your cheeks?
• When you listen to music can you feel it? How does it make you feel?
• Allow yourself to fantasize without judgment and unedited. Do this a couple times each day.

In our world today we are over stimulated with sex without meaning. We have left the importance of a healthy sexual appetite behind and replaced it with the need to work, raise our children and be all that we feel we are supposed to be. In truth, it is really traumatic for our soul to be cut off from the everyday sensual experiences that have the ability to ignite the passion that it craves. When we stop seeing sex as a chore and accept that we are sexual creatures we will begin to create a more healthy culture that views thriving sexuality as a pure and powerful place for us to reach new levels in fulfillment.

Katy Manna is a Conscious Living Coach in Baltimore, Md

Katy@LiveWithTheLightsOn.com

www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com