Katy Manna  

The Only New Year’s Resolution You’ll Ever Need To Make

A guide to staying on track with this year’s promises to yourself

It’s that time of year again. The time when we review what we want to change about ourselves or our lives. We make pacts and promises to all who will listen: “I’m going to lose weight,” “I’m going to quit smoking,” “I going to the gym everyday.” We jump on our band wagon of new hopes and dreams and move full speed ahead

Now it’s a week or month later we find ourselves sitting with the two by four that we regularly use to beat ourselves over our heads for not having stuck with our goal AGAIN. And we have an audience. All those we people we so proudly shared our goal with and who we asked to check up on us are now nodding their heads with full understanding because they too have been there before.

The fact is that most of us are not able to make such life changes simply because it’s a new day in a new year. Using this notion as the impetus to reshape of our life is a faulty foundation for change. That’s because without a deep and real internal shift, creating big life changes is an uphill battle and nothing else. Resolving to make a significant internal shift will allow you to change any part of your life.

But how do you make an internal shift?

Growing the desire to change is the first step in the journey. This is the easy part because lots of us have oodles of desire at this time of year. Unfortunately, there isn’t much meaning behind it. True desire capable of creating lasting change requires clear motivation. It’s critical that we understand our why – what is driving us and where it comes from. Are you going to the gym because a family member wants you to? Be clear with yourself about not only what you desire, but why you want what you want.

Once you understand your motivation, begin to look at the areas in your life that are working against your desire. I call these your “trigger points.” Too many unexplored trigger points create the space and opportunity for your goal to be left unachieved. Avoiding trigger points requires that you get clear about what happens to you in a trigger point moment. For example, “I have a hard time avoiding junk food in the afternoon.” Look at what is going on in your life around those times of the day. Observe yourself: How do you feel physically? What are you thinking? How do you feel emotionally? Next, determine how you will  fill the hole: What can you do that will support your desired new life? What thoughts are most supportive of your goal?

While you are working hard to change aspects of your life, feelings may arise that are painful, difficult or confusing. It’s important to have someone you can turn to in these times. Establish your support team ahead of time and let them know you’ll be calling on them when you need them.

One of the best ways to reach a goal is to create an accountability notebook. A place where you can mark and track your progress. Write down why your new way of life feels good, what you are getting from it and what is working. Be sure to boast about all that you are doing to reach your goal. Also, write about the times you feel like jumping off a cliff. The key is to write about it all – the whole journey. To bring consciousness to all the phases of change, from identifying and growing your desire to following your action plan and overcoming obstacles along the way.

Clearly, making a New Year’s resolution that sticks requires a lot of time, effort, self-esteem, as well as deep introspection – more than most of us give to the process. It is essential that you be the happiest, healthiest you in this lifetime. Honor your Self, take the change process seriously without taking yourself too seriously. Know that going within is the only way to truly create the long-term and deeply gratifying change you seek. When you build your support team, but be sure that you are the first person on your list.

You have value, you are a priority and you deserve to live life to the fullest.