Katy Manna  

Here I am.  It's been a couple of weeks and there was some back and forth between me and the ex.  Nothing nasty or bad, but still painful.  It is really hard to feel as though I am in different worlds with someone that I so wish could "get me".  He really wanted to understand, I really wanted to help him understand and no matter what I would say would create more questions or further the confusion.  I had to say that he will not likely get his resolve through talking with me.  That if I could help him understand I would, but that seems like an impossibility at the moment.  I will say above it all, I am so at peace with this decision.  I feel like I can breathe again.  Things were rough for a while and I was feeling more and more like the air was being sucked out of me.  Life here at my house was not a soft place to fall, it was a place where I felt I was walking on egg shells.  After six months of that I was exhausted.  I am so grateful that it was for six months.  I could see that it was not going to get any better and I had to call it quits.  Everything is SO peaceful here.  I have starting putting the house back together and starting something fresh.  The cycles of life amaze me.  The Birth, manifestations and destruction.  They all have their place and I bless it all.  The past year of my life has felt like a storm coming through and not in a bad way.  It felt like a strong storm that was getting rid of the deadwood off the trees to allow the healthy branches to remain and flourish and for the deadwood to move on.  I am excited now about what my life will look like, what is already strating to take shape.  I keep getting this image of myself of a jet ski holding on, going up and down, at times catching air and feeling like, "Oh crap, will the water catch me!?" And boom!  There it is, and with much laughter I remember that I am always caught, sometimes the ride just get's bumpy.  But it's all enjoyable when I stay in my "observer" mode.  That is what has kept me together I think.  Not just the prayer, meditation, Yoga, writing, talking.  All those things are essential.  But what they do is remind me to observe my own life as if I was watching a spectator sport.  The watch, observe and take it in without taking it all personally.  That is where the lessons lie.  That is where I take note of what is working and what is not.  It's too tricky to be in the game fully and to make sense of it.  Pulling myself out and really seeing all angels reminds me that I am playing with this illusion everyday.  There isn't much to take so seriously.  Amazing.  I'm here to enjoy, love, learn, prosper and be of service.  I can do that! It's what I thrive off of.  I am looking forward to learning more and serving more.  This is all very exciting, a whole new world opening up.  Well, the whole world has been here wide open, it's me that is catching up with it a little.  
Katy Manna www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com Now offering memberships!