John McGrann  

I had to laugh when I read extracts from Adrian Maile’s book: Secret Habits of Successful Bastards. It’s a self help book for those wishing to be successful but who are too nice. Adrian has many tips on how to be an SB on his LinkedIn group including some of my favourites:

• Make mountains out of molehills
• Be confrontational
• Expect the unachievable
• Put people down
• Change the rules to suit you

No doubt many of you recognise these characteristics from people you have worked with or worked for in the past. To get to the top it seems you have to trample over everyone in your way, act in a nauseating manner and slide knives in many backs.

The choice appears to be either adopt these behaviours and succeed in your chosen career; or stay a nice guy or girl, and never hit the dizzy heights.

In reality, we have all worked for successful people who were to also nice people. I can think of at least six bosses I admired, respected and liked from my past. However, it is the SBs who stand out especially if they have had a detrimental effect on our careers or even our lives.

So what are the deep rooted issues with these SBs that cause these behaviours? In my humble opinion, many SBs share the following afflictions:

• Incompetence - usually struggling academically and professionally
• Boring and Friendless - all they can talk about is themselves and work
• Bullies - abusing the power of their position and ruling by fear
• Spineless bosses - incapable or unwilling to bring these SBs into line

A man once said to me: ‘Never underestimate anyone .....and never overestimate anyone either.’ The latter stuck with me and over the years I have realised that SBs like all bullies are selfish and cowardly - so hit them hard when you can...even little acts of rebellion can upset them.

A few strategies to keep them awake at night:

• Find their past screw-ups and inefficiencies - let them know you know
• Use FACTS not EMOTIONS - easier to gain support with facts
• Take out grievances for poor management style
• Argue the toss forever about the SB’s appraisal of yourself
• Socialise often with colleagues causing the SB to get paranoid
• Refer to the ‘autocratic culture’ often of your department
• Send up great reports and ideas to the boss of the SB’s boss
• Join staff associations, trade unions etc.
• Use company communications to promote work / life balance, anti stress, progressive policies etc.

Winning is distressing these SBs by exposing them as sad, limited, lonely individuals who despite the wonderful challenges and opportunities in life struggle to be ‘successful’ employing 100% of their energy on an activity which should consume less than 30% of your entire life. Work to live and widen the scope of ‘success’ to embrace family, friends, interests, travel and great personal challenges.

Don’t expect to change or beat the SBs at their sad game. Don’t worry about it either. Find a job with a nice boss or nice colleagues and leave them in the mire as much as (legally) possible before you depart their workplace.

This is the Kiss My A**e strategy.

How do you fare on the Bastardometer?

http://www.successful-bastards.com/bastardometer.aspx