Rising Above: Taking Your Life Back  

This really wasn't an easy poem for me to write.  I rarely talk about how I felt seeing my mom go through her depression when I was younger.  But I remember all those moments where she would lock herself in the bathroom or her bedroom and cry for hours at a time.  She wouldn't come out, she'd just stay in bed or sit in the bathtub.  I watched my mom go from being this strong woman that she once was to being broken down by my father and allowing him to have complete control over her life.  It really wasn't until I found myself in the same situation that I began to understand how she felt back then.  I felt the same way in my marriage after every fight I was in.  I remember the numerous tears I cried as I sat alone in the dark bathroom, afraid to come out and face my ex.   Then it dawned on me that by staying, I was being exactly like my mom.   My mom was afraid of being alone and raising two kids, me and my brother, that she wouldn't leave my dad.  I also think because he broke her spirit down that she thought she didn't deserve better and wouldn't be good enough for another guy.  I admit it, I do wish she would have left my dad so I wouldn't have had to go through all the abuse that I did.  Because she chose to stay, she and I both were trapped in the victim role.  Well, I am not going to take after my mom.  I will not make the same mistake she made by staying.  I chose to leave and chose to find a new life for myself.  To me, it's better to be alone then to hurt all the time.  Yes, I do have the same insecurities of not being good enough for someone later on down the road, but I'm working on getting my self-esteem back.  I just know that I have to protect myself first and look after me as well as future generations later on should I have children later on in life.  Because I know that I wouldn't want them subject to abuse.  So now on a new journey in my life I embark to find a life filled with love, hope and laughter because I know that is the kind of life that I deserve to have.


Tears In The Dark by Jenna Kandyce Linch

She sits all alone in the dark, tears streaming down her face
Wishing there was someone who could give her a much needed embrace.
Here she is after another terrifying night
In which she was a victim in a ruthless fight.

For the time, she's safe from him locked behind this door
From a lost battle, her body still feels sore.
She always said she would not marry someone like her dad
Yet somehow she ended up with a man who treats her just as bad.

As she rocks back and forth, she remembers those days as a young girl
The events of those times in her mind begin to unfurl.
Most nights she couldn't get any sleep
Because after her parents fought, she'd hear her mom weep.

In her room or bathroom, her mom would hide
Never coming out or letting anyone inside.
Of her former self she became a shadow
While into a deep sea of depression she sunk low.

The things she watched her mom go through were unspeakable
Of such cruelty she never knew one could be capable.
So many times she wished she could comfort her mom and wipe her tears
Living in a house turned war zone, she too had her own fears.

She never knew how her mom felt until she found herself in the same situation
When her own marriage became a battlefield on which she couldn't win.
At first everything seemed to go all right
But things changed as her husband grew into a stranger who filled her with fright.

Although he said he loved her, she knew it wasn't okay
For love shouldn't hurt and feel this way.
Every time she took him back and stayed, the abuse grew worse
This marriage was not a blessing but rather a curse.

With his brainwashing, her self esteem he destroyed
Soon left in her heart was an empty void.
He threatened her and manipulated her into silence
So she'd lock herself up in the bathroom to escape his violence.

As she looked in the mirror, she saw a bit of her mom staring back
Suddenly she realized how her mom felt after each attack.
All to well she knew of the tears that were cried
The feelings of guilt and shame making one feel they'd emotionally died.

Until now, she never understood why her mom stayed
It was the insecurity of being alone that made her afraid.
She allowed him to have complete control
So her and her daughter were trapped in the victim role.

Wiping her tears, she doesn't want to make that same mistake
Leaving and getting out is the chance she's willing to take.
The pain, the endless tears, the lack of love are not worth it anymore
She deserves better then to relive her life from before.

Her mom she chooses not to take after
What she wants is a life filled with love, hope, and laughter.
For to her it is better on a journey alone to embark
Then to keep crying these tears in the dark.



'Tears In The Dark' Copyright © Jenna Kandyce Linch