Healing Dream

The following is something I wrote on paper soon after a visitation from Jade on my birthday, 9/17/2001. The experience gave me the hope and encouragement I needed to get out of my bed of grief and continue living a productive life. Although I certainly, still today, continue grieving for my angel, Jade, I know that she is cared for, safe, and caring for me, her father, five sisters and nieces and nephews.

Here is my experience:

My 17 year old daughter, Jade, was taken from me on September 1, 2001. She was lost in a car accident that was caused by a drunk driver. My birthday is September 17th. I celebrated my 43rd birthday that year. As you might be able to imagine, I was drowning in the depths of grief and despair, because of the loss of my beloved child. The following is an account of the birthday present I received from Jade that year. This present changed my life and gave me the strength and hope I needed to go on with my life.

It was after midnight on the morning of my birthday. I was sleeping soundly, having taken sleeping medication. My daughter, Jade, was at the end of my bed shaking my big toe, awakened me! I sat up in the bed irritated with Jade for waking me. (Jade had a habit that everyone in the family found annoying. When anyone was lounging, with no shoes on, she would come by, grab a big toe, and shake it ...hard!) I was ready to chastise her when I remembered her presence was not part of this world anymore. I was overjoyed, to say the least, to see her.

Jade was standing at the foot of my bed, glowing. She was a beautiful girl, tall (5'9") with a radiant smile. If possible, she was even more beautiful. There was a halo effect of light around her. She was not alone. There was someone with her, standing next to her. I have to admit I was not interested in that person. Oh no, my Jadie was here, and all I wanted was to be with her. I ignored that person after a first casual glance.

Jade said to me, "Mom, Mom, I got permission to come and see you! This is my teacher." She made me look at the person and acknowledge his presence. He was short, at least, compared to Jade. He was dressed in a white robe, with a white rope belt around the waist. His hair was long and silver. His eyes were twinkling blue. He looked annoyed. It was as if his being there was not of his choosing. He was in a hurry to get this chore out of his way. Well, I was also annoyed! I did not want to pay attention to him. He was taking time away from my precious Jade.

I turned my attention back to Jade. IWords do not do justice to my happiness tin seeing her! She said to me, "I received permission to come and see you. I'm all right. I'm all right, Mom. Don't worry about me. I'm in school and I'm learning. This is my teacher." Again, she made me look at the little man. His features softened and he did not appear as annoyed. However, he did seem impatient. I knew he wanted to be on his way. I knew he would be taking my Jade with him. I did not want her to go. I put my arms out to reach for her. She bent down and kissed my forehead. She smiled that radiant smile that now literally glowed. "I love you, Mom. Don't worry about me. I'm all right. I have a teacher and I'm learning." She stressed this point, "I'm learning."

I woke sitting up in bed, with my arms reaching out. My toe, where she had touched it was tingling. My forehead, where she had kissed me, was also tingling. A strange feeling of relief flooded through my entire body. My baby was all right. She came to me, with her "teacher" and told me herself.

I have never, before or after, received such a wonderful gift. I am sure I may never receive
another that is as healing. I was able to go back to work and continue with my life because of Jade's gift. Only a dream, you say? I don't care what anyone thinks. My daughter convinced her angel, teacher, guide, whatever you want to call him, that she had to go to her mother and tell her, personally, she was "all right." I am willing to bet, she shook that angel's toe until he gave in to bring her to see me!

Now, when my grief starts to get the best of me, I remember when she came to see me, and somehow, I am also "all right".

And rain, like teardrops fall as darkness closes in
Echoes of your Laughter, stilled are whispered in the wind