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• Archived Blog Post

  Date / Time: 9/20/2008 4:17 AM UTC

  There's always one
  

  I know you may think this is funny but I used to tell people all the time that “Everyone will experience at least ONE PERSON in their life that they had NO business messing with. “.  
  
  Now, you gotta follow me on this logic.  You know, we all have had our share of dates, relationships, boyfriends and girlfriends, etc.    And yes, we all know that we’ve had bad ones and good ones.  However, I’m a firm believer that we all will have that ONE person that we just can’t get out of our system.  This one person who makes us abandon our values, change our ways, bend our perspectives, or just simple makes us act a FOOL!!!
  
  Come on ladies, you know the one I’m talking about.  Remember when you used to say “I never will stay with a man who cheats on me!”.  The next thing you know, you’re with THIS knucklehead and 4 cheats, 3 skeezers, 2 caught in the actions and a ‘partridge in a pear tree’ later, you are STILL dealing with this knucklehead!
  
  OOOOOO, don’t swell up too quick, fellas.  Remember, when you used to say “Ain’t no female ever goin play me for a sucka.  I ain’t no punk!”?  The next thing you know, this female got you so strung out that she has you waiting by the phone for her to call while she’s getting her swerve on with another DUDE!!
  
  And then what happens? You guessed it, the CRASH AND BURN syndrome! What is the CRASH AND BURN syndrome??  Very simple.  When you finally realize that you have been ‘played’, ‘turned out’, or ‘taken advantage of’, you feel like you’ve crashed landing.  Your whole foundation has been destroyed because you allowed this person to remain in your life infinitely longer than they should have.  Your friends don’t look at you the same (at least, in your mind).  You have lost your confidence.  You develop significant doubt about who YOU are.  Like a major CRASH, you feel that your whole life is destroyed because this ONE person threw a monkey wrench into your program.  Then comes, THE BURN!!  Once you have built yourself back up, you break out the Blow Torch and BURN anyone who crosses your path.  If anyone even HINTS at being like the people who tried you in the past, then you break out the lighter fluid and BOOM, THAT’S A FIRE!!
  
  Well, here’s the part I really want to share.  You needed this and no matter how painful it was, it was a good thing!  Now, I am not advocating that anyone EVER go through this but here’s my logic.    Contrary to popular belief, you have NOT lost your flow.  Your friends?? They are just happy that you got that FOOT DRAGGA out of your life and out of your system.  Your family?   They are happy that you are happy and back in their life.  Here’s three simple points to help you look at this situation in a different perspective.  One, you are not weak, or a punk, or soft because of what happened.  No one can take the essence of YOU away from you.  Second, remember that whoever you meet NEXT is NOT necessarily going to be like the person who just tried you.  So before you break out the blow torch, give the person a chance to prove themselves before you bar-b-q them like a chicken wing.   Finally, the pain you go through today is in preparation for the blessings you will receive in the future.  You may have thought that you lost time by dealing with this person but what you did was gain a whole new level of YOU.  You now know what you don’t want and what you won’t deal with in the future.  Don’t look at your life as lost in time.  You are stronger for what you’ve gone through and even stronger since you’ve come out of it.  Always remember, the lessons you learned from this limited liaison will lift you towards the life you are destined to live.
  
  
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