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Shattered Lives: Addie Carone

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SHATTERED LIVES with Donna R. Gore, “LadyJustice”


LadyJustice met Addie Carone, a former social worker and matriarch of the Carone family at a Survivor’s of Homicide meeting.  She had the honor of becoming involved in their lives in the most intimate ways, particularly as a volunteer court escort in Hartford, CT following the March 1987 homicide.

Adam Zach, a privileged kid with a “little Napolean-like demeanor” and affluent family, took offense to an off-handed remark about “spit shining the bar,” left  the tavern and returned to shoot in the back, a fine young man, named Peter Carone.


0:31 Donna Gore

Good evening and welcome to Shattered Lives. This is Donna R. Gore AKA "LadyJustice" and we here at the Shattered Lives Radio Show. I'm very excited to welcome you to this evening show. Taking you beyond the details of the crime and the perpetrator and getting to the heart of what crimes that is in the family experience and what they need in the aftermath of the crime. Prior to each show please go to www.donnagore.com or imaginepublicity.com to read the background of the case, as well as the organization featured. The week before our show is aired and please don't forget that in case you cannot listen to our show live from 5 to 6 p.m. Eastern you can always listen using our archival feature within the next 24 hours, just look for the big red heart with the crack. So, good evening again everyone one and welcome to Shattered Lives. This is Donna AKA "LadyJustice" welcoming you again and I have to say it's a beautiful day here in Connecticut and I hope that is all well where you are. Before I bring on our various team guests it's someone that I've been very much looking for to having on for several weeks that she is a popular and a busy lady, so I would like to have her today. I wanted to make a couple of announcement and they have to do with our very good friend and my mentor of course Susan Murphy Milano, the intimate partner homicide, the expert who unfortunately a few weeks ago was diagnosed with stage four cancer in a few organs but I have to tell you that since that time it has been a situation where you're looking at it in terms of the glasses being half full.

2:34 Donna Gore

She is being treated by a wonderful facility, a wonderful doctor with many different methods and she has got a wonderful group of supportive people. However, we are looking for helping the member of Arius if you can possibly. She has a brand new blog that I would set and it's www.conqueringcancer.ne and her autobiography holding my hand through hell will be out soon and you can also go to her website murphymilano.com and pre-order that and of course therevolutionary.connecttheabuse.com materials if you know with someone or yourself are endangered in a domestic violence situation, please, please do go because it is very helpful. And I have to say, Delilah Jones, my co-pilot here, my friend, my PR manager is the heart and soul of Imagine Publicity. She works wonders with all of her clients, she can do simple to complex thing through her specialties of social marketing. And I have to say that I'm very proud she has just jumped in with both feet and to assist in every way possible. I'd like to call her Annie Sullivan because she has done...

4:08 Delilah Jones


4:09 Donna Gore

Miracle for Susan and I just -- I can't tell you how proud I am of the way she has responded to the call and everyone she has a friend like Delilah. So, Delilah thank you so much for what you're doing with Susan, thank you so much for...

4:20 Delilah Jones

Well, thank you Donna truly I'm not the miracle worker I just -- you know I support and hold somebody up but does about it but, I'm really just...

4:33 Donna Gore

Well, you did a lot more than that, but thank you for saying so. And everyone you just need to -- you know if you have an unsung hero in your life, you have to once in a while tell people without them in and here is the unsung hero here so. Anyway, just with the people know you know I applaud you and thank you so much for what you're doing. So, I don't know what do you want to say about me, do you have anything you'd like to tell? You know pretty much in and out and then will get to Annie in just a minute.

5:03 Delilah Jones

(Laughs). I think Gwen and I inviting to and let our listeners know what's coming up next week, which is you single handedly almost put this all together. You and Denny Griffin who is a true crime author of the Las Vegas Mob historian and he's also the host of Crime Wire right here on Blog Talk Radio. The two of you are getting together and taking a toupe of the Henry C. Lee Institute which I think it's jut totally exciting and then you're also gonna broadcast live a two-hour special. Live from the Henry Lee Institute, so and interview Dr. Lee. So, I am really excited about that, I'm gonna be run in this switchboard I won't be because I won't be a co-host, but I will be listening in and we've already had Tim Palmbach and he was so engaging. So, I'm looking forward to that on Thursday this coming Thursday, June 28, 2013.

6:15 Donna Gore

Well, we really going to love that? I guess -- I thought that you're busy.

6:19 Delilah Jones

I guess so.

6:23 Donna Gore

I'm crazy funny. I'm really looking for to it such an honor and I think it will be very rewarding and very informational for all of our listeners. So, that's one new thing we have on tap. We've got a lot of new things on tap and that's why we're here, to do what we do. So, without further adieu let me tell you a little bit about my dear friend, Addie Carone. Addie Carone is also a Connecticut resident. In fact, we just live a few miles away from each other and we are -- we know each other like virtue of homicide unfortunately. As you might have read in the promotional post that Delilah put up. Addie's twin son, Peter, was killed in 1987 by virtue of an offended comment while watching a sporting event at a local watering hole and it seems turn very bad from there and we've learn just how evil of this person was that committed the homicide and I'm not gonna say his name because I don't think he deserves it. We'll just say AV for the sake of discussion and this was ordeal that spans many, many years and that's what makes us so unique and I'm so gratified that Addie has come on and agreed to do this because she could've just said "let's forget about it" but she is being very nice to all of us in trying to help educate. So, I will bring here on Addie, please welcome to Shattered Lives. Thank you so much for being on with us this evening.

8:11 Addie Carone

Well, thank you, Donna. It's my pleasure to be with you and also with you, Delilah. It's a first for me, so it's gonna be very interesting, thank you.

8:22 Delilah Jones

I'm totally honored.

8:23 Addie Carone

Well, thank you.

8:25 Donna Gore

Well, I am too because you've always been a heroine to me, very dignified lady and in fact they should tell people that after my dad's homicide in 1981 when I got story with survival as a homicide. I was doing other volunteerism so to speaking with the crime victims and doing Court as courting at the Hartford Superior Court and one of the cases that I had the pleasure of sitting in on and trying to advice what with Addie and her family going to the entire process and let me tell you with -- you know it was really an eye-opening experience, it was an honor to be with her and she handled everything with such grace and it's something I will never forget, it will always stay with me. And so from there...

9:17 Addie Carone

Oh, you're really fine. Thank you, Donna.

9:19 Donna Gore

You're welcome. From there, we begin our third year relationship. We have a little bit of time and there where we've lost touch but I've always thought of her often, so now here we are on the national radio show. Addie, there is many things that we could talk about and like I say I want to focus to be not in the perpetrator, but on other aspects because I think it would be more helpful to our audience and knowing that it's unusual that it was a convicted murderer who has let out and ban and that he was a fugitive for many years. And your case took on international proportion and that he showed out in one country. And that the perpetrator's family actually aided and bed him and being able to stay under the radar, despite publicity and perhaps some pending lawsuits. With all of that going on Addie, as you look back over the years you know, your devastating lawsuit with Peter. How do you -- do you think that you have come full circle in some way and can you tell us right now in 2012, is there a particular emotion or feeling that you grapple with today as oppose to one it was so new and fresh?

10:48 Addie Carone

Well, you know the murder occurred as you well know in 1987, Donna, and that's 25 years ago.

10:58 Donna Gore


10:59 Addie Carone

But I also have to wear this to it, for me, the emotions run very, very high because at that time, in March, my husband of 35 years had been diagnosed with lung cancer in January and was given just six months to live. So when Peter was killed, he then was quite ill at the time. So not only did I have to cope with the problems that occur when you're losing a wonderful husband and father as he was and coping with all the medical things that have to be done, I also had to remember that we have something serious going on which was the murder of our son. And part of that was a little bit sad because particularly towards the end, I don't think that Vince was quite aware of what had happened.

12:05 Donna Gore


12:07 Addie Carone

Except there was one very, very small time which was at our wake in the viewing of Peter and I do remember we've been saying to him "I'll see you soon" and so I think he did. He was aware that his time was short, so hopefully my wishes that they are together. Now, I don't wanna add to this but at the same time my mother who was 87 years old was also died, she had colon cancer. The operation appeared successful but obviously she wasn't. So, in October my mother died...

12:45 Donna Gore


12:46 Addie Carone

And then to add to this is -- I was still working, I was a social worker designee in a senior community multilevel community and I was diagnosed with the benign cancer, but I had to have a complete hysterectomy. So, from March until October of that year there was a lot going on (laughs) there's a lot going on. So...

13:19 Delilah Jones

That's almost more than...

13:19 Addie Carone


13:20 Delilah Jones

I'm wondering Addie did -- how did you hold up during all of these. What was your support group like?

13:27 Addie Carone

Well, my support group was many and it's interesting Delilah and Donna preparing for this afternoon, I was at on my porch and as Donna said it's a gorgeous day today here in Connecticut, and I came across some writing in things that I've done and one was when Don and I were members of the survivors of homicide and I started with them, I think probably '89, I just couldn't get myself to get there much sooner than that. And I writing course was going to get started and that was occurring and I had a note on it from the survivors and that is gonna be taking place in 1999 and I did write the story and unfortunately that project fell apart, Don and me no more about that I don't know. So, I had the support, you asked about the support...

14:32 Delilah Jones


14:33 Addie Carone

I have the support of the survivors group number one, but also I'm lucky to have a very, very large family that was based in another town just about an hour away from here. So, I have -- I came from the family of three other sisters a brother, nieces and nephews and also aunts, I grew up in a very large family a very, very strong people including grandmother for whom I named and...

15:04 Delilah Jones


15:05 Addie Carone

And with the very, very large family there is a lot of things got long. When I say a large family I grew up with very strong aunts and uncles and there were 12 of them and we we're very, very close family. So, not only did I have the aunts and uncles and a very strong independent grandmother, but I also had cousins and we are a strong family. And I learned a lot from that family and another part of that was I grow up in World War II and I had a brother, Joe, who was killed on the island of Iwo Jima and the marines, and to this day we have a park that's named from my brother that's in the town that I grew up in. So, if we put all of those together...

15:58 Donna Gore


15:59 Addie Carone

That's were I got my support from and the other place that I got my support from was the facility in which I was working. I was the social worker designee, I was designated to be the social worker at that particular time because back in -- I started there in 1985 and they gave me a tremendous amount of support, but everyday that I was working there and working with our residence, I was very aware of the fact that I couldn't break down at anytime. Because if the social worker breaks down, if the social worker designee breaks down and gets emotional, gets upset, or gets angry, but doesn't put my job in a very, very good life and I don't know it never happen. So, I had to maintain a very, very strong appearance.

16:58 Donna Gore

But it seem like such a delicate balancing attitude dealing with your husband's grave illness, with the murder with -- I mean how -- did you figure out a system for like dividing your time and -- I mean I'm just amazed.

17:13 Addie Carone

No. You know, I had no system I didn't come home and say "okay, at 6 o'clock I'm gonna cry" or "this is going to happen."

17:20 Donna Gore

You really deal with so many things simultaneously, you know. You just have a vey strong constitutionally, you know the people kidney like from Delilah's neck of the woods and they call us Yankees. You know we're strong Yankees.

17:37 Addie Carone

Yeah, well we are.

17:38 Donna Gore

You probably that sound is that, you know?

17:40 Addie Carone

Right, right.

17:41 Delilah Jones

Really odd. I'd met so many women from Connecticut and New England women are really __17:49__ freed (laughs).

17:51 Addie Carone

Well, yeah you know that all Yankee spirit I guess it's true Delilah, but you know as I talked about my family growing up with 12 aunts and uncles in World War II, I witness and was part of this occurring in our family and for something that I do remember when I was working, we had a fairly young lady who was working in our business office and she was the only child, the parents were divorced and she was going through the serious illness of her mother who eventually did die. And I remember she sought me out one day and said "Addie, I don't know what to do" and what she was talking about are just a simple things, you know "where do you go after your mother died?" "Do you go to the funeral home," "do you call a doctor, what do you do?" She had no idea what...

18:53 Donna Gore

She had no idea.

18:54 Addie Carone

Because she hadn't been through it. She didn't know anything about awake. You didn't know that you had to have a calling hours if that's what she wanted. I've been through with that so many times.

19:05 Donna Gore

So you were able to kind of tell her from your own experience...

19:08 Addie Carone


19:09 Donna Gore

That that was very helpful.

19:10 Addie Carone

Exactly, plus working more I did were I worked with a fairly aging population, especially those islands in the nursing home. Part of my responsibility was to hear stories and some of the stories I heard were very, very unpleasant and talk about strong ladies. I worked with some very, very, very strong ladies.

19:34 Donna Gore


19:35 Addie Carone

Absolutely, so you know you put that all together it's never -- you know it's never one thing. It's a combination of so many things all the time it really it is.

19:46 Donna Gore

Well, I'm just you know so impressed that you were able to juggle all those things, but you know they always say that God never gives you more that you can handle.

19:57 Addie Carone

That's right.

19:58 Donna Gore

I'm really thinking now and knowing you know how our friend is so ill that I'm going back to those kinds of thoughts more and more because so much of it is your constitution or how spiritual you are or your belief with God as well of you know...

20:15 Addie Carone


20:16 Donna Gore

Medicine helping you, so the combination of all those forces you know, but...

20:20 Addie Carone


20:21 Donna Gore

It kind of skipping to another aspect I was wondering you know in all of this years like 22 years...

20:33 Addie Carone

Oh, truly 25.

20:34 Donna Gore

25, right now, come up to now, but how are you treated by "the system" the layers of system whether be the Court, the police, how society in general after the homicide happened, whether or not you want to stay that I know a couple of the experiences you had with the opposing families, but I'm just wondering in general do you feel as if you had fairly good treatment overall by the system in going to the process that...

21:10 Addie Carone

I had fantastic treatment. I had no problem at all. None at all. I had no contact at all with any members of the family of AZ.

21:23 Donna Gore


21:24 Addie Carone

So, I have no idea you know was only what I was told.

21:28 Donna Gore


21:29 Addie Carone

And I did, I had wonderful because after I realized when I took care of my own family business and went through, you know that grieving process I had to figure out what can I do here. Nothing was happening and Adam disappeared.

21:55 Donna Gore


21:56 Addie Carone

Oh, we know his first name now, don't we?

21:57 Donna Gore

That's okay (laughs).

21:58 Addie Carone


21:59 Donna Gore

You're allowed. I was just doing it out of respect for you.

22:03 Addie Carone

Yeah, right. Well, thank you. Well, perhaps we all know what people know his name I'm gonna leave that to you but anyway the -- once I was determined -- it just happened naturally Donna is to what I had to do. So, I would pick up the phone and I would contact FBI agents in Hartford area. Always very well mean to me, when I suggested that if I could rather than discuss anything on the phone can I come and see them. They immediately said find name and date and I walk. And FBI group changed a lot, there was always somebody else I talk to from year to year. I did that with the police department. I called up and told them who I was and it was very, very interesting practically everyone I talk to the minute I mentioned my name and why I wanted to talk to them, they knew the story, they knew the case so that was very, very easy, but I had no problem at all. I am totally grateful to the entire police department, FBI agents, the U.S. Marshals and everyone. They were wonderful like I've done wonderful treatment from. No one ever said to me "I'm sorry, I'm terribly busy" the words I did hear which I was crazy about hearing is "it's an open case, we are trying." I had always been an open case and I want -- just took my sister and brother down to New Haven where I grew up and met an agent there and was in his office and we spent a lot of time and again he showed me all of the things that they were working on without divulging too much. But I had to answer that question, I had wonderful treatment.

23:59 Delilah Jones

Wonderful treatment.

24:00 Addie Carone


24:01 Donna Gore

Well, that is very rare because we hear much of the opposite story you know that the crime victims that we've worked with, so that's very refreshing, but I just have to think that you now from going from a town, a municipality fairly small West Hartford, Connecticut and think an internal proportion and being on America's most wanted is like three times. What was that like in making that transition from that being very local down the road from your house where it accrued to this international aspect?

24:43 Addie Carone

Oh, I was very, very pleased with that except for the very last time because in most cases I remember going -- I think for the first one I remember -- I think I went to the West Hartford Police Department. No time I think, you know I forgot the first two right, I'm not terribly clear about that, but the third one I do remember and that was the last one which occurred once the West Hartford detective division open the case, and that was in -- what was that, that was 205.

25:23 Donna Gore


25:24 Addie Carone

And I remember I was told that they were coming to the house and the thing that I remember most I was very, very glad to have them there, but they didn't tell me what they would bring with them which were -- and I was working at that time, so I came home and they came in early evening and this is a terrible criticism because they had a job to do. But they turned my house upside down. They really did. They came in move furniture in the living room, had this massive light shine upon me, went through the kitchen, move the refrigerator from one location to another...

26:06 Donna Gore


26:07 Addie Carone

In other words they were really making a set here moving and I found that uncomfortable...

26:15 Donna Gore

It's disconcerting. Yes, it's changed your whole environment.

26:17 Addie Carone

I'm disconcerting -- they do.

26:19 Donna Gore

But now this was one of the shows for __26:22__....

26:23 Addie Carone

This was the very last show for America's most wanted and quite honestly I did express my criticism to the one of the detectives who then and told one of the people who would ranges and see he was in Washington D.C. I think I wouldn't do that again.

26:46 Donna Gore

Yeah, because when all the...

26:48 Addie Carone

I think so, I think so.

26:49 Donna Gore

Turned your house upside down.

26:51 Addie Carone


26:52 Donna Gore

Why couldn't make this interview you are in your couch, Addie (laughs) you know.

26:57 Addie Carone

You're absolutely right. As a matter of fact, I have to tell you this, Donna. The head fellow was very young fellow, they were all very, very pleasant but boy they wanna run their business like they were setting up a show for a Hollywood movie or something and when I say moved everything around they really did. They went out into our porch, put things that they felt that they didn't need, move chairs here and there. They did move the sofa but they certainly moved chairs. But anyway, he directed me and he wanted me to go into the kitchen and with that he wanted me to open the kitchen cupboard and pretend that I was taking out a cup or glass or something and by this time I think I was a little bit tired, number one, and I said "no, I don't want to do this" (laughs).

27:48 Donna Gore

(Laughter). Good for you.

27:51 Addie Carone

But and he said it was little taken back by it. At first, interesting, his first name was Peter and he asked me why and I said "no, I'm just uncomfortable for doing this." But, and so he did.

28:07 Donna Gore

You got through with anyway, right?

28:08 Addie Carone

Yeah, right. But I have to tell you this, through the years we all watch television and when they do a show I am so aware of how they do a show now. You take a look at whether it's 2020 any of the big name shows, what do they do? They will have someone walking in the park with their dog, they have someone sitting somewhere else. So, that's all part...

28:35 Donna Gore

It's all of a stage.

28:37 Addie Carone

It's all of part of the picture and that's what they...

28:40 Donna Gore

That was quite in education then I'm sure.

28:42 Addie Carone

Yeah, yes it was and I realized -- but no criticism I don't know how much this has to do with what we're are talking about, but I think what they should have done and they were remiss in doing that is just tell me that day before, talk with me and maybe this is a good thing for you to know too, Delilah. I'm not sure how much work you would involve with staging anything like this, but tell the people that you're going to do this, what it's going to be like. Well, we may have to move a chair, we may do this, we may go in the other room. I was taking completely unaware that was the bottom line. So, that was -- you asked about how it was treated I was treated well, but it was a negative extraordinary for me.

29:33 Donna Gore

Yeah, that thing it is disconcerting and very unfair. So, but you know if that was the worst I guess you know it something we could tolerate for the sake of that show.

29:45 Addie Carone


29:46 Donna Gore

You know but I would love for you to be able to -- we were discussing earlier today maybe you know -- we always key into the emotional aspects of how we're dealing with violent crime and the psychological effects perhaps, but there are physical manifestations and I remember you're sharing something with me and I thought that was very interesting and maybe you'd like to talk about that because it's kind of -- not really discussed very much in terms of what happen with you.

30:18 Addie Carone

Right, well you hear the expression "my heart is broken or my heart aches?"

30:25 Donna Gore


30:26 Addie Carone

There's even a song, I used to dance to that song by Ted Weems, it was called Heartaches.

30:32 Donna Gore


30:33 Addie Carone

I have a CD, I went on Amazon a few years ago and got Heartaches and you know what -- yes, yes I'm dating myself now...

30:44 Donna Gore


30:45 Addie Carone

And people talked about -- I don't remember. Well, I remember listening to this long on gone, but it's a wonderful song, it's a song.

30:50 Donna Gore


30:52 Addie Carone

And someday I let you listen to it, Donna.

30:53 Donna Gore

I'd loved to hear it, but...

30:54 Addie Carone

Yeah, but anyway it's true.

30:58 Donna Gore


30:59 Addie Carone

My heart physically I ached -- it was so real, it was so real you're at the depths of your sadness and disbelief and of course you have to remember I have three people worried about...

31:18 Donna Gore


31:19 Addie Carone

Think about, although my -- because my mother was 87, it's a natural thing. My husband was young and I'd hope that it never happen but it did it because he was so positive and was going to live to be 100, but the physical aches that I did have and it's so happen that a good friend of mine wrote a little column for our paper, the local paper in town and she and her family and her husband had lost a son quite tragically in a motorcycle accident. And I remember she wrote in your article that was a few years before Peter that she no longer have that ache. She still was hurt by what it happened and the trauma that follows that, but little by little each year, it was going away and it's true, it's true.

32:14 Donna Gore

And that -- it instructs you?

32:15 Addie Carone

Oh yes! Oh absolutely did, right.

32:17 Donna Gore

Is that common right away Addie?

32:18 Addie Carone

Oh gosh!

32:20 Donna Gore

I mean after the homicide.

32:21 Addie Carone

Oh yes! The loses -- and really you do. It's a pain, it's -- how do you explain pain to people. All I can tell you was, it wasn't like to pain if you have a toothache, but there is something within you and you know what it's in your heart; it's in your upper part of the body that surrounds your chest. It's not in your leg or in your thigh or your neck or anything, its right there. It's very true, your heartaches. No questions about it.

33:00 Donna Gore

As have always heard and said and I'm sure Delilah you heard this too that -- you know the worse things to deal with -- in a spectrum of loss, it is the loss of the child. I mean I'd lost a parent and so a parent, and I was an young adult at that time. I wasn't even a child I was 26-year-old and my father was killed, but you know that is very different and for example, Sharon and Gary Merton at the time, survived a homicide, lost their very young teenage daughter and that's what I say that you know, I know what loss is, but I cannot relate to you less specifically because that supposedly is the most traumatic if you were to lose God forbid Delilah you're daughter or anyone that's the worst in the world and that what the people saying that I told them to believe that and you're affirming that with this physical ache, Addie.

33:56 Addie Carone


33:58 Donna Gore

I'm sure doctors would confirm that.

33:59 Addie Carone

Well, I think it's true, but...

34:00 Donna Gore


34:02 Addie Carone

You know we all have our own memories and I think of this...

34:05 Donna Gore

Of course.

34:06 Addie Carone

...quite often. My brother who was the marine on __34:11__ was killed on March 15 and my family, my sisters and brother-in-law and my son Jim and his wife had come up and Peter was here and I remember we were downstairs in the basement. I think he had some laundry to do and you know he just broke down, he just broke down and it was just a week before he himself was killed, you know he was like...

34:39 Donna Gore

__34:39__ as well.

34:40 Addie Carone

Yeah, he will. He was so sad about this father because you know his father was such a strong man and vibrant and so full of life. And so, was Peter and -- that's a memory that stays with me. As you said earlier in the introduction, Peter was also has a twin.

35:00 Donna Gore

Wait. Can you tell a little bit about that and how -- you know the other members of your family and how this (crosstalk).

35:08 Addie Carone

I'm very happy to say that I'm a mother of three boys, my son Jim. I'm always to talk about the twins because they were the healthiest biggest babies born at the hospital in long, long time. So, they weren't preemies at all. They went right full-term and Jim their brother, the oldest brother was only 2 when they were born. And this was a big thing in our family, so they were refer to us all the time for the longest time you know as the twins. My father doted on those boys and he used to call them as little rascals.

35:41 Donna Gore


35:42 Addie Carone

So that was hard because there is half of our family. I mean, they were always together and they were all identical and Michael to this day and his birthday is June 9, so that was only a couple of weeks ago and in the first year, Michael was here with his wife and his daughter. She was only about three or four times. We had a birthday cake and he just broke down and cried and he told me he doesn't want to celebrate his birthday. We observed it, we have a cake, but it is something he doesn't look forward to at all. Michael doesn't talk about it a lot. And I think he has kept a lot of things and to this day, there is not much that he likes to talk about with his brother. So, with him, I'm sure he still likes -- it is a bond. I mean that twinge of such a bond when you think about it.

35:50 Donna Gore


35:52 Addie Carone

So that's...

35:53 Donna Gore

And how is the -- it's Jim doing ...

35:54 Addie Carone

Well, Jim is fine. Yeah, he is the older brother even though it's only by two years.

37:02 Donna Gore


37:03 Addie Carone

So, certainly he is affected by this because he was newly married when this happened and yeah, it's affects everyone. I mean the family still talks about this. I was talking to my sister the other day who attended the wake and funeral of a young mother of seven children, who was killed in automobile accident and her husband was driving the car and never was aware of that. There were so many people. She said the place was just packed with young people and what she said then is you know reminded me your peers wake where they have to have a policeman in the middle of street for traffic because it was. It was filled with so many young people and when someone young dies, she said the loss of a child, we hear that all the time. No parent wants to lose a child, but when you see the casket of your son has __38:05__ at the funeral home ready to get to the church and you see his friends at your house, you know doing all sort of things that young men and teenage in all do, playing football, and games. He was a member of a soccer team and when you see those young men, carry your son's body I tell you that's when it truly hurts.

38:33 Donna Gore

That hurts. (Crosstalk) I'm sure, I'm sure it was and I'm just you know the longevity of this whole ordeal, it is just __38:45__ you know your ability even after the other death that occurred in your family and I'm just wondering you know do you -- I mean, you have a particular life now, it is very different, but you have a routine and you have things that you enjoy doing or maybe you could turn an assemblance of a new normalcy whatever that may be, but there are people who has had lost this core of listening first time when you had __39:18__ do you Addie? What would you want to say to other perhaps other homicide survivors to may be do not have the constitution that you do or kind of short on hope. What exactly do you give them perhaps?

39:36 Addie Carone

Well, something that I found very, very helpful and I was looking through a couple of things today. I don't have all the written material that I have garnered through this past 25 years with me.

39:51 Donna Gore

Like a timeline?

39:53 Addie Carone

Not necessarily a timeline, but I did write in a journal.

39:58 Delilah Jones

Oh, very good.

40:00 Addie Carone

Yeah, I had two journals. One friend, unfortunately she was a young lady who gave it to me and it was a wonderful notebook and I have the title right here and it's called, the name of the book she gave to me was "Time Remembered" that's called "A Journal for Survivors" by Earl A Grollman. I imagine if you get it on -- go to Amazon, look it up, you probably can get it so...

40:30 Donna Gore


40:32 Addie Carone

So in it were just all black blank pages but on the pages before you wrote, there were quotes from various people. Someone known and some well-known. So, if I can take a moment and read one to give you an example, this is one here it say, "As the scars begin to heal, I feel like a tree covering itself with new growth. The world sings a broken song. My love one is dead, but I'm alive. It's time to start living again" and this is reflections following the anniversary of a death, then they kind of cue you is to what you have done and how you're feeling. So, the next paragraph is this "However, long and dark the night, the dawn is sure to break. Look into the mirror again. How do you think you have changed since the death of your loved ones? What new goals are you setting for yourself? One month from now and one year from now and how can they best be achieved? Congratulate yourself on your survival and progress". And then I wrote in this and I didn't also follow what they suggest that these were -- just how I felt.

42:10 Donna Gore


42:11 Addie Carone

I started this journal in the 90s.

42:16 Donna Gore


42:17 Addie Carone

And I would wake up -- I didn't go to bed and say "okay I'm gonna write in my journal." It just happened.

42:22 Donna Gore


42:23 Addie Carone

I would just feel like writing at night before I went to sleep or sometime I wake up in the middle of night and...

42:30 Donna Gore

Well it sounds very therapeutic and like you say, maybe they were cued you to think about some other aspect and help you with it. I have to say, I write prolifically all the time and it's a very good therapy for me and I love it.

42:47 Addie Carone

Oh right.

42:48 Donna Gore

And if I didn't have that then you know I don't know what I was do because I'm you know I don't play musical instruments anymore. It's terrible at the organ in the choir. (Laughter)

42:58 Addie Carone

I did. What I said on that I called it's a 10th anniversary and said there are things to plan and observe to remember you both and in a special way, me, my husband and Peter.

43:11 Donna Gore


43:13 Addie Carone

And this is the year you and Mike, he has twin brother will be 40. Yeah, strange but I will always connect you with Michael. The healing starting and I know I have to let go, but I can't yet. I'm back with the survivors group and the first words out of my mouth last night is the New Year came in where words for AC. And I know it won't stop until he is caught and how I pray for that. And then I go on to say your family is growing and it's wonderful. Kathleen who is the young lady that was engaged to be married to Peter that August.

43:49 Donna Gore


43:50 Addie Carone

She visited with me early in the week and then I hope that this will be a good year for us and I end by saying be with us. So, writing...

44:00 Donna Gore

That is so touching Addie that's what...

44:04 Addie Carone

You know writing is so therapeutic.

44:05 Donna Gore

It's true.

44:06 Addie Carone

And it interesting because after awhile, I did stop. I had -- and I think I said in one I don't have all my you know all my books with me. I had two books...

44:18 Donna Gore


44:20 Addie Carone

I realized that you know it's -- I'd stopped so.

44:27 Donna Gore

Well, it may be that was the need that you had to fill that particular point that may be you know you felt like you wanted to move on to do other things.

44:34 Addie Carone

Oh yeah!

44:35 Donna Gore

How is Kathleen? Do you keep in touch with her?

44:38 Addie Carone

I saw her. Yeah her birthday is very close to Peter's, it's June 8. So, oh yeah we still see each other yeah. She does not live far from me. She brought a nice house. She does not live far from me. She....

44:51 Donna Gore

Can you share with our audience a little bit of background that Peter was engaged __44:55__.

44:56 Addie Carone

Yes, yes they were engaged.

44:57 Donna Gore

__44:57__ be engaged at that point.

44:59 Addie Carone

They were engaged. They were to be married in August. As a matter of fact, I have a large box that's up in the attic and then that box are filled with all the mementos and letters and service and the program that I kept there for a long, long time. And on the refrigerator for a long time was there, they're announcement, they came to show what they were going to say in they announcement that you know.

45:27 Donna Gore


45:28 Addie Carone

Wedding announcement and I had that on the refrigerator for a long, long time yes. They are going to be married on August. Yes.

45:35 Donna Gore

And that was in what -- March right?

45:37 Addie Carone

Peter was killed in March (crosstalk) and they were planning to be married in August. They were engaged on Christmas time. We have a picture in the living room here with them yeah.

45:57 Donna Gore

And it's so special that you still see her in our clothes. I think that's cool. (Crosstalk) What it is a plan of yours to try all the intervening years to try to keep it in the public eye as much as possibly?

46:16 Addie Carone

Oh absolutely, absolutely.

46:19 Donna Gore

How was that possible and who might have been responsible? What was that again...?

46:21 Addie Carone

Well, I think you have to take the bull by the horns and you have to do it yourself. You know (crosstalk), let me be honest with you. People and my family, and my sons were supportive, but you know-- we have to remember my sons were newly married. I mean, Mike. Jim was first, they're starting their families. Jim was also in New York City. They're working on their own careers.

46:48 Donna Gore


46:50 Addie Carone

So, they couldn't give me the actual you know, daily support either could my family down in New Haven's sister. I mean everybody had a life.

46:59 Donna Gore


47:00 Addie Carone

You have to remember that. (Crosstalk)

47:01 Donna Gore

You have to do it with yourself.

47:02 Addie Carone

You know I had to do it myself. And I think certainly, we all know that. I mean, I have a teacher's background. So this is not complement to me, but I think I know how to speak to people and ask people things. I think I ought to, plus you know my work is a social worker.

47:24 Donna Gore


47:25 Addie Carone

This has not been impossible. It's just a very objective point that I'm making. So I would pick up the phone and I had no problems talking with people, the reporters at the Hartford Courant, who did especially when I was getting the bill passed. And that was...

47:44 Donna Gore

Yeah. (Crosstalk)

47:46 Addie Carone

Those reporters are still around and I have all those clippings and they gave me wonderful publicity in the newspapers. Yeah, I called up the head of the police department, Chief Strillaci who just retired this past year.

48:05 Donna Gore

In West Hartford, yeah.

48:06 Addie Carone

And want to see him, you know his awesomeness and he talked with me. So, I did, I did that with everybody then I possibly got absolutely...

48:15 Donna Gore

To keep it going, to keep it in the public eye.

48:17 Addie Carone

Yes, yes yeah. Well, with the bill especially, I want to keep it in the public eye.

48:24 Donna Gore

Why don't you tell us about that aspect and what -- I mean I know -- what happened with respect to the conviction and what was that you did legislatively. We've got about 12 minutes.

48:37 Addie Carone

Okay (crosstalk) yes. Well, your listeners don't know.

48:44 Donna Gore


48:45 Addie Carone

That Adam was sentenced to 60 years in prison and he was out. He has had the judge issued only four -- I'm trying to think of how I would turn that -- they were four conditions on what she -- what be able to come back and face jail. Essentially what it was, they were just four of nothing really. One was to stay at home with his parents.

49:18 Donna Gore


49:20 Addie Carone

Two, not to have -- be sure you had no guns (crosstalk) from his father. The third I think was that the family was and of course, it was as the judge was saying, "Now Adam you go home with your parents and they were living in the condo in town here. And you'll be a very good boy. Yeah you stay at home, you have to come in, you have to obey all these rules and regulations and then don't forget when you come back in October, you going to go to jail for 60 years" and can you see Adam saying "Oh of course judge, I'll be a good boy and I'll be back here and I (crosstalk) I was just reviewing -- I have so much with me and it really came in very handy when I gave a statement for Zach because that's when I really spoke. And I spoke for 45 minutes which was unusual and judge ordered him -- there was a female judge, I thought it was more than a welcoming to me to allow me to take so much time, but there were things that I never had a chance to say to the family and I -- they just -- this is skilled out, because I written it in time and time, time again. So...

50:40 Donna Gore

So the fact that you -- getting back for a minute to the legislation.

50:41 Addie Carone


50:42 Donna Gore

He was led out on... (Crosstalk)...at the time.

50:50 Addie Carone

It was a $250,000 bond and here again, the family will try anything that they can to do what they can to not listen to what the court are saying all the time. I put that to simply as that because -- they found something she says that there was a delay in her learning about this and as a result of that, that bond of $250,000 was reduced to a mere $125,000. We have to remember here, this is a family of some financial means.

51:27 Donna Gore


51:28 Addie Carone

In the business and there is a lot of money there. So, with that and I do have an attorney and he will be nameless right now. I sat with him and I try to figure out and I think working with survivors at that time -- what can I do and also a neighbor. I have a neighbor who is connected with the legalities in Hartford and with the legislator and I got a lot of advice from them and I found that I as a private citizen, can go ahead and trying to get a bill passed and that's what I did.

52:04 Donna Gore


52:05 Addie Carone

It's very, very difficult for me because I did not have a computer. The bill was passed in 1999 and I had also I had a Wednesday author works for four days a week. Every Wednesday by myself, I came and did whatever work I had to do and one of the hardest things was when it was time for me to make that announcement, I had to do my own speech. I was at the legislator building at 8 o'clock in the morning and did not speak until 6'o'clock in the evening.

52:18 Donna Gore

You did?

52:42 Donna Gore

I know how hard is that, because I've done that way (laughter)

52:45 Addie Carone

(Crosstalk) But before that I also had to write letters. It was important for me to write letters to our senators and representatives to State of Connecticut, sent them a letter. One of the key points, not was the key point, but was some wonderful advice was is when you write these letters don't put them on to standard white paper, but put them on something colorful, so I remember I had a kind of a glowy yellow paper then I put this on and...

53:19 Addie Carone

Yes I did right.

53:21 Donna Gore


53:22 Addie Carone

They were all written on this bright yellow went over to office deport or the staple, I guess with regard that. And I single handedly all by myself I remember how...

53:34 Donna Gore

The whole general assembly, you wrote individual letters?

53:38 Addie Carone

Yes! No! No! No! I haven't. No. It wasn't individual letters. It was the same letter, but I addressed it to whatever. So, I don't remember putting their names down. I don't think I did but...

53:53 Donna Gore

Can you tell us what is the purpose of the legislation was?

53:59 Addie Carone

Yes, you know what, I just want to be sure...

54:02 Donna Gore


54:03 Addie Carone

I wrote it down and I know could say that you could not get this on your computer. But it simply means that if you're out on appeal, you know I'm not gonna read the legally sub of this... (Crosstalk)

54:16 Donna Gore

Right! No! Just tell us in one sense what is about.

54:20 Addie Carone

It simply stated, if you're out on appeal, now you appeal from jail that was our problem. You see Adam was at home and indeed, if he was home for at least an hour, because we know now in this final investigation and the final -- the finality of this finding Adam.

54:41 Donna Gore


54:42 Addie Carone

And knowing that what his father did. By the way, you said the family, I think it was not the family that harbored him with money. It was primarily the father and two of his -- two people that he knows. The family may -- I don't know if they really knew anything about it.

55:03 Donna Gore


55:06 Addie Carone

But... I just lost my train of thought on that one now.

55:08 Donna Gore

That's okay well, it was a bill -- when you're out in appeal, you have to stay.

55:16 Addie Carone

Right! Right! It's called, it's called.

55:19 Donna Gore

And it's my understanding Addie that I think they also used this with one of the appeals from Michael Skakel.

55:25 Donna Gore

Am I right on that?

55:25 Addie Carone


55:27 Addie Carone

Yes all you had. Yeah he has appealed seven times and I won't give it to you know now, but I don't if you're listeners wanna go on and see that, but I have it here.

55:35 Donna Gore


55:36 Addie Carone

Its the Public Act 98-51 called "House Bill 5637" and it's an act concerning post bail conviction signed into law June 29, 1998 by the then governor, John Rowland.

55:55 Donna Gore

Okay. Can you give me that date again? It was June what?

56:00 Addie Carone

June 29, 1998.

56:03 Donna Gore

Okay good. Yeah I can find that and it will be on our __56:07__ here. You know our time is fast going here. Delilah would you like to time in here and may be ask a couple of things at the end?

56:15 Delilah Jones

I'm just fascinated. You know I read some about the case, Addie.

56:22 Addie Carone


56:23 Delilah Jones

A lot -- is on several different post about, so I am somewhat familiar with it. You know, I guess and I know we just have a few seconds or few minutes left. I can't imagine after coming this far for this long and then to finally have -- there's never closure, but coming together so to speak where he is finally caught, you know the father is arrested and things are coming together to sort of endless, how -- what are your feelings and how that has played such a big part in your life over the last 25 years. How do you see things now today?

57:06 Addie Carone

Well, you know I think the bottom line is one, do what they have to do, that's what is true. Do what you have to do and I did. I was lucky that you know physically and mentally, emotionally I was able to do it. And I'm looking through the notes in the story I wrote and you know I've got so much that I say in here and I'm very, very pleased with the justice system. I have nothing to say, but just very, very good things. They were open to me, they were kind, they were helpful, they were just wonderful. As a matter of fact, when Adam was caught, I immediately sat down and wrote a letter to the editor of our local paper praising the West Hartford Police Department because it was that homicide division of the detective bureau who did all the work and...

58:08 Delilah Jones


58:10 Addie Carone

Oh, absolutely. They were relentless in their search to find them. And as I said to Donna, I think Donna knows this I wasn't happy about doing this. I mean its 25 years. I know a very, very senior lady and you have to go on. I mean we never, never forget and we never...(Crosstalk)

58:34 Donna Gore

Closure you on this. And this is a legacy for other people to learn some new. So I expressed my gratitude to you to the outmost. Addie, you're still gracious, you're such a lady and I do appreciate it and I just wanna say a couple of parting comments. I think... (Crosstalk)

58:50 Addie Carone

Okay can I just say something about...

58:52 Donna Gore

Sure. Go ahead.

58:54 Addie Carone

Because I don't know whether you're aware, but it's really not over anymore. Adam had been transferred from a jail. I think somewhere in another part and I know where he is now. He is in a small town and coming from where I live to that town, I've gone by that facility. It used to be strictly what we would call on the old days a reform school, but that's where he is now. Do you know that he has hired an attorney to open this case?

59:26 Donna Gore

Yes. I remember hearing about that isn't at...

59:27 Addie Carone

You know that. Okay.

59:28 Donna Gore

Isn't that -- that does as insult to injury and you know opening it up again but I'm sure you gonna handle it in your way.

59:37 Addie Carone

Well we are.

59:38 Donna Gore

And we we'll be there watching and I hope you'll keep up with me and sort of we will keep in contact and I can let people know that you're still doing very good thing. And again thank you so much. We're gonna have to say good night for now. I will talk to you later. Okay, off air. I'd be glad too. So Delilah, thank you so much for everything. All of your listeners, please everyone be sure to tune in next Saturday evening. It's Ray Bechard with the human trafficking and The Berlin Turnpike author. So good night, be safe and remember, if you wanna help crime victims, don't just try, make it happen. Good night everyone and thank you.

1:00:19 Addie Carone

Thank you Donna. Good night!

1:00:20 Donna Gore

You're welcome Addie. Thank you!