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    Pain

    Today is one of the most painful days of my life; I would definitely put it up there with natural "child birth pain", "child birth" being category 5 and this pain at 3.5. But this pain is less bearable! An f-cking "sports injury is what I have.
    I was out doing my drills today after slightly spraining my calf muscle on last night, "why wouldn't I leave well enough alone?" Well the answer is so that I could get into this dress I bought for a special occasion coming up, “What ass dumb idea"! My consumption with the way I look has never been an interest that would jeopardize my health and welfare, but I have found myself this late in life concerned about my appearance enough to push myself physically to the point of injury; All under the guise of being attractive hoping some "love interest" who I hoped would appreciate the effort on my part. What a "dumb-ass" I have become! Oh little me...drunken with the illusion that I needed all this to get a little extra attention.
    This f-cking pain is sobering! I lay stretched out like some injured walrus on a beach or something! All while this interest of mine has no idea of the amount of pain my adoration for him has led me astray!

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