Adult Talk  

I am a mother of two sons and one daughter, and raising them as a single parent was often very tiring and laborious at times. I have never made excuses for their improper behavior. I have always taught them that one must be willing to face the full ramification of consequences when choices are made. I remember on several occasions they were found on the opposite end of my rearing and raising, even to the point of suffering unfair justice. I have never and hope that I never renege and seek justice whenever they choose to violate another's rights or even break the law. I remember one time, my then 10 year old son, was accosted by a classmate who was white and he called my son a "nigger". Needless to say he was irate, and in retaliation he decided that he was going to jump the classmate and stab him. I explained to him that this was not the solution and the choice to do so would result in a very harsh punishment that could possibly result him being jailed unjustly because he was a black child who wanted to stab a white child. He wouldn't budge from his decision. Then I began to tell him how differently his future would become if he were to continue with his plan, he relented not. Then I called my Mother and she spoke to him and explained to him that it would be a very poor decision and yet he never relented! We went over this for about three hours and his words were, "well mother you can say what you want it won't make a difference, I am going to hurt him""he called me a nigger"! I explained to him that I loved him and was sure that he would make the right decision and that I loved him very much.

The day passed and I kept him under surveillance and he was not allowed to go outside that day.

The following day was school and I walked he and his siblings to the bustop where little Wes was there as well. I was very nervous because I didn't know what to expect. My son walked up to the bus door and held it open for his little  sister to board as usual, as he eyed Wes as if he were the epitome of evil. I informed the bus driver of my concerns as well as the school. The entire day I stayed on watch to find out if my son had pulverized Wes, there was never a call.

I returned to the bus stop that afternoon and there was my little son dashing off and smiling at me as he usually does with no event of violence, I was relieved! I was so curious as to see where his heart and mind were on the situation of he and

Wes but I could not rush to question him. I decided to address it over dinner and I asked them all how was their day and when it got to Kyle he was as calm as could be and told me not to worry that Wes was "poor white trash" and wasn't worth him getting in trouble over. I was relieved!

If this situation had turned out differently and he had decided to be brutal, and got an unfair sentence, I would not have tried to overturn the verdict. I believe that I had explained and taught him what his choice would bring and if he took his "free will" to do it any way, he should pay the full consequences even unto injustice.

I believe parents sometimes are so concerned with the way our children make us look when they behave terribly that we try to minimize the severity of their actions by finding excuses. I believe that this is dangerous and we must

address  the issues that our children have and seek to find solutions to overcome them rather than cover them with easy fixes.

Today is one of the most painful days of my life; I would definitely put it up there with natural "child birth pain", "child birth" being category 5 and this pain at 3.5. But this pain is less bearable! An f-cking "sports injury is what I have.
I was out doing my drills today after slightly spraining my calf muscle on last night, "why wouldn't I leave well enough alone?" Well the answer is so that I could get into this dress I bought for a special occasion coming up, “What ass dumb idea"! My consumption with the way I look has never been an interest that would jeopardize my health and welfare, but I have found myself this late in life concerned about my appearance enough to push myself physically to the point of injury; All under the guise of being attractive hoping some "love interest" who I hoped would appreciate the effort on my part. What a "dumb-ass" I have become! Oh little me...drunken with the illusion that I needed all this to get a little extra attention.
This f-cking pain is sobering! I lay stretched out like some injured walrus on a beach or something! All while this interest of mine has no idea of the amount of pain my adoration for him has led me astray!