"Relationship Tuesday" Loose the Baggage moving on with your life PT3

No matter the size of the baggage, we all have it and it will affect the way we are in new relationships. Dating and relationships can be frustrating and, often, downright painful. What single hasn't dreamt of a fairy dating coach swooping in to help her let go of baggage and find the happy, healthy relationship she craves?

Practice releasing regrets: When a relationship ends, it’s tempting to dwell on what you did wrong or what you could have done differently. This might seem productive—like you can somehow change things by rehashing it. You can’t. All dwelling does is cause you to suffer. When you start revisiting the past in your head, pull yourself into the moment. Focus on the good things in your current situation: the friends who are there for you and the lessons you’ve learned that will help you with future relationships.

Let yourself feel: Losing a relationship can feel like a mini-death, complete with a grieving process. First, you’re shocked and in denial. You don’t believe it’s over and you hold out hope. Next, you feel hurt and guilty. You should have done things differently. If you did you wouldn’t be in this pain. Then, you feel angry and maybe even start bargaining. It would be different if you gave it a second go. You wouldn’t be so insecure, defensive, or demanding.  Then you might feel depressed and lonely as it hits you how much you’ve lost.