He-Said-She-Said | Walking Small

I shouldn’t tell you this. Shouldn’t mention it to anyone. Certainly not in print. What I’m about to say I’ve held close to my heart for thirty-seven years. Often we speak of people who are “outed.” Politicians and celebrities and pastors caught in sin or scandalous discretions that used to be considered shameful but which are now celebrated as diverse and liberating. Here’s my “out.”

God called me to something great. Not good, not ordinary, but grand.

If you’re like me you may nod or maybe even offer an acknowledging smile when someone says “God spoke to me.” But deep down we usually think: Is he for real? Has she lost her mind? Only a crazy person hears voices in their head. And yet we have numerous examples in scripture of individuals claiming to hear God. I, too, have heard His voice.

I can drive you to downtown Raleigh and show you the block on which I walked that warm August afternoon when God whispered, “Someday Eddie, you will do a grand thing for me.” I worked at the N.C. Department of History that summer. I was a nobody: a summer intern. And not a very good one of those. I kept sneaking into the racks of ancient tomes to nap. I still nap. Only now I don’t have to climb as many steps.

But as I walked to Peace Street that afternoon to buy a burger from Hardees, God summoned me. Since that day I’ve been looking for that grand thing I was meant to do. As far as I know I haven’t found it nor done it, yet. (“Done it.” A southern term used as a summary statement, as in,“He done it good, this time.”)

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