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What do Ray Anderson, Vice President of Football Operations, Jason Belser
Regional Director of the NFL Players Association and Roger Goodell NFL Commissioner have to do with high school football in Ventura?  They started the NFL website, www.usafootball.com, that offers great tips on how to get the most out of the game for the players. 

They have taken some of the greatest teachers in the country and published their work on the site.   David Jacobson of the Positive Coaching Alliance says it best: "Encourage your child to act with humility and compassion, as those traits enhance performance and show true leadership."

Talking with your high school or youth player can be the most important time to influence their experience in the game.  To make sure your athlete uses their time on the gridiron to grow into a successful adult requires de-emphasizing winning and emphasizing their experiences as part of the team.   When speaking to a youth football player after a game, listen more and get the youngster to talk about the game from his or her own perspective.  The goal is to get them to talk about the game the way they saw it, not for you to tell your child what he or she could have done differently.   

Conversation with your child about his or her youth sports experience is one of the single most important factors in the ability to learn life lessons from sports. Three principles that responsible sport parents can apply to their conversations with their children are:

An approach called ELM focuses on effort, learning and mistakes. When players give their best effort, learn along the way and realize that mistakes are not to be feared, they will perform their best, making them winners regardless of the outcome of a game.

Keep "Emotional Tanks" overflowing.  Fill the emotional tanks of youth athletes and like a car's gas tank, a full "emotional tank" can take us anywhere, but an empty tank will take us nowhere. Use the ratio of five specific, truthful praises for each correction.  Getting players to go all out in drills, conditioning and games calls for positive reinforcement.

Honor the game through the core elements: Rules, Officials, Opponents, Teammates and Self. Treat these elements with respect and players, coaches, parents and fans will all enjoy the football experience.

Begin to look for ways to enforce these principles with more informal "values demonstrations".  This means demonstrating the principles and values through actions. By taking those steps ourselves, we create an environment where others can follow.  When one parent walks across the bleachers to congratulate a parent of the opponent, it speaks volumes about the culture of the team. That shows individual leadership and a personal commitment to the culture of honoring the game, including opponents.  Culture is kept not just on the field, but in the stands as well - cheering for a great play made by an opponent for example.  Try sticking around for the Championship game after your team has been eliminated and cheer on the team that narrowly beat your team in a hard, well-fought game. Cheer for the coach because he or she needs praise as well.

It's not easy, but it's worth it. Education through sport can develop children of high character, who lead, persevere, overcome adversity and function as productive team members. Sports provide the ideal classroom for teaching life lessons and parents who demonstrate responsibility lead a good example for their children to follow.