Game Show Talk And Fun  

During our game of Rhyme and Reason, there were many submissions that you did not get to hear. Here you can read all the submissions that were taken for the show, and who provided each one. Enjoy, and hopefully get a few more laughs along the way.

First, kudos to our panel of poets:
Kef Schecter, David Hammond, Wendy O Koopa, Dan Berger, Liam Stoddard, Tim Lorenzo, Andrea Sapinski

And now, their poetry:
(Note: A * denotes an extra submission that was not chosen in the random selection for that round.)

When the woodpecker pecked, he stuck in his BEAK...
Kef: and was surprised to find that the pipe sprung a leak.
David: and said "Well, now I'm really up the creek!"
Wendy: into a piece of wood that was possibly teak.
Liam: he liked it too much and his knees got weak.
Tim: a costly mistake on a desk that's antique.

Hoping for a date, the eHamrony user pressed SEND...
Kef: and waited at his computer for days on end.
David: because her love life was on the mend.
Wendy: She got so many matches it drove her around the bend.
Dan: little did he know he was sending it to his girlfriend.
Tim: hoping this site was more than a trend.

Andrea and I had a bit of a FIGHT...
Kef: and now I have to sleep in the car at night. (*)
David: because I stole her favorite kite. (*)
Wendy: we could have been doing it to daylight.
Dan: and she slapped with all of her might.
Liam: so I hit her with a cucumber out of spite.
Tim: because she wanted a cola and I gave her a Sprite.
Andrea: but in the end, things turned out all right. (*)

At the red light, Jenny was supposed to STOP...
Kef: But she crashed and now her car's in the shop.
David: but she didn't and got pulled over by a cop.
Wendy: as she did her pants started to drop.
Dan: the brakes slammed so hard her breasts started to flop.
Liam: her breast hit the wheel and made her implant pop.
Tim: but she was in a hurry. C'mon, chop, chop!

The lawyer said the case was "open and SHUT"...
Kef: and if the jury doesn't like it, they can kiss my butt!
David: "the defendant is going to take a punch in the gut!"
Wendy: so he took out his clubs and proceeded to putt.
Dan: then he dropped dead because he choked on a peanut.
Tim: and then went out to celebrate at Pizza Hut.

Sonic the Hedgehog is sure fast and BLUE...
Kef: He's faster than anyone I ever knew. (*)
David: The love he shares with Amy Rose isn't true.
Wendy: If you ran as fast as him you would spew.
Dan: I'll bet he got that way from sniffing glue.
Liam: expect when he forgets to tie his shoe.
Tim: how he got to be fast, I don't have a clue.

Jane spied on Little Jack Horner as he used his THUMB...
Kef: and thought that way of eating was dumb. (*)
David: She yelled at him "You're nothing but scum!"
Wendy: What he pulled out sure wasn't a plum.
Dan: and saw that behind him sat a bottle of rum.
Tim: to pick his guitar and continue to strum.

The taxi driver took great care of his CAB...
Kef: It was even cleaner than a scientist's lab.
David: He had a shield of glass, so no one took a jab.
Wendy: He made sure it always looked fab.
Liam: but to others it looked quite drab.
Tim: When the ride was over, I gave him money instead of a stab.
Andrea: while his customers all ran up a big tab.

Tom yelled out loud when he stubbed his TOE...
Kef: "Ow! I wish the steps of these stairs were low!"
David: because he was trying to toss some pizza dough.
Wendy: "OW! What a nasty way to go."
Liam: and missed his chance to catch the winning throw.
Tim: If I quoted what he said, I'd be kicked off this show.

Cleopatra dozed off as she sailed down the NILE...
Kef: and went off course for much more than a mile!
David: She didn't expect to sail into Rainbow Isle.
Wendy: Now her death is in a closed case file.
Tim: She enjoyed a pleasant dream for a while.
Andrea: and dreams of Mark Antony just made her smile.

The gypsy tried to channel from her ouija BOARD...
Kef: but it told her that she was out of her gourd.
David: and she got a message from President Ford.
Wendy: The ghosts that she got came in a horde.
Tim: "Oh how I wish I could find my Squeege Lord."

Thanks to Jenny Craig, Valerie is THIN...
Kef: but if she got any thinner, it would do her in.
David: I don't think its a battle that Star jones can win.
Wendy: Now her career is no longer in a tail spin.
Dan: and now her mirror doesn't show a double chin.
Tim: Now if only she could give up the gin.
Andrea: but what it did to Kirstie Allie is a sin.

MacGuyer had to hurry and break open the LOCK...
Kef: so he improvised a device from stick, thread, and rock.
David: before the big ship crashed into the dock.
Wendy: or else he would find himself in stock.
Liam: he broke all his picks, so he had to use his Glock.
Tim: And he fortunately had an explosive hidden in his sock.
Andrea: or he would be a hero you could mock. (*)

Eating with your mouth open is certainly quite RUDE...
Kef: and that would make you one uncool dude.
David: so your mother yelled out, "Close your mouth and chew your food!"
Wendy: we certainly don't want to see what you've chewed. (*)
Dan: and if it's limberger cheese, it becomes quite crude. (*)
Liam: but it's more funny when you do it in the nude.
Tim: it puts the other diners in a bad mood.
Andrea: when you're in a crowd, you definitely get booed.

Margie was stunned when she saw the price TAG...
Kef: Looks like she's not comin' home with any new swag. (*)
David: She said to the shopkeeper "You old hag!"
Wendy: she's decided against buying that hand bag. (*)
Dan: that she paid $100 for a wash rag.
Tim: Now she'll never look like the models in the mag.
Andrea: but if she didn't get the implants, her boobs would sag.

Dirk the Daring had a dragon to SLAY...
Kef: But in the end, the dragon had *his* way.
David: He said to the princess "Hey, I don't have time to play!"
Wendy: He did it so he could reach pay day.
Liam: But at the castle, he didn't have a catchphrase to say.
Tim: The dragon could've been spared if he'd learned to obey.
Andrea: But his fear of blood kept him away.

We had a lot of fun with this one. Hopefully we can do it again sometime.

Stay Way Past Cool!

Brian Sapinski
The Sonic Whammy