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If you have a child that has been labeled a bully or one who is being bullied then learning the ways individuals naturally differ is essential to your peace of mind, your child’s positive development and the foundation that will be laid for their mental and emotional quality of life.

Your Child is Uniquely Yours

Solutions to bad behaviors are not one-size-fit-all. Your child is not like any other.  If you have more than one, they may have similarities, but they are different children.  What works on one is not likely to work on the other.

If you have an energetic, strong-willed or, as many would call them, “problem” child or bully you’ve probably had your share of frustration.

If you have 2 or more children and one hardly gives you any trouble at all, you probably already know how hard it is to not label the seeming “problem” child. 

Such situations create tension for all involved, mostly on your child because they expect you to have the answers.

Understanding the why of individual behaviors, often provides the knowledge to resolve the what. 

When you understand how each child is designed to operate, you can apply workable solutions that produce desired results for each child; successful parenting depends on it.

Fundamental Basics

The origin of Psychology was established by Hippocrates, the father of medicine, and was based on temperament types: 4 basic fluids of the body that were later called Choleric, Sanguine, Phlegmatic and Melancholy.  Hippocrates found that specified behaviors were consistent with each particular body fluid and that each person’s fluids were consistent. 

Temperaments distinguish human behavior more than any other factor.

There are many different modern personality systems created based on Hippocrates’ temperamental studies.  Below is a brief description distinguishing the 4 types:

1.      Choleric: Focused on what needs to happen and has little concern for anything between them and their goal.

2.      Sanguine: Focused on the why; usually looking for the fun in it and will create it if necessary - “Idea” oriented.

3.      Phlegmatic: Focused on who is involved and concerned for everybody’s benefit.  When the people are okay, then they are okay.

4.      Melancholy: Focused on how things happen, seeks to understand process.  Process grounds them. They are “task” oriented.

Did you notice that all four are necessary considerations? None are any more or less valuable than the other and nobody, naturally, considers them all. 

By now, you’re likely realizing that your “bully” is probably just choleric or sanguine, or if in their later years of having been “bullied,” phlegmatic and melancholy temperaments can be really stubborn.

With this understanding at least the whys of your child’s behaviors based on temperament can begin to make sense to you.

The Awareness of Individuality develops self-esteem and is the foundation for resilience; every parent wants this for their child and every child wants acceptance without exception.

It’s time to revisit what’s been considered “good vs. bad” behaviors, particularly in the children who have been labeled, a bully.