Gettin Kinky w/ Chia  

Sex is something that affects all college students. Whether you’re having sex or refusing to have sex, it’s just another issue that burdens our lives. There are important points about intimacy that are not taught in high school. This is a shame, because these are things that parents either don’t know, or won’t talk about, and we shouldn’t have to go it alone.

When it comes to sex, the most important thing is having safe sex. This doesn’t just mean using a condom; it covers many aspects of the experience. Having safe sex means that your mind and body are both protected before you start doing something that you can’t take back.

Choosing to have sex with someone, whether you’re experienced or not, is an important decision. It doesn’t matter if you are the type that enjoys casual sex, or you see your body as a gated temple; when choosing a partner, you must evaluate all the risks involved.

The most obvious thing to consider is contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD). There are many types of STD’s, and some can be contracted whether you achieve intercourse or not. Many STD’s are not curable, like AIDS and herpes. If not treated, even some of the curable diseases can be fatal. This is why using protection is an important step to being safe. Since even kissing can transmit diseases, such as herpes or mononucleosis, why run the risk for one night of passion?

Try not to view safe sex as a burden. Some people complain about the reduced pleasure in using condoms, or about the smell, but there are many options when it comes to making safe sex fun. Some condoms warm, have ridges, extra sensation, different flavors; there are female condoms, finger condoms and even protection for oral sex. With this plethora of choices, there is no excuse for not being responsible.

Using protection is only the first step. We live in a world where much more than that is necessary before we can make a responsible decision. Going as a couple to any doctor or clinic, such as Planned Parenthood, shows a level of respect for each other. Trusting your partner is great, but it’s not enough. Your partner might not know whether they’ve contracted something because many times these diseases don’t have visible symptoms. Getting tested together shows that neither of you have anything to hide. And by the time the test comes out negative, it leaves a lot of anticipation for the act, which may improve the experience for both partners.

Being safe also means not getting pregnant. No woman should have to face all the choices one has when surprised with a pregnancy. While a woman deserves the right to choose, it’s better if the choice can be avoided. Modern technology gives us several ways to make sure that when we have a child, it’s because we’re ready.

Birth control is how a woman takes control of this decision. There are types of birth control to fit any woman’s life style. "The pill" is taken every day, "the patch" is replaced every week, a Nuva Ring™ is replaced once a month, and there is even a shot given once every three months. There is also an "IUD" that is replaced once every year or every three years, but it is recommended for women who have had children. Some women get nervous about gaining weight on birth control, but it affects each woman differently, so try to find a method that is right for you.

Now that most of the technical aspects are covered, we can get into the most important aspect of sex: being comfortable with anything you are about to take part in. Whether you are a virgin or not, man or woman, in a relationship or not, no person should pressure you into having sex. It’s tricky if you feel mentally ready to have sex with your partner, since you might not want it on the same terms. We sometimes forget that sex is not just intercourse. Sex occurs as various types of intimate behavior, such as oral sex, anal sex, phone sex, cyber sex or dry sex. The important thing is to know that you are in control of your own sexuality.

Some people prefer to wait until marriage to engage in sex. Refraining from sex should also be for the right reasons. It should be a personal decision based on maturity, not just on fear. Those who choose to refrain from sex should not feel alone or odd. There are many people who find that waiting is the most appropriate decision for them. There are countless ways that two people can show intimacy without having sex, and waiting can make that time more rewarding.

No matter what your choice is, we’re in college to learn and to make our lives better. Let’s make the right decisions in and out of the classroom. Until next time, be safe!

Editor’s Note: send your comments or questions to Chia at gettinkinky@gmail.com