Freda Mooncotch: Clarity Coach & Organizational Development Consultant  

Show Notes

• Archived Blog Post

  Date / Time: 1/9/2009 7:08 PM UTC

  Bobbi Bacha - Signs of Cheating
  

  Signs of Cheating
  
  Emotional Signs
  1. Lying, truthful relationships should have no reason for lies.
   
  2. Mood Swings: Indifference or coldness towards spouse and family members, Irritability, mood swings, and being quick tempered towards spouse for no apparent reason. Unusual sprees of being nice towards spouse for no apparent reason (usually because of guilt).
  
  3. Nothing is Right. You could have worked all day, cleaned the house, mowed the lawn, have dinner on the table, kids in bed and be waiting in bed naked for your spouse with a flower in your mouth... and still your spouse will find a problem. Or the opposite, your spouse does not care what you do, at all.
  
  4. Blame: They either blame you or the opposite they blame themselves. Blames spouse for minor or easily corrected problems in marriage, home, children, etc.
  
  5. Loss of Interest: Loss of attention in home activities, kids, family, yard, house, meals, events, holidays, etc.
  
  6. Intuition: You will suspect something is wrong and not be able to put your finger on the problem.
  
  7. Personality Change: Extreme HIGH or LOW in personality or both. Also could indicate a possible underlying Bipolar disorder (those with this disorder, tend to be non-selective or open to multiple partners or Sexually, with out any feelings of remorse or wrongdoing). # 9 below can also be a cause such as increase in prescription drugs (these will sometimes lead users to change personality) i.e. Prozac.....
  
  Physical Signs
  1.    Sexual Changes: Spouse will have a sudden change in sexual habits that are out of their normal behavior or lack of sexual advances all together. Wants sex all the time, and wants to try different or new positions, or does not want sex at all.
  
  2.    Personal Appearance: Spouse will have a sudden urge to want to workout, eat right and start to improve personal appearance and hygiene. (I.e. hair, dress, diets, working out, eating right, plastic surgery, etc.)
  
  3.    Schedule Changes: Not wanting to spend time at home, looking for any reason to go to the store at a drop of a hat. Travel for work, travel for conventions. Spending too much time at church, school, work, golf, shopping, fishing, hunting, Comes home late, works longer, longer lunches, goes to work early or on weekends, holidays, Disappears for any reason at the drop of a hat.
  
  4.    Youth Revisited: Going out with unmarried friends all the times (Bars, topless clubs, restaurants, pool halls.), buys a sports car verses as sensible family car. Starts drinking, hanging out in dance clubs or other activities that seems innocent at first but they are all places that put your mate in a "single type settings".
  
  5.    Spending habits change: Spending large amounts of time in their hobbies instead of being with their spouse and families. Jewelry purchases, travel. Or opposite, could be hoarding it and hiding it, to save for divorce or to support other party.
  
  6.    Financial Signs: Controls all money, hidden bank accounts. Purchasing large priced material items such as sports cars, boats, jet skies, and motor cycles out of the blue without consulting spouse or family members. New clothes and styles that are out of the normal for that person. Hiding money, credit cards, checking accounts, receipts apartments, rental properties and financial documents. Becoming very self- centered in spending habits and financial matters or the opposite does not care what you do with money (no interest) as long as you do not ask what they are doing. Moving bank accounts, stocks, getting out of country bank accounts are all signs of money control and will usually keep spouse with out full knowledge of all assets.
  
  7.    Disease: You develop a Sexually Transmitted Disease and you do not know why.
  
  8.    Visual Signs: Lipstick on collar, strange body secretions on undergarments, strange hair, perfume or cologne on clothing, condom packages (used or unused), lipstick on underwear, perfume or cologne on clothes, stained undergarments, unusual phone numbers with no name on page, hang up calls, phone numbers written down with no name. * We can check for DNA and determine male of female bio of any specimen.
  
  9.    Addictions: Alcohol, Drugs, and Gambling. If a spouse is cheating, bad habits may resurface.
  
  10.    Phone Bills: Will not allow you to see cell phone call log sheets, sneaking off and making calls at unusual times, unusual high phone bills, uses calling cards, pay phones frequently or received unknown frequent pages.
   
  11.    Travel: Unusual mileage on vehicle.
  
  12.    Computer Obsession: Sudden Internet obsession spends all the time on chat lines, downloading huge files or data, vast and hidden e-mails. Will not allow you any access to personal files, etc.
  
  13.    Friends: Wants you to start hanging out with a another married couples, co-workers as friends or encourages you to have a relationship (either friendly or intimate) with opposite or same sex friend or friends. Cheating spouse may want to have more access to other married partner they are cheating with, or to be able to have access one of the adults or friends on a constant, continual basis. I.e. trips together, movies, sports, married adults children play as friends, etc.*** We have found that most cheaters more likely commit adultery with a coworker, same hobby or school interest, or someone they have frequent or daily contact.
  
  14.    Using the Children: Spouse may be trying to turn children against the other parent, twisting truths, brainwashing, making the child feel the parent is inadequate, in preparation for an impending divorce. Or spouse may be doing the above in preparation to introduce the child to the child's new "step" parent. Spouse may also take an opposite position, by ignoring the children completely. Most of the time, the brainwashing or use of the children in this manor is because whichever parent gets the children gets child support, the parent that visits the children must pay child support to the visiting spouse. We see this start to happen before one of the parents is aware their partner is going to leave or may be planning to leave. * This type of use of children is very common in divorce situations and is very unhealthy for the children.
  
  15.    Isolation: A cheating spouse will isolate you or find ways to make sure their mate does not have friends, will severe relationships with family members, and will not allow outside interests, will not allow outside work as well as personal freedoms. This type of control ultimately allows the cheating spouse full reign to do as he or she pleases, with out question or outside observations. Spouses of this type could be abusive, verbally, physically and can be dangerous.
  
  If you're experiencing any or all of the above problems, it does not always mean that your spouse's problem is infidelity. There could be other reasons or another type of mistress.... Such as drug use, alcohol, gambling, mental illness, physical illness, loss of job or impending job loss or worry, personal problems with family members, etc.
  
  Never assume anything or jump to a conclusion, never try to take matters in your own hands and try to investigate on your own. First your evidence will not hold up in court and you will be putting all parties at risk. Many times you will only make yourself look like an obsessive spouse in court and you can be legally charged with stalking.
  Always get legal proof and validation by hiring an experienced and professional investigation firm to get the facts and find the truth, what ever that truth may be.
  
  Once you have factual and truthful information you will be armed with the data you need to make "informed decisions".
  
  Always seek the advice of an attorney concurring any legal matter; investigators are just fact finders and observers. What we see, and document becomes evidence to be used in court. You have the right to choose whatever investigation firm you want to use. We recommend that you never use an attorney whom also wants to investigate, as it will ultimately cause a conflict of interest, the attorney would have to remove himself from you case to testify for you. We also recommend that you check credentials and reputation of any Investigation Company or person claiming to be an investigator, prior to using such person or company.
  
  Blue Moon Investigations, Security and Protection
  (800) 488-2336
  
  
  
  
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