Freda Mooncotch: Clarity Coach & Organizational Development Consultant  

Show Notes

• Featured Episode

  Gratitude: The Missing Link to Permanent Change

  Freda Mooncotch

  Date / Time: 11/15/2009 5:00 PM UTC

  Category: Self Help

  
  

  Join me for 15 minutes of your time and listen as I share some insights on gratitude and why being grateful is so important. When we stop trying to change ourselves in the name of doing better in life and become incredibly grateful for our lives such as they are, something amazing happens...the change that we seek happens effortlessly. Learn the paradox of how effortless, lasting, permanent change only happens when people are grateful and how dissatisfaction and discontent are the factors that make change impossible.

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• On Demand Episodes           19858          

  Date / Time: 1/29/2009 8:31 PM UTC

  MyMakeupMirror.com with Suzann Kale

  Here are some of the links we talked about:
  
  http://www.mymakeupmirror.com
  http://www.leapingbunny.org
  http://www.safecosmetics.org
  http://www.ewg.org    (Environmental Working Group - lots of info. on products and toxins)
  http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com
  http://www.afterglowcosmetics.com/ingredients
  http://www.peta.org (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)
  http://www.mymakeupmirror.com
  http://www.mymakeupmirror.com/VeganBrushes.html
  http://www.vegetarianshoesandbags.com
  http://www.alternativeoutfitters.com
  http://www.greenpeople.org (a directory of eco friendly products)
  • Tags:
  • mymakeupmirror.com
  • suzzan kale
  • organic makeup
  • cruelty free makeup
  • vegan makeup
  No Comments

• Date / Time: 1/27/2009 9:08 PM UTC

  Marketing Yourself

   

  Here are some links to articles we discussed on the show Marketing Yourself with Kelly Watson:

   

  Why Women Are The Superior Marketing Sex:

  http://www.brandingstrategyinsider.com/2008/12/why-women-are-the-superior-marketing-sex.html

   

  A Sisterhood of Workplace Infighting

  http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/11/jobs/11pre.html

   

  Women Enjoy Better Pay With Their Social Network:

  http://working.canada.com/resources/story.html?id=7a1cbc6d-116e-4156-a94e-33f201c63622

   

  Also: http://www.EzineArticles.com

  • Tags:
  • kelly watson
  • womenwisemarketing.c
  • marketing to women
  • women
  • marketing
  No Comments

• Date / Time: 1/13/2009 8:36 PM UTC

  Amy Gordon's fashion tips and trends for Spring of 2009!

  AlphaWomen Radio Show 1-13-2009
  
  We are here with Amy Gordon, renowned fashion expert from Artfulwears.com. She and her store have been featured in the New York Times Style Section, Life & Style Weekly, and many others. Women all over the country have been seeking her style expertise for years and now she is here to help us address some of our fashion concerns.
  
  1. So it’s the New Year and women everywhere are struggling to shed their extra holiday pounds, as a style expert do you have some tips to help women look thinner while working off the extra weight?
  
  Yes, Freda, definitely! The way you dress can easily make you look 10-15 lbs heavier or thinner. All of these tips apply year round but are especially helpful now.
  
  A. First, make sure you are wearing the right bra size. The right bra size will actually make you look thinner by creating the right shape on your body. When the girls are up where they are supposed to be it creates a narrower looking waist. Also, it eliminates the unwanted ripples on your back. If you have been shopping at Victoria’s Secret, I suggest getting fit somewhere else as they sell limited size and they will try and fit you in something they sell. I am a fan of Nordstrom myself but any upscale store will have fit experts on staff.
  
  
  B. Make sure your pants or jeans are the right length. They should come to at least the middle of your heel or just above the floor. If your pants are too short, it cuts off the line of your leg and makes you look shorter and fatter. Taller women can be thankful that most designers are now make pants in a 33” length so EVERYBODY can have pants that are long enough.
  
  
  C. Make sure you fit the largest part of your body. So yes this does mean buying a bigger size sometimes but I assure you it will do wonders for your body. In my case, my thighs are the biggest part of my lower half. So in pants or jeans, I buy one size large and take in the waist. Size REALLY isn’t what matters. Fit does! Befriend your tailor. She will be your best ally, I swear.
  
  
  D. Choose styles that emphasize the best part of your body. For example if you have a tiny waist, choose a dress that belts or cinches at the waist and floats away from the body to de-emphasize your butt, hips, or thighs. If you have a larger waist, you will want to try something with an ompier seam, which comes above the natural waist line and floats away from the body to de-emphasize the waist.
  
  
  E. Stay away from clingy or jersey knits. They tend to show all the flaws.
  
  
  F. First, darker colors definitely make you look thinner. I certainly don’t want to encourage women to only wear black but it does look great on the body. You can achieve a similar affect with chocolate brown, darker shades of blue or even purple. Needless to say, BRIGHT oranges or pinks etcetera will make you look bigger. This is more of an issue in the warmer months though.
  
  2. A lot of our listeners are trying to be more budget conscious with their wardrobe. Can you advise them on some wardrobe essentials and how to make what they already have work and still create a fun look?                                           
  
  A. First of all, you have to have a great white shirt.            
  
  B. It’s sounds corny, but you must have a hot little black dress. It is SO easy to dress up or down. You can wear so many different shoes with it, add a jacket, change your jewelry etc.                
  
  C. You have to own one awesome pair of jeans. A common misconception these days is that they have to be expensive. THEY DON’T! My favorite pair of jeans is from Victoria’s Secret catalog and they were around $50.00. If you haven’t checked out zafu.com, I highly recommend it. You basically answer a bunch of questions about how jeans fit you and what you like and when you are done they suggest jeans that will fit you. It’s fantastic.                       
  
  
  D. An age appropriate black skirt is also essential.              
  
  
  E. You also need a great pair of fun heels. You can go red patent leather, purple, suede, or even gunmetal python. Choose something fun as this will spice up ALL your basics.                
  
  
  F. Find a gorgeous and sexy cami (or shirt if you need to cover your arms). You can put it under a jacket, wear it with jeans, or pair it with your black skirt.
  
  
  G. Throw in a funky and fitted jacket in to finish off the look. You can throw it over your white shirt or put a ribbed tank under it with jeans.                                                                                       
  
  
  Once you have these foundations, you can slowly add little things to mix and match.  Or use items already in your wardrobe. If you already have all of these items, you can start building in additional “fun” items. Accessorizing can truly change the look of anything basic. You will get a ton of mileage out of an additional, unique pair of shoes. To me a great wardrobe is a combination of well-fited basics and unique pieces.
  
  
  3.Is it really worth it to buy more expensive pieces?
  
  Well, first of all, don’t think price. Think fit. It doesn’t matter what it costs if the clothing doesn’t fit you right. Then after you think fit, think quality. Many times you can find terrific quality at a reasonable price.  In the long run if you buy better quality, it’s actually less expensive because it lasts a long time and you aren’t constantly replacing things.  
  
  What pieces are worth the biggest investment?
  
  That’s a really tough question. I will say this, I stay away from spending a lot of money on very trendy items. If I am buying something expensive, I want it to be unique and timeless rather than something that will be out of style next season because that is a waste. Let’s face it, we all want something trendy once and a while but that is where you should look for a bargain.
  
  In my opinion high-end shoes and bags give you the most bang for your buck. Cheap bags generally look cheap and cheap shoes are usually uncomfortable. A really great leather or suede handbag will stand out on a simple outfit. Again though, I would go for something unique, not what everyone is carrying. This will give you some style of your own.
  
  A great pair of shoes has the same effect. I never realized this until I got my first pair of Prada sandals. They are very simple but different. Wherever I wear them, I get compliments.
  
  Whenever you buy something, think long-term. Buy great pieces that you can mix and match with the rest of your wardrobe.                 
  
  4. What are some of the biggest fashion mistakes you see?
  
  Oh, where do I begin? Lately, it’s been A LOT of short pants. Maybe I notice it more because it’s my pet peeve. More particularly, ankle length pants. I want to go on the record to let women everywhere know that ankle length pants are BAD! The make you look short and doughty. This was the style in the early 90’s but it’s 2009!
  
  While I haven’t seen this a lot, I did come across a few people recently wearing dark bras under light tops. That is a major fashion violation. White bras under white tops are equally as horrific. If you can only buy one bra, make it skin color! It doesn’t show through white.
  
  The worst thing I ever see though are print pants. UGH. I mean really, who looks good in print pants? Do you ever see Hollywood celebs in print pants? No! Why? Because they are UGLY!
  
  More so than fashion mistakes, I just see a lot of style-less people. There are so many women with boring wardrobes of khakis and a polo. Even if you don’t aspire to be a fashionista, you can surely bump it up a notch or two. Lucky for khaki lovers, neutrals are very hot for Spring. However choose a pant with some style and substance and pair it with a great white shirt and some jewelry. This will take your average otherwise dull look to a whole new level.
  
  5. We see so many women perfectly styled on TV yet can’t seem to acquire that same chic/pulled-together look for ourselves. For women who are trying to take their look to the next level but are still fashionable, what do you think are some key areas that they can look to improve to create that effortless chic style?
  
  A. Well to start out, think less is more. If you are wearing to many accessories it will really detract from your outfit. If you are a person who tends to over accessorize, after you get dressed and ready to leave, take off one thing.
  
  
  B. Don’t over match. Too much matching is not chic. It makes your look tired, contrived, and boring. Again, the accessories should compliment one another but don’t have to be the exact same. Particularly jewelry sets, JUST SAY NO.
  
  
  C. The key to getting a professionally styled look is to create a mix of color, pattern, and texture. For example, last week I wore a simple black jersey dress and black boots. I put grey patterned tights underneath and a grayish metallic bag. Not only did it break up the black but it gave the outfit some visual interest and a little color and pattern. If you are mixing patterns try one bold pattern mixed with another fine or muted pattern in the same color palette.
  
  
  D.    Last, don’t over do the trends. Trends are fun and you can play with them but you have to do it with in reason. A good rule of thumb is one trend at a time.
  
  
  6. Speaking of trends what’s hot for Spring 2009?
  
  First and foremost, statement earrings are the key accessory. I love my large Peace Hoop Earrings from Saundra Messinger. They were on the cover of Vogue in September. If you are wearing a large earring, there is no need for a necklace.
  
  Menswear inspired fashions are also hot for Spring, Think a tailored button down shirt and jacket.
  
  All the top designers are showing nude hues in their Spring collections. From skirts and dresses to shoes, you will want to make sure you mix a few flesh colored pieces into your wardrobe. For women with paler complexions, I suggest doing the nudes on the lower half and not against the face. A Nude heel is very chic as it will make your legs look longer.
  
  Great news for pant lovers, anything goes for Spring. Whether you like wide-leg or skinny or a voluminous trouser, everything will be in style. If you are a skirt person, slimmer styles are more the trend. Last but not least, break out the belts. The wider the better.
  
  And what I am quite excited about is that sequins are still smokin’ hot! The latest twist are stripes of sequins in various colors. I have yet to see something like this that I like but the jury is still out.
  
  Another important look for Spring are metal studs/embellishments. Look for these on shoes in particular.
  
  • Tags:
  • artfulwears.com
  • amy gordon
  • fashion
  • trends
  • spring
  No Comments

• Date / Time: 1/12/2009 3:12 AM UTC

  Why Do Women Cheat?

  Last month, we asked the Straight Talk Panel if they knew why men cheat: boy, did we get an earful! They’re bored, it’s exciting, it’s worth the risk: all reasons women will point to when lamenting over the gap between the sexes. We women, however, are not blameless. We’ve been known to do pretty much all of the terrible things men do, but it’s more than likely that, as it always is with matters between the sexes, we do it for different reasons. What’s our excuse?
  
  Why do women cheat?
  
  Freda says: This is a very interesting question. I answered this question in previous posts entitled "Are Women More Monogamous Then Men?" and "Why Women Cheat." According to recent research done by AARP, 66% of women over 40 initiate divorce. These findings are also in agreement with Gail Sheehy’s research in her highly acclaimed book, Sex and the Seasoned Woman. Women are divorcing their husbands for younger men, older man, any man, or no man at all. The reason: they are willing to walk away to seek out their need to be cherished, desired, and pursued by a man who finds them interesting and exciting. The bottom line is that women want emotional intimacy.
  
  What I found even more interesting was the research that Dr. June Reinisch, Director Emeritus & Senior Research Fellow of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender & Reproduction, discovered and discusses in her video "Most Married People are Unfaithful." Oddly enough, men report liking their wives better than their mistresses, while women report liking their lovers better than their husbands. Of course, this is a general statement, but it just goes to show that men do not get attached to nor think of their mistresses in the same way that women get emotionally attached to their lovers.
  
  And here is something I find even more surprising: When asked the question “Are you planning on leaving your marriage because of your affair?” only 17% of males said yes and only 10% of females said yes! So, just because someone is cheating doesn’t mean they are leaving!

  Moreover, when asked the question "Are you planning on leaving your spouse for your lover?” only 9% of men said yes and only 6% of women said yes! So, a word to the wise: if you are having an affair and are thinking that something is going to come out of it I wouldn’t hold my breath!
  
  Dr. Diana Kirschner:

  
  

  They often do not know how to rekindle sensual and sexual love in their marriages.

  • They are not being romanced by their current partners.

  • They need listening, attention and/or excitement in their lives.

  She would also like to add, however, that "All of the above can be worked on and developed in one's current relationship!”
  
  Psychologist Diana Kirschner has appeared on Oprah & is a frequent guest on The Today Show. For over 25 years she has helped thousands of single women find love and success. Her new book is Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. For her e-tips, blog, dating articles, daily affirmations, and discussion forum visit LoveIn90days.com
  
  Charles says: Cheating was one of the subjects I covered with over 1,200 women and 400+ men in my research for The Problem with Women… Is Men; the results were fascinating. Aside from infidelity being identified as one of the four core flaws in men (as discussed in my book), the sad truth is that being caught—albeit subconsciously—was evidently the long-term goal for men. Allow me to elaborate:
  
  Despite what Extra host Mario Lopez and his guests say about If women nag, then men cheat the reality is actually much different. Besides, Mario is known for his infidelity, so why are we listening to him and his cronies?
  
  Women reported that they cheat mostly for emotional reasons, which highlights the contrast between how the genders identify the “reasons” for sex…the top reasons for women are:

  • Lack of emotional intimacy

  • Marital or relationship unhappiness

  • To reaffirm her desirability

  • To re-experience feelings of romance

  • Loneliness

   

  Charles Orlando is the author of the most provocative book for women The Problem with Women Is… Men: The Evolution of a Man's Man to a Man of Higher Consciousness. Through his efforts, Charles hopes to assist women in regaining their sanity, and empower men in evolving beyond their primal instincts.
  
  Tom says: I suspect it is different for every person... some are just selfish, some are vindictive, some feel unloved, some feel unwanted, and the list goes on.
  
  Kelly says: I think women cheat for the same reasons men cheat. They are not getting what they want from their relationship, they are bored and want a sense of variety, their partner is not meeting their needs, they want someone to pay attention to them, or they have self-esteem issues and are self-destructive in relationships. Or maybe they just are not the monogamous type.
  
  I think that for a woman who does not feel like she can leave her relationship (because there are children involved or she depends on her partner for economic stability) yet is not happy, it can be easy to go outside the relationship for what she is missing.
  
  It is easy to get caught up in the everyday stresses of life: parenting, working, running a household. Many times the sexual part of the relationship just goes out the window. Even her husband looks at her as a mommy instead of a woman, lover, and sexual being. Sometimes a woman just needs to know she's still got it and if her partner won't show or tell her, it is not hard to find someone who will.
  
  Also, as we now know, there are a lot of sexless marriages out there. If your partner has no interest in sex, what is a girl to do?
  
  I know an obvious question is why can't they just tell their partner their needs are not being met and try to work on the relationship? This is good in theory and would have a higher success rate if (1) couples had good communication—and if they did you would think they would not be in this situation in the first place—and (2) each partner was always responsive to meeting the other person's needs. I have been witness to situations where one person tells the other what they need/want/what is missing for them in the relationship, and the other person just flat out refuses to compromise/try to work on it/change/go to counseling. Again, if you are stuck in the relationship for whatever reason, are you supposed to just suck it up and go on without feeling loved, desired, appreciated, to go without sex?
  
  Relationships are complicated and human behavior is not simple, either. People do things for multiple reasons, some of which are known and other are unconscious motivations. Cheating, whether you are male or female, is no different.
  
  Kelly Connell M.S.Ed., Ed.D(c) is a sexuality educator and consultant who is currently completing her dissertation for her Doctorate Degree in Human Sexuality Education. Visit her website: SexPertKelly.com.
  
  Searah says: Oh dear! How can anyone answer this question? Women, like men, cheat for many reasons and I would think only the cheater knows why s/he is doing it. Some folks cheat because they are bored with the sex they get at home. I think that is one reason a lot of men cheat, but personally I think women may cheat for more emotional reasons (although new, exciting, hot sex can certainly be a reason). Getting a new person to want you sexually can certainly do much to raise a woman's self-esteem. I think there are also women who cheat to get back at their boyfriend/husband/partner for cheating on them (or because they think they have been unfaithful). There are probably a lot of women in unhappy relationships who cheat because they find someone who makes them feel better in some way... needed, sexy, young, happy.... There are probably as many reasons why women cheat as there are cheating women.
  
  Searah is a sex educator and owner of Early2Bed. All members of AlphaWomen.com get 10% off of their online purchases when they type in ALPHA in the coupon code area when checking out! Visit Early2Bed.com today!
  
  Gwen says: Women are very emotional beings. Men are much more visual. Women generally do not cheat for the thrill of cheating or because another person is more physically attractive to her. Men often cheat for emotional reasons as well, but between the two sexes, women carry the bulk of emotionally-based infidelity.
  
  That said, women tend to cheat when there is a lapse of some emotional connection they need in order to feel loved. What that lacking connection is, is dependent upon what is most important to each specific woman. Examples might be a deficiency in the amount of quality time being spent, a dissolution of effective communication between her and her partner, or a dramatic shift in what "he used to do" versus what he currently does (e.g. showering her with compliments, then stopping altogether after a while).
  
  Gwen Jimmere is Creative Director of Twisted Pearl Media Group, a self-described "Relationship Advice Giver," and author of the soon-to-be-released If It Walks Like a Duck...and Other Truths My Mother Taught Me. Through her o-nonsense blog, TheDuckWalk.com, she provides real answers for real-life relationship questions.
  
  Bobbi says: Over the years, I’ve seen many reasons for women cheating:
  

  • They married for security, not love (plays on the side)

  • They married because as a result of pregnancy, not necessarily because they were in love.

  • Revenge Cheating

  • Medical disorders like bipolar disorder—I’ve seen this a lot

  • They do not receive enough attention from their husbands

  • To have a secret sexy life apart from the family and everyday domestic life

  • They were seduced, not necessarily because they were looking to cheat or were unhappy, but were pursued by a man who was irresistible.

  • Finds a better possible mate: richer, more secure, nicer, or better-looking.

  • They are in a relationship of abuse--physical or mental—-and need to feel loved or wanted.

  • Seeking love

  
  Bobbi Bacha is president of Blue Moon Investigations, Security and Protection. She is a Texas Private Investigator portrayed in 2004 TV Sony Pictures Movie Suburban Madness played by actress Sela Ward. Bobbi Bacha also was involved with and worked on the case of New York Millionaire Robert Durst who was charged with murder in Galveston, Texas for killing his neighbor Morris Black but was found not guilty by a Galveston County Jury.
  
  Dan says: Women cheat for many of the same reasons as men. Tom W. Smith, director of the General Social Survey for the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago conducted the study "American Sexual Behavior," a poll of 10,000 people over two decades. The study found that 22 percent of married men and 15 percent of married women have cheated at least once. Although men are more likely to cheat simply for the sex, women are more likely to do it for a more intimate emotional connection.
  
  I think both women and men often cheat because they are unhappy with their relationships. Instead of communicating and resolving the issues they have, cheating becomes a subconscious sabotage of the relationship they are unhappy with. For women it can happen when the intimacy and emotional connection starts fading from their current relationship. If strong communication and the willingness to work on the problems isn't there, then the relationship is headed towards failure or infidelity.
  
  The moral of the story is the better communication and healthier intimacy you have with your partner, the less likelihood of infidelity.
  
  Dan McDonley created Charisma Coaching to help men and women learn the art of flirting, dating, and communication. Visit CharismaTips.com or CharismaCoaching.org
  
  • Tags:
  • cheating
  • infidelity
  • charles orlando
  • gwen jimmere
  • kelly oconnell
  No Comments

• Date / Time: 1/9/2009 7:08 PM UTC

  Bobbi Bacha - Signs of Cheating

  Signs of Cheating
  
  Emotional Signs
  1. Lying, truthful relationships should have no reason for lies.
   
  2. Mood Swings: Indifference or coldness towards spouse and family members, Irritability, mood swings, and being quick tempered towards spouse for no apparent reason. Unusual sprees of being nice towards spouse for no apparent reason (usually because of guilt).
  
  3. Nothing is Right. You could have worked all day, cleaned the house, mowed the lawn, have dinner on the table, kids in bed and be waiting in bed naked for your spouse with a flower in your mouth... and still your spouse will find a problem. Or the opposite, your spouse does not care what you do, at all.
  
  4. Blame: They either blame you or the opposite they blame themselves. Blames spouse for minor or easily corrected problems in marriage, home, children, etc.
  
  5. Loss of Interest: Loss of attention in home activities, kids, family, yard, house, meals, events, holidays, etc.
  
  6. Intuition: You will suspect something is wrong and not be able to put your finger on the problem.
  
  7. Personality Change: Extreme HIGH or LOW in personality or both. Also could indicate a possible underlying Bipolar disorder (those with this disorder, tend to be non-selective or open to multiple partners or Sexually, with out any feelings of remorse or wrongdoing). # 9 below can also be a cause such as increase in prescription drugs (these will sometimes lead users to change personality) i.e. Prozac.....
  
  Physical Signs
  1.    Sexual Changes: Spouse will have a sudden change in sexual habits that are out of their normal behavior or lack of sexual advances all together. Wants sex all the time, and wants to try different or new positions, or does not want sex at all.
  
  2.    Personal Appearance: Spouse will have a sudden urge to want to workout, eat right and start to improve personal appearance and hygiene. (I.e. hair, dress, diets, working out, eating right, plastic surgery, etc.)
  
  3.    Schedule Changes: Not wanting to spend time at home, looking for any reason to go to the store at a drop of a hat. Travel for work, travel for conventions. Spending too much time at church, school, work, golf, shopping, fishing, hunting, Comes home late, works longer, longer lunches, goes to work early or on weekends, holidays, Disappears for any reason at the drop of a hat.
  
  4.    Youth Revisited: Going out with unmarried friends all the times (Bars, topless clubs, restaurants, pool halls.), buys a sports car verses as sensible family car. Starts drinking, hanging out in dance clubs or other activities that seems innocent at first but they are all places that put your mate in a "single type settings".
  
  5.    Spending habits change: Spending large amounts of time in their hobbies instead of being with their spouse and families. Jewelry purchases, travel. Or opposite, could be hoarding it and hiding it, to save for divorce or to support other party.
  
  6.    Financial Signs: Controls all money, hidden bank accounts. Purchasing large priced material items such as sports cars, boats, jet skies, and motor cycles out of the blue without consulting spouse or family members. New clothes and styles that are out of the normal for that person. Hiding money, credit cards, checking accounts, receipts apartments, rental properties and financial documents. Becoming very self- centered in spending habits and financial matters or the opposite does not care what you do with money (no interest) as long as you do not ask what they are doing. Moving bank accounts, stocks, getting out of country bank accounts are all signs of money control and will usually keep spouse with out full knowledge of all assets.
  
  7.    Disease: You develop a Sexually Transmitted Disease and you do not know why.
  
  8.    Visual Signs: Lipstick on collar, strange body secretions on undergarments, strange hair, perfume or cologne on clothing, condom packages (used or unused), lipstick on underwear, perfume or cologne on clothes, stained undergarments, unusual phone numbers with no name on page, hang up calls, phone numbers written down with no name. * We can check for DNA and determine male of female bio of any specimen.
  
  9.    Addictions: Alcohol, Drugs, and Gambling. If a spouse is cheating, bad habits may resurface.
  
  10.    Phone Bills: Will not allow you to see cell phone call log sheets, sneaking off and making calls at unusual times, unusual high phone bills, uses calling cards, pay phones frequently or received unknown frequent pages.
   
  11.    Travel: Unusual mileage on vehicle.
  
  12.    Computer Obsession: Sudden Internet obsession spends all the time on chat lines, downloading huge files or data, vast and hidden e-mails. Will not allow you any access to personal files, etc.
  
  13.    Friends: Wants you to start hanging out with a another married couples, co-workers as friends or encourages you to have a relationship (either friendly or intimate) with opposite or same sex friend or friends. Cheating spouse may want to have more access to other married partner they are cheating with, or to be able to have access one of the adults or friends on a constant, continual basis. I.e. trips together, movies, sports, married adults children play as friends, etc.*** We have found that most cheaters more likely commit adultery with a coworker, same hobby or school interest, or someone they have frequent or daily contact.
  
  14.    Using the Children: Spouse may be trying to turn children against the other parent, twisting truths, brainwashing, making the child feel the parent is inadequate, in preparation for an impending divorce. Or spouse may be doing the above in preparation to introduce the child to the child's new "step" parent. Spouse may also take an opposite position, by ignoring the children completely. Most of the time, the brainwashing or use of the children in this manor is because whichever parent gets the children gets child support, the parent that visits the children must pay child support to the visiting spouse. We see this start to happen before one of the parents is aware their partner is going to leave or may be planning to leave. * This type of use of children is very common in divorce situations and is very unhealthy for the children.
  
  15.    Isolation: A cheating spouse will isolate you or find ways to make sure their mate does not have friends, will severe relationships with family members, and will not allow outside interests, will not allow outside work as well as personal freedoms. This type of control ultimately allows the cheating spouse full reign to do as he or she pleases, with out question or outside observations. Spouses of this type could be abusive, verbally, physically and can be dangerous.
  
  If you're experiencing any or all of the above problems, it does not always mean that your spouse's problem is infidelity. There could be other reasons or another type of mistress.... Such as drug use, alcohol, gambling, mental illness, physical illness, loss of job or impending job loss or worry, personal problems with family members, etc.
  
  Never assume anything or jump to a conclusion, never try to take matters in your own hands and try to investigate on your own. First your evidence will not hold up in court and you will be putting all parties at risk. Many times you will only make yourself look like an obsessive spouse in court and you can be legally charged with stalking.
  Always get legal proof and validation by hiring an experienced and professional investigation firm to get the facts and find the truth, what ever that truth may be.
  
  Once you have factual and truthful information you will be armed with the data you need to make "informed decisions".
  
  Always seek the advice of an attorney concurring any legal matter; investigators are just fact finders and observers. What we see, and document becomes evidence to be used in court. You have the right to choose whatever investigation firm you want to use. We recommend that you never use an attorney whom also wants to investigate, as it will ultimately cause a conflict of interest, the attorney would have to remove himself from you case to testify for you. We also recommend that you check credentials and reputation of any Investigation Company or person claiming to be an investigator, prior to using such person or company.
  
  Blue Moon Investigations, Security and Protection
  (800) 488-2336
  
  
  
  
  • Tags:
  • Bobbi Bacha
  • cheating
  • infidelity
  • private investigatio
  • advice
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