Dad Talk Radio  

The answer to this question is very basic. In today’s society, children learn at an early age that they can say and do almost anything they want and get away with it. Children are also keenly aware that if they put up a big enough stink that their parents will eventually give in and give them their way. By the time a child has finished the so-called terrible two’s, parents may have already lost control of the child’s behavior, and just walking the child through a store can be a nightmare. What is the problem? Why do so many young children enter school and think that it is okay to throw tantrums or have very serious problems with compliance or respect? Why do so many young children simply refuse to do what their teacher tells them to do just because they don't feel like doing it?

            Believe it or not, society needs to be held partly responsible for these children who enter school with this confrontational attitude that has teachers wringing their hands and wondering, What I am going to do with this child? The faulty theories and philosophies that have come out of our educational institutions, along with permissive ideologies of so-called child rearing gurus, have promoted the idea that children need to be respected more than they need to be compliant and that the ground is level. To put it plainly, we are now supposed to ask our children if they want to do things rather than tell them to do what we want them to do.

            People in society seemed to have had etched in their minds over the last forty years that children should have a choice when it comes to what they say and what they do. Children become used to questions like, What do you want for dinner? What do you want to wear today? We're going out now, okay? Or, you can do five problems on this math page; you can choose the ones you want to do. Or even better, you can either sit down or get out of the room, the CHOICE is yours. Children don’t need choices; they need direction! Believe it or not, they want to be told what to do. Giving a child a directive produces security in the mind of the child. It makes him aware that the teacher is in charge, and that there is only one way to do things, and that’s the teacher’s way. Choices produce insecurity and confusion. Young children do not have enough knowledge built into their little brains to allow them to understand how to make correct choices. Once they are given choices that they don’t like, the struggles begin.