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Show Notes

• Archived Blog Post

  Date / Time: 6/12/2008 6:14 AM UTC

  Is Your Child Involved In CyberBullying? Have You Monitored Their Online Activity? Who's Parenting?
  

  During the show I couldn't quite grasp the thought what would cause a young teen to be so thoughtless and cruel to one of his peers? And for such miniscule reasons. I've always heard the comment that kids can be so cruel, but cruel to a point it pushes another teen to despair and the end result suicide.
  
  Can you imagine for a moment the embarrassment being bullied at school and how you felt all day? What if the bully was much bigger than you and the last words he/she said were I'm going to beat you up. Add a bit of jeering from your peers; now how do you feel? Hopefully, by the end of the week they've found someone else to bully or at least a parent or teacher intervened on your behalf and diffused the situation.
  
  Enter the Internet with websites built with the specific intent to bully you 24/7. It's the 21st Century and that bully that was bigger than you and could push his weight around, can now be that string bean with no muscle but, can deliver a punch verbally and anonymously that is more painful than a physical beating. And to top it all off, it's a permanent reminder for the remainder of your life. It doesn't end with the recess bell ringing.
  
  Amy Ryan was our guest today and personally lived through the ordeal with her twelve year old son being a victim of "CyberBullying". Amy tells the story in her own words and the affects it had on her son. No parent should have to witness their child suffering at the whims of a CyberBully. The fact is that most kids won't tell their parents it's even happening until it's too late and tragedy happens.
  
  Some of the things Amy shared with us are that young teens tend to make very bold statements online that are public and draw a lot of attention but, yet are really not aware how hurtful they are to the victim. The CyberBully because they are somewhat anonymous and without the presence of peers that may disapprove of their actions, don't see the affects of their words and how the victim is reacting. The other thing that occurs is that the child usually doesn't know how to get themselves out of what they've started, or have participated in. Amy advocates talking to your kids and students how teasing/bullying affects the one being bullied and sometimes to the point of suicide. Amy Ryan said, "If you wouldn't write it down and give it to your Preacher or your Momma, don't put it on the Internet, because once you put it out there it's permanent and you have no idea what damage it's gona do to someone else, or even to yourself. Because years down the road you're looking for a job, or applying to college... employers are googeling you now and looking on Facebook...to see what kind of person you are."
  
  Young teens seem to feel bolder because of the perceived anonymity, also, allowing those that typically wouldn't have the physical presence to warrant any fear but, being anonymous allows them to be the CyberBully.
  
  Something that you wouldn't expect to have happened did take place, which was some parents of the community shunned Amy and her family as being over reactive and didn't want to become involved. Not only was the family shunned but, they were also harassed to the point of being vandalized. Ultimately, Amy removed her son from school and enrolled him in a private school. The majority of the harassment happened in the first six months but, has continued for three years. And all of this is a permanent record that will follow her son forever. Fortunately, the upside were the parents that thanked Amy for bringing this problem to other parents attention and the discovery it was happening to other children as well.
  
  "One of the first steps for parents to take when a CyberBullying occurs is to take it seriously", said Amy. If it's your child doing the CyberBullying, immediately take them off the computer until they fully understand what their actions are causing to others and don't dismiss it as "normal" teen aged behavior. "You don't want to find out too late that your child has been responsible, or even partially responsible for a teen tragedy", said Amy.
  
  What can we do about what our children are doing online? This is something Bill and I have talked about before with several of our guests, who also recommend monitoring (not just filtering) and Amy confirmed. This is the 21st century and parenting skills need to keep up with the times or your leaving your children alone on the internet to find out for themselves with no parental guidance or accountability for their behavior online. It is important for parents today to ensure good monitoring software that will provide parents a resource to help parent your child's online social skills. As Amy put it, we need to teach our kids how to act and behave in public but, we don't mentor them and teach them the social skills of how to behave online. We believe they are going to do what's right on their own... very risky.
  
  It's all about developing "Responsible CyberCitizens" in our children and their parents, which demands from all of us the respect for the power of the Internet. Organized Cybercrime understands the power of the Internet (here in the U.S. it costs all of us about $150 billion a year - $400 billion worldwide); those who distribute p.o.r.n.o.g.r.a.p.h.y understand the power of the internet (its a billion dollar industry). Our children may be tech-savvy, but they are still children playing with a powerful toll that's also in the hands of professional predators and cybercriminals.
  
  I asked Amy to share with us what came to mind when she heard the phrase "Responsible CyberCitizen". Amy felt it was a necessity for parents to know and understand computers well enough to enjoy their many benefits, while at the same time, to be aware of all the dangers associated with the Internet, especially when dealing with youths."
  
  Bill and I understand all too well the dangers of the Internet and it is very difficult to keep up with the cybercriminals...It's a full time career. That's why we suggest finding yourself a professional service, a Managed Security Service, which will handle the task for you. Both Bill and I, even as authorities in our industry, do not want to become IT Security Specialists. That's why we subscribe to an expert security service so we can enjoy a hassle-free computing. That way we can concentrate on what's important for you, knowing we are in good hands with a team of specialists keeping us safe.
  
  Amy finished by saying, "The main thing about being a Responsible CyberCitizen is to be AWARE & to spread AWARENESS across every platform possible."
  
  
  • Tags:
  • CyberBullying
  • Responsible CyberCit
  • Amy Ryan
  • Monitoring Software
  • Teens Online Social
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