Riverside, CA – We now know through research that our brains are wired to be in relationships. We’re searching for connection. The last 10 years have seen huge breakthroughs in how important a healthy relationship with your spouse truly is.
Lu Ann Ahrens is a marriage and family therapist specializing in providing couples with the essential tools critical to sustain a secure relationship.
“Relationships have always mattered to me,” says Ahrens. “I see myself as a process consultant to help couples see what’s happening between them and give them the tools to change it."
According to Ahrens, couples therapy is the more challenging types of therapy there is. Statistics show the average couple waits six or seven years before they ever go to counseling, so you can imagine what that couples brings with them to their first session.
“I love the energy of working with two sets of emotions in the room,” says Ahrens. “There’s nothing more rewarding for me than seeing a couple sitting at opposite ends of the couch who by the end of the session have found new hope for their relationship.”
In couples therapy, the relationship is the client; Ahrens’ job is to align with the relationship to help the couple change their dynamic. In session, Ahrens employs a type of therapy known as “emotionally-focused therapy” or EFT, which seeks to identify the emotional needs that drive the negative cycles that keeps couples stuck.
“’Are you there for me?’ Couples ask that question in a lot of different ways,” says Ahrens. “What we’re doing in session is teaching them how to express what they need in a way their partner can hear it. If they can begin to experience their spouse differently here, they’re going to be more mindful of those patterns.”
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